Ok, so this is a songfic. XD. It'll have two chapters. The first song is 'Sometimes' by Skillet. Enjoy. XD Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Skillet, or Animorphs.
TOBIAS
Sometimes when I lie
I know you're onto me
Sometimes I don't mind
How hateful that I can be.
"Tobias? Are you ok?" Rachel asked.
(I'm fine.) I lied.
Rachel frowned at me. "Are you sure?" She asked.
(I said I was fine.) I snapped. I knew she didn't believe me, but I didn't care.
"Ok, don't get upset with me. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I worry about you sometimes." Rachel said with a frown.
(Well don't, I don't need your pity.) I snapped. I knew I was being mean to Rachel, but I didn't care.
"Tobias...." Rachel said looking down.
Sometimes I don't try
To make you happy
I don't know why I do the things I do to you but...
(I'm leaving.)
"Wait!" Rachel said looking up at me.
I cock my head. (What?)
"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall tomorrow."
I knew if I said yes that would make her happy, but I didn't want her to be happy. (I'm busy.) I mumbled, than I speard my wings and flew out her open window. I silently cursed. I don't know why I did that to Rachel. A part of me wished I had just told her I'd go to the mall with her. I felt so confused.
Sometimes I don't wanna be better
Sometimes I don't want to be put back together
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
There's someone else who could be
Just as messed up as me.
I know I should be a better person, but someimes I don't wanna be a better person. I silently cursed again. For years I've felt like I was slowly falling apart. I've wanted to be put back together, but sometimes, like now, I don't want to be put back together.
(It's hard to believe there could be someone as messed up as me.) I mumbled to myself as I flew towards my meadow.
THE NEXT DAY
"Tobias?" Rachel called.
I turned my head. (What?)
Rachel walked over to the tree I was perched in.
Sometimes don't deny
That everything is wrong
Sometimes rather die
Than admit it's my fault.
"Can we talk?" Rachel asked looking up at me.
(About what?) I asked.
"I just want to make sure everything's ok between us. Everything is ok, right?" She asked hopfully.
(No, everything's wrong.) I replied.
Rachel looked shocked. "What? I don't see what could be wrong."
(Don't deny that everything is wrong. Because it is wrong.) I snapped.
Rachel frowned. "Besides your attiude nothing's wrong!" She snapped right back.
(Don't blame this on me.)
"Why not? Do you think it's my fault?" Rachel said loudly.
I glared at her.
"Tobias, sometimes I think you'd rather die than admit anything is your fault!"
Sometimes when you cry
I just don't care at all
I don't know why I do the things I do to you but...
(It's not my fault. You know what Rachel? I think I'm better off without you.) I growled.
Rachel looked shocked. "Tobias....You don't mean that." She said in a whisper.
(Yeah I do.) I replied coldly.
Rachel quickily looked down, but I saw it. I saw the single tear rolling down her cheek, but I didn't care. 'Why do I do this to you Rachel?' A part of me asked myself.
Sometimes I don't wanna be better
Sometimes I can't be put back together
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
There's someone else who could be
Just as messed up as me.
"Isn't there something I can do? Something to help you?" Rachel asked.
(Help me? You sound like there's something wrong with me. There may be something wrong, but sometimes I don't want to be better. Sometimes I can't be put back together. My life is what it is.)
Rachel shook her head. "Tobias, please..." She said softly.
I turned my head. 'I'm so messed up.' I thought.
I want someone to hurt
Like the way I hurt
It's sick, but it makes me feel better.
Rachel was now getting angry. "So what? Does this mean we're through?" She said loudly.
(I guess so. Don't be sorry for me Rachel, I've chosen this life, and you aren't apart of it. So forget about me, because I won't be thinking about you.) I mumbled. I saw the hurt look in Rachel's eyes. I know it's sick, but it made me feel better. 'I guess I just want someone to hurt, like I hurt.' I thought. Than I spread my wings, and took off.
Sometimes I can't hide
The demons that I face.
Sometimes don't deny
I'm sometimes sinner sometimes saint.
Sometimes the demons I face are hard to hide, but I would never let anyone know how bad they are. I won't deny that I act like a sinner sometimes, and than a saint, but I've been more sinner than saint. 'There's no hope for me.' I mumbled to myself.
Sometimes I don't wanna be better
Sometimes I can't be put back together
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
There's someone else who could be
Just as messed up as me.
'I'll always be like this. Trapped, with no way to get better. I have fallen apart, and the worse thing is I don't care if I ever get put back together. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, maybe I'll get over it, or maybe I won't. Guess only time will tell, but until than, it's best I'm not around Rachel, or anyone else. I thought as I flew through the woods. I didn't know where I was going, or if I would ever come back.
Ohhh. XD. Ok, so I haven't gotton any constructive criticism lately. Which normally makes me happy, but the criticism helps me improve on my writing. So if y'all see a mistake I seem to make more than once please tell me. XD Hope y'all liked this chapter.