Honestly, I didn't see it coming.

I swear.

It's just one of those things a person can't understand. But why or how doesn't really matter, I guess. Now.

Maybe it started after you became a cat. You see, you weren't exactly pretty before. All those wrinkles and stuff. And, yeah, you treat me like a complete idiot half the time. But love is blind; what can I say? Now that you old, tired face is hidden, you've just suddenly become more.........well, real to me.

I couldn't believe you would choose me, me the idiot, me the patsy, me the little boy that never quite lost the magic of being a child. Me, to be your manservant, out of all the other young guards on the force. At first, I was just glad to be out of that body paint; I think I'm slightly allergic to it, anyway. Honestly, what's Kuzco thinking?

I vowed to myself to work as hard as possible. Maybe, just maybe, you'd let the decade pass and keep me. Maybe I would last. I did anything you wanted, flicked the fly and half cracked my skull doing it, made you my best dishes, sparing no expense. I even went along with you when you said you wanted to kill Kuzco.Well, sort of. I'm a naturally nice guy, and even though Kuzco was kind of a jerk, I still admired him. I mean, look at the guy. At the age of seven, on his birthday, no less, his parents get killed and he's thrust into rulership, with no concern for the grieving process. Talk about heartless. It's no wonder he grew up so spoiled; everyone felt too sorry for him to do anything disappointing. I do, too, but you have to stop sometime, ya know? I may be childlike, and fun-loving, but at least I'm not whiny. Plus, there's the whole "you-threw-off-my-groove" thing. Ouch!

So, anyway, and I know you're going to kill me for saying this, I mixed up the potions ON PURPOSE. That's right. On purpose. I even folded over the label, which was easy to do since you don't use the sticky kind, Miss "Tape and paper are good enough for me." And then, I mixed up the glasses on purpose,too. I had put a chip in the one Kuzco should have gotten so I could tell the difference. But I postponed the inevitable. You know, I should have been an actor, because I played the nervous assassin well.

And then Kuzco turned into a llama. I can't really say why I chose llama potion; I just grabbed the first thing I saw. But I'm digressing. More about you and me.

I know that saying all this will make you angry at me. But I have to get it out. I want to start this clean, no secrets, all honesty. I want to make this good. And I know we're May/December,............ okay, make it March 1st/ December 31st, but still, I can't help it.

The only time you ever really hurt me was when you said you never liked my spinach puffs. I mean, I know you were venting and all, but that just bit my soul. Hard. I never felt like that before. And I never want to again.

So, if you're not afraid to love me, I'm waiting. Waiting for you to take a look past my chef's hat and apron. Waiting for you to see me for who I really am. More than just a man-of-all-work, a bodyguard, a friend.

I love you, Yzma.