To Seraphin1977
The Fellytone.
(Das Feleton.)
Translated from German, thanks to AllegroAssai!!!!
"Darling… I understand that you had to invite Draco Malfoy, good relationships and so on, but… Snape?"
Ginny didn't want to be annoyed, not on Harry's birthday.
"He just stands around, drinks nothing, does nothing. He'll be bored to death and spoil the party…"
Her brothers nodded simultaneously.
Harry furrowed his brow. He'd expected that Snape wouldn't come… same with Draco. But now they were there.
He looked out of the window into the garden. Snape stood there, all dressed up and nowhere to go. Draco showed off with something, probably with his father…
"It'll be alright."
Ginny looked unhappy.
"I bet, Snape will have… a whale of a time," smiled Harry confidently. Ron and George grinned and their eyes followed Harry into the garden.
"The bet is on."
They went outside together.
"This is my fellytone," announced Draco pompously. "My moooobile fellytone!"
Immediately a bunch of people gathered round him, first a hysterical Mr. Weasley.
Harry was now the only one on the lonely table, apart from Snape. The man held a glass in his hand that seemed to support him somehow. He also looked as if he was suffering nasty toothache.
"It's called telephone, Potter," grumbled the Potions Master.
"I know," answered Harry calmly.
No argument with Snape, it was Harry's birthday, after all.
Only Malfoy didn't seem to be aware of that fact, or anyone here, really.
Draco's eyes glittered and he looked very important.
"Okay, EVERYONE can have a go on the fellytone!"
Snape and Harry exchanged a meaningful glance.
"Everyone can have a go. But you must QUEUE!"
Arthur Weasley skipped and wrestled himself to the beginning of the queue immediately.
"And be careful!! The fellytone is VERY VALUABLE! That is because it is a MOOOBILE FELLYTONE!!"
Snape had another gulp of punch. A surprisingly large gulp.
Harry's glasses steamed up, on the lower edge.
Mr. Weasley looked as if he was about to fall unconscious.
"Can the fellytone ring?" he asked, panting.
"Of course!" said Draco proudly, "I can even choose a RINGTONE!"
"Several tones??" Mr. Weasley was so red that Ron watched him with worry in his face.
"Yes. Hold on."
Airily, Draco typed and one could have heard a needle fall. With every type… there was a little beep.
Harry heard the crowd murmuring in astonishment. With his now entirely steamed up glasses he looked at Snape who had fetched himself a third glass. He seemed rather busy.
"Yes!" said Draco with satisfaction, "I put it on AUTOMETICS, then it won't need to use as much energy!"
Snape seemed a little jittery while drinking his fourth glass. Harry hurriedly joined him in order to catch up. He'd only just finished his second.
Mr. Weasley's hands trembled terribly while he pressed the buttons. It beeped. He beamed. Ginny looked over his shoulder and said, with admiration, to her father: "I didn't know you are good with THAT sort of stuff, dad…"
Snape and Harry exchanged another glance. Harry took his glasses off and put them into his pocket. Snape looked a little dishevelled. He'd reached glass number five. Harry was quicker; he was now on his fourth.
"The fellytone is from…" said Draco, before inserting a dramatic pause, "… a MUGGLE SHOP!!"
The following "ahs" and "ohs" made him grow three metres.
"It was still wrapped!! In foim!!"
Snape seemed to be choking. He coughed. Thoughtfully, Harry patted the man's back. This was acknowledged with a nod, but by then Harry too was being happily held by his glass.
"Have you got that foim?" stammered Mr. Weasley, his nerves all on edge. "Have you still got that foim??"
"Hold on." Draco Malfoy looked through his pocket and got the transparent foil and some bubble wrap.
"There you go. For you," he said patronisingly.
The evening was finished for Mr. Weasley. Newly in love with his bubble wrap, he backed up and moved into a quiet corner.
"I'll make my fellytone ring again!" announced Draco loudly and Mr. Weasley ran back to him taking long strides.
"Attention!" Draco pressed many buttons and the breathless bunch heard another ring.
"Okay, enough now," said Draco coolly, "I need to put it in my pocket and switch it to autometics. Because of the energy. Because I need to make phony calls. Best thing is to keep it in a bit of foim, always."
Snape stood up and ran away from the table, around the corner, with one hand on his mouth and made funny noises. Harry just saw billowing robes and he was actually worried.
Snape was his guest after all.
Determinedly Harry put on his grubby glasses. They were a bit wonky.
Harry peered round the corner. Snape was supporting himself with one arm on the wall and pressed the other against his mouth.
He's going to puke, Harry thought aghast. I've got to run. If he sees me watch him puke I will not be here for my next birthday…
Then he saw the heaving shoulder. He is crying! Harry opened his mouth and wondered what might be the cumulation of aghast. Merlin, he is crying. Fuck, that is worse, think quickly…
An odd noise came from his body, a…gurgle.
He is transfiguring! Now Harry was interested. He is transfiguring into what? And why?
Warily, Harry narrowed his eyes and listened to the odd gurgling sound.
It sounded as if someone had brewed a thick potion that had started to bubble and overflow. It was as if someone put his head under water and made bubbles. As if someone really wanted to but couldn't… get a hold of himself, like in Trelawney's lessons…
No. Impossible.
Snape still had his hand pressed on his mouth, his hair covering his face. Harry heard more of the noises, the shoulders heaved more violently and… Snape gasped into his hand, a dark, chortling snort…
Snape was laughing.
Quickly, Harry walked away. He'd won. Snape had hid behind a corner and laughed. He was having a whale of a time.
Harry had won.
"Hah!" he shouted to his friends. "I have won. Snape is standing there and is laughing his arse off!"
"WHAAAT?" asked George. "I have to see that!"
He ran away and only seconds later a little pot-bellied pig scuttled around the corner. Followed by a mask-like Snape.
"More punch, sir?" purred Ginny. Snape stared her down.
"No," he said snidely, hair standing up on all sides. Some strands were plastered to his face. His eyes were still full of tears.
"You know who actually won, Potter?" said Malfoy quietly over Harry's shoulder, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows.
"Who, Malfoy?" asked Harry graciously.
"Me," Draco shouted loud and happily. "Me and my fellytone!"
To everyone's regret, Professor Snape was unable to stay any longer and had to disapparate immediately. He had very important business at Hogwarts.
Very important indeed.
Obviously.
End.