A.N. So last year in my World History class my teacher decided to give us a "fun" project for our unit on the French Revolution: write a short story explaining the Tennis Court Oath and the events leading up to it. Somebody used The Office, somebody used House, somebody did the NFL... I used the [old] Star Trek movies. And now I have decided to put this story on Fan Fiction so you can read it.
P.S. I'm really not a Kirk hater, but somebody had to be the French government.
Disclaimer: Me own no Trek.
The crew of the USS Enterprise was full of turmoil. They had been on a mission for Starfleet (so top-secret that its purpose could not even be stated in this World History assignment) for two weeks. Usually missions took a little over two hours, including unneeded panoramic views of the Enterprise. They were following a trail colder than a Vulcan family reunion and everyone just wanted to hit Warp Drive and go back to Earth. That is, everyone except Captain Kirk.
However, one Kirk-vote pretty much trumped all the rest of the crew's votes put together. When certain crew members complained, Kirk reminded them that those were Starfleet rules. That did not stop the crew from complaining, especially since after three more days of the mission Uhura reported that the Enterprise had lost contact with Starfleet, and everyone else on Earth.
After a day hard at work looking heroic and bossing everyone around, Captain Kirk went to his quarters to find all the crew members important enough to have names standing there. "Look, Jim," said Bones, the medical officer. "There's nothing out here. I hate to say this, but we should give it up."
"You all think this? Even Chekov? Sulu? Uhura?" Kirk asked incredulously.
"I haven't been promoted the entire time I've been on the Enterprise, and I've worked here longer than you now. You shouldn't out-vote everyone," said Sulu.
"Yeah, same here, and I'm tired of having to patch in calls and look up files when there's nothing out here to look up! My job is boring on a good day!" complained Uhura.
"I can't believe this. I've been your captain for this long and you all start a mutiny! This is outrageous! This is still a Starfleet ship, and since I technically used to be an Admiral before I was dumb enough to demote myself, I'm still in charge. Now, all of you get back to your-"
Captain Kirk was cut off by Spock, who had snuck up behind him to inflict an awesome Vulcan nerve pinch. Scotty was surprised. "I thought we were just going to tie him up," he said.
"It was not logical to let him continue to rant," pointed out Spock. "Also, he was bringing out the illogical Human emotion of annoyance in me."
The mutineers applauded. They left Kirk on the floor and walked cheerfully back to command deck, where they announced to all the nameless crew members that Kirk had been removed from authority. Spock would now be serving as captain of the USS Enterprise. The former science officer's first order was to edit the Starfleet Manual so that missions with no results were to be cut off after one week. The only logical course of action after that was to turn the Enterprise around, go into Warp Drive, and head back to Earth.