A/N: I don't own any of the characters from CSI: NY or the show itself. The only thing I own is this story. This is my first fic ever, so I hope you guys like it! All reviews are greatly appreciated!
Song: Marcos Hernandez "The Way I Do"
Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night
Lindsay lay in bed staring at the ceiling. The events of the past 24 hours seemed like a blur, but somehow she was able to re-live each moment as if it just happened. She had never imagined her relationship with Danny would come to this. "Did he really kiss me?" Lindsay kept asking herself over and over again. But more importantly, the question that kept following her first... "Did I really let him??"
After finishing the paperwork from their case, Danny and Lindsay were exhausted. Who could blame either of them? Abuse cases were always exhausting no matter which CSI you were. In the locker room, each grabbed their things from their own locker. Danny stole a glance at Lindsay, and thought she looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"Goodnight Danny." Lindsay said without even a glance.
Before Danny could say anything, she was already walking toward the elevators. He quickly shouldered his own jacket on and raced after her.
"Hey Montana! Wait up!" Danny caught the door of the elevator just in time.
"Everything OK Danny?" Lindsay silently cursed herself for not leaving fast enough and letting Danny catch the same elevator.
She couldn't quite explain the way Danny made her feel. Just being in his presence, it was like heaven and hell at the same time. All he had to do was flash that sexy, cocky, smile of his, and she wanted to melt with the torture at how red and flushed she got.
And if Danny's smile made her melt, those deep blue eyes of his practically put her in a trance. It was like watching a Montana sunset. It was if his eyes were the most beautiful thing in the world, and Lindsay never wanted to look away. The fact that she could find comfort, safety, cockiness, kindness, and mystery by just looking into his eyes, was such a turn-on for her.
She would giggle silently to herself whenever Danny got excited about having a break in a case. Sure Danny had all the looks to swoon every woman in New York, but she really appreciated the fact that he was a very smart man. Unlike some of her past boyfriends, Lindsay never felt like she was talking to a rock.
"Listen, that case was pretty tough on everyone. I was wondering if maybe... you wanted... to take a walk with me?" Lindsay was surprised that there was a bit of nervousness in his voice. Was Danny Messer actually getting nervous around her?? Something must be up.
"Danny, it's almost midnight. Where are we going to walk at this hour?"
Almost pleadingly, Danny said, "C'mon Montana. I really wanna show you something. You really need to see this. Don't make me get on my knees and beg Montana."
Lindsay let out a soft laugh. "That would be a sight Messer."
Danny gave her a pout and puppy-dog eyes. Lindsay didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or kiss him right there. That face combined with those eyes, she thought she just might faint if she didn't answer him.
With a sigh, Lindsay said, "OK, Messer... but only because you begged."
Danny flashed her a smile, and they walked out of the elevator and building. All the while, Lindsay kept asking where they were going, but Danny would only answer by changing the subject and asking her things about her life back in Montana. Finally, Danny stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Lindsay.
"OK, close your eyes."
Lindsay stared at him questionably with a blank look on her face.
"Please just humor me Montana." And Danny gave her that puppy-dog face again. Damn that face, she just couldn't say no. Lindsay closed her eyes and Danny took her hand. She allowed him to lead her for what was only a few yards.
"OK... open your eyes..."
Lindsay opened her eyes and breathed in a sharp breath. She stared into the open water and city lights, fighting for a word... something... anything. Danny looked at Lindsay and smiled to himself. He slipped behind her and stared out with her.
"Oh Danny... it... I..."
Lindsay felt herself go weak in the knees when she felt his breath on the back of her neck as he spoke, "So, does it beat the wheatfields?"
Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done
Lindsay looked at the clock, 5:15am. She was still trying to figure out how she could let this happen. She had prided herself on being independent. Yes it was nice to be loved, kissed, hugged, cuddled with. But as her past experience taught her, all of that came with a price. If the abuse wasn't verbal, it was physical. She was beginning to think that something was wrong with her. Deciding that her past relationships was probably her own fault, Lindsay Monroe swore off relationships to keep herself from getting her heart, and body broken again.
"What have you done to my heart Danny Messer..." Lindsay said to herself.
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do
Lindsay felt a chill run down her back thinking about Danny and tightened her blanket around herself. She closed her eyes and longed to feel Danny holding her again in his arms. She was by all means strong-willed, but when it came to Danny, something made her open up and just let him in. Instead of drifting off to sleep, Lindsay found herself drifting back to the past 24 hours again and how she let herself fall in love with the one man she never thought was possible to fall in love with.
Your touch, your skin,
Can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight,
I need you like the ocean needs the tide.
While looking at the city skyline, the only thing that passed between them was silence. After about 15 min. Danny took Lindsay's hand and silently led her to a nearby bench. With the soft light of the lamps, Danny caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. Surprising Danny and herself, Lindsay was the first one to speak. She told him of her past relationships and all the abuse she endured. Danny never got mad, he never spoke up and cut her off, he never cracked a wise comment. Instead, Danny sat there holding her hand and listening to her patiently while she opened up about her past. When Lindsay was finished, tears were running down her cheek, and Danny hugged her into a warm embrace. Lindsay clung to him and cried. In her heart, she knew she needed this... she needed Danny.
Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done
Lindsay had tried so hard to keep Danny at bay. She just couldn't stand having herself shattered into a million pieces again. It had taken her moving to New York to pick up her pieces. She didn't come to the city looking for dates or flings or one night stands. And she most certainly didn't come here looking for love. But somehow it seemed the harder she tried to not look, the more love came knocking on her door.
Lindsay had looked at her clock. Almost 6 am. With the recounts of last night running through her head, she knew there was no point in sleeping. She sighed and forced herself out of bed to make some tea.
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
With her tea in hand, Lindsay curled up on her couch and stared out the window. Rain fell gently on the pane of glass and she wished so hard Danny was sitting here with her. Not having Danny here somehow made her feel incomplete. Lindsay sighed again, and took a sip of her tea. She knew it wasn't the hot drink making her warm, but it was the thoughts of last night keeping the cold out. Lindsay silently cursed herself again, but this time for breaking her own promise to herself. She had fallen in love with Danny Messer.
I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done
Lindsay had finished crying, and with his other hand, Danny wiped the tears from her cheeks. Deciding she wanted to walk again, Lindsay stood and walked along the river, glancing up every once in a while to look at the city's lights. Danny walked next to her, and Lindsay didn't forget that his hand was still holding her own.
"After all of that, I promised myself I'd never fall in love again. I'd never let someone in my heart. I'd make it through this life, this city, all by myself. You know Messer, you made me break that promise." Lindsay said giving him a soft smile.
Danny couldn't help but give her one of his famous cocky smiles. "Well Montana, I'm blaming you for ruining my rep around the lab. Do you know how much crap Flack and Stella would give me if they found out that I..."
Danny stopped in his tracks and cut himself off and realized for the first time what he was about to say.
Lindsay looked at him straight in the eyes and asked, "That you what Danny?"
Replacing his cocky smile, was a different smile. Something Lindsay was sure she had never seen before in Danny. Putting his heart and everything he had in himself on the line, Danny finally spoke up again.
"That I fell in love."
Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
Lindsay looked at herself in the mirror. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing it was Danny's arms instead of her own. Even in her past relationships, Lindsay Monroe was not a needy person. But as she reminisced the events that unfolded last night, she found herself longing to be in Danny's arms again.
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do
It was as if all time had stopped. His words were the only thing she could hear. His eyes, the only thing she could see. Lindsay looked down, a little shy, a little unsure of herself. Danny put his hand under her chin and lifted her face up so she was looking at him again. He smiled as he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. And as slowly as the world moved, Danny's lips came closer to her own. Danny stopped his own lips an inch from hers, and Lindsay closed her eyes.
"I love you..." were the last words Lindsay managed to breathe out. She held her breath and their lips finally met.
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do
The rain came down harder, and Lindsay sighed as she unblinkingly stared out her window. Thinking back on the kiss last night, she felt another shiver run down her body. She smiled to herself and wondered when she would see him next. When she would feel his arms around her, and his lips on hers. Lindsay's thoughts were broken by her cell phone ringing.
"Monroe" she answered.
A familiar voice on the other end said, "Look out your window." The caller hung up the phone immediately and Lindsay ran to her window. There, standing under an umbrella across the street in the pouring rain, was Danny Messer holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked up at her window and smiled his all too famous cocky, sexy, grin. Lindsay couldn't help but flash him her own smile. And at that moment, Lindsay knew she would never have to wonder about Danny Messer anymore.
I love you
I need you
I want you
..the way I do