The real Dark Magician, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

The real Dark Magician

Parody of "The real Slim Shady"

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Dark Magician please stand up?

I repeat, will the real Dark Magician please stand up?

Looks like we're gonna have a real problem here

Ya'll act like you've never seen a magic person before

Jaws all on the floor, like Tristan, like Mai just burst through the door

And started whoopin' Kaiba's ass worse than before

he first was defeated, throwin' him over the stadium (Ahh)

It's the return of the, .."Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,

he didn't just say what I think he did, did he

And Pegasus said....Nothing you idiots

Pegasus's dead, he locked in my graveyard pile (Ha ha)

(Chigga, Chigga, Chigga)

"Dark Magician, I'm sick of him

Look at him, wielding his staff around, and killing Labyrinth tanks."

Toon Gemini Elf: "Yeah, but he's so cute."

Yeah, I probably got some screws in my head loose

But no worse, than what's going on in that maze

Sometimes, I wanna get in that duel and hang loose

But it's cool for Axe Raider to kill an undead moose

"My sword is jabbed through your skull, My sword is jabbed through your skull.'

And if I'm lucky, we just might get some star chips

And this is the message we deliver to Gate Guardian

And expect them not to know how to defeat a Toon

Of course, Pegasus is gonna know what cards Yugi holds

By the time he loses

Yugi loses all his star chips, doesn't he?

"We ain't nothin' but mammals..." Well, some of us are cannibals

Who cut other monsters open like Cocoons of Evolution

But if we all can kill undead mooses and Antelopes

Then there's no reason why a Summoned Skull and a Red Eyes can't merge

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Duelists, wave your cards in the air and sing the chorus as it goes

Dark Magician!

I'm Dark Magician, the real magician

The rest of you duel monsters are just imitating

So won't the real Dark Magician please stand up?

Please stand up, please stand up?

Bandit Keith doesn't hafta cheat and steal in every duel he plays

Well, I do. So fuck him and fuck you too, Pegasus

Do you think I give a damn about a spell book?

Half of you Kuribous can't stomach me, so let alone stand me

"But Dark Magician, if you got one, wouldn't it be weird?"

Why? So you could just lie to get me here?

So you can stab me with a fire spear?

Shit, Joey Wheeler better change cards

so I can attack that Flame Swordsman and Garoozis

And hear them argue about who was his favorite card

You little asshole, put me on the blast on Konami

"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Dark Magician girl, hee-hee!"

I should download her audio on MP3

and show the whole world how you gave Dark Magician VD

I'm sick of you all you little Harpy lady and Gaia the fierce knight groups, all you do is annoy me

so I've been sent here by Yugi to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

You attack like me; who just kill SwordStalker like me

who dress like me; talk, walk and act like me.

and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

Dark Magician

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you

Things you joke about with your friends inside the dueling room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it

In front of y'all, I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

and whenever you like to admit (ERR) I just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you duel monsters out can

Then you wonder how Kaiba rips up that blue eyes white dragon like toilet paper

It's funny; Cause the rate I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only one in that Duel monsters deck flirting

Pinchin' Mystical Elf's ass when I'm jackin' off with The magician of faith

And I'm jerkin' and this whole bag of viagra isn't workin'

And every single person is a Dark Magician lurkin'

He could be workin' at Kaiba corp, blowing up Kaiba's machines

(HACH) Or in the parking lot circlin'

Screamin' "I don't give a fuck"

with a Curse of Dragon flyin' the spells shooting up

So, will the real Dark Magician please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Dark Magician

Dark Magician: Ha ha. Guess there's a dark magician inside all of us

Fuck it, let's all stand up

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