The dream begins as it always does. With nothing but blessed unconsciousness.
What a pity that peace never lasts.
Rey is startled out of sleep by a deafening clang. She finds she can't move, her wrists and ankles locked in the vise of metal binders, holding her in an upright position.
Oh, no. No.
She keeps her eyes shut, afraid of what she already knows she will see. And yet, that cold, roiling presence is so loud in the silence, that she is compelled to respond. Slowly, almost against her own will, her eyes flicker open.
There he is. A cruel skull of a mask with a void for eyes, silently studying her from where he kneels. She swallows, tries to fight off the fear threatening to creep across her features.
"Where am I?" It comes out shakily, small.
The void grins at her. "You're my guest."
She shudders at the sound of that disembodied voice. Suddenly she longs for Finn, for Han, BB-8. Someone. Anyone.
She can't help herself. "Where are they? The others?"
"You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?" he says. "You'll be relieved to hear I've no idea."
Is he chuckling? Rey stiffens.
The skull cocks to one side. "You still want to kill me." It isn't a question.
She clenches her teeth, knowing she should stay quiet, knowing that provoking him will only lead to punishment. But she can't help biting out, "That tends to happen when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask."
She's done this a thousand times before, in sleep. Every time, the mask comes off to reveal the face of a young man. Then the torture begins.
Not this time.
Slowly, the gloved hands reach up to remove the mask. But underneath, instead of the youthful face of the man called Kylo Ren, there is shrivelled pink tissue and horror.
Rey shrieks as Snoke materializes before her, the gloved hands bubbling, melting into flesh. The golden robes taking place of the black. "Young Rey," he laughs uproariously, hideously . "So good to have you back, my dear!"
Cold and sharp, his rotting fingernails trail down the side of her face. Rey shudders and cringes, but now she is completely immobilized, suffocating in the grip of the Dark Side. Even her eyes are trapped wide open.
"Don't be afraid," he whispers, a mockery of kindness in his voice. "Give me everything."
Rey spits in his face. "Never," she growls, even as tears blur her vision.
The mass of scarred flesh contorts in fury. Reaching up, Snoke drags a hand across his face, wiping away the saliva - and raking the skin to shreds. Bile rises in Rey's throat at the sight. The mess of torn flesh and blood towers over her, and what is left of the mouth opens wide.
Snoke howls.
Then the nails begin to sprout and grow, lengthening into talons on each hand. He buries them into her body, ripping her clothing and opening her torso wide. Screaming, Rey looks down. Then she chokes, retching with horror.
Where her insides should be, raw and bloody and beating, there are wires, gears, metallic parts like the ones she scavenged for years. Rey gasps. They're moving.
Then she watches, helpless, as Snoke reaches into her body and yanks out part after part. One by one, they crumble before her eyes into sand. Rey screams until her throat is raw. The bloody maw cackles, its mirth filling the chamber and every part of her consciousness until she goes blind with panic.
She tries to scream again, but her mouth fills with sand. She's drowning in it, her mouth and nose and eyes are full of it, she can't breathe, can only listen to the cackling as the world goes dark...
Rey jolted awake, choking back a cry. For a moment, all was darkness.
Where am I, where am I, where -
Then she remembered. The battle on Crait. Rescuing what was left of the Resistance - a dangerously low number. Reuniting with Finn at last. Barely registering General Leia Organa's orders: The only thing we can do right now is to head for friendly territory, and keep a low profile. The hyperspace route to the Outer Rim will last more than a few hours, so get some rest, all of you. Handing control of the Millenium Falcon over to Chewbacca. Trying to fight the exhaustion, and finally passing out in the lounge.
On awakening, she had thought for the briefest of moments that she was back in her makeshift AT-AT home on Jakku. That was where she had learned to wake up noiselessly, no matter how bad the nightmare. As a young girl, there was nothing more terrifying than awakening in the dark to the sound of her own screams, echoing endlessly in the AT-AT's metallic hull. On the worst nights, it would feel as though she was still asleep, and had simply wandered into another nightmare. And so she had learned to swallow her screams, lying still in the darkness while the tears streamed down in silence.
No, Rey was no stranger to nightmares. On Jakku, they were mostly comprised of Unkar Plutt, the pangs of starvation, ships that left never to return. In the nights on Ach-To, she'd dreamed of her torture on Starkiller Base. Every night, her mind would be laid bare, a probing finger touching on every memory, every fear. She'd forced herself to grow used to the pain, the disorientation of awakening.
But she'd never had a nightmare like this. Then again, this was the first time she had slept since...since landing on the Supremacy. Since her failure to turn Ben Solo to the light. Since Snoke.
It felt as though her consciousness was unravelling, just as it had in that red throne room. She found that she was shaking.
Come on, Rey, she chided herself fiercely. It's just another bloody nightmare.
After an eternity, her breathing slowed to normal. The darkness neutralized until she was aware of the dim glow from an old lantern in the corner. She sat up, huddled in her rough cloak. In the flickering light, she could count all that was left of the Resistance, sprawled across the Falcon's deck like so many odds and ends. There was the limp figure of the girl she had seen for the first time today - Rose, Finn had called her - curled in the only bunk. Finn himself was snoring on the floor beside her, still propped up in a sitting position.
Rey felt a tiny smile tug briefly at her lips. Who would have thought that the most loyal, selfless person she knew had come from the ranks of the greatest evil in the galaxy. But this thought brought her back to Ben. His rejection of the Light for power. And the image of Snoke's body, reassembling itself from the throne room floor and limping towards her...
Stop. She shook herself awake. She'd almost nodded off again. Sighing, she hugged her knees against her chest. If nothing else, her experiences of the past few weeks had taught her to fear sleep more than anything she could ever face with her waking eyes.
Just when she thought she had to either scream or cry, the lantern flickered brightly, momentarily illuminating the opposite corner of the Falcon's lounge. In the light, Rey saw General Leia Organa sitting wide awake on the end of the bench where the dejarik table sat. At her feet, BB-8 sat dormant on his charging pad, cushioned on either side by a nest of porgs. To her right, the entire bench was crammed with the sleeping forms of Resistance officers. They seemed so childlike in sleep; not at all as though the fate of the galaxy rested on their shoulders. Rey realized with a shock that many of them were no older than herself.
She watched as the General of the Resistance stood to tuck a spare blanket over Lieutenant Connix. She brushed a hand against the sleeping girl's hair, and Rey's heart ached hungrily at the sight of that motherly touch.
Suddenly, as though sensing her gaze, Leia turned and saw her. "Rey." She smiled faintly. "Can't sleep?"
Rey shook her head numbly.
The older woman seemed to understand. "Nightmares?"
Rey nodded.
After a moment, Leia beckoned her over. Gingerly, Rey stood and stepped painstakingly between the sleeping forms. She just barely missed stepping on an officer's hand.
When she finally reached the other end of the lounge, Leia made room for her on the bench, offering her a carafe of some amber liquid. Gratefully, Rey took a generous gulp - only to splutter as whiskey burned down her throat. Leia stifled a laugh at her sheepish expression.
"Not much of a drinker, are you, Scavenger?"
Rey laughed a little, too. "No - water was always the main priority on Jakku. But I didn't expect you to be one - um..." she realized how rude that might sound. "Sorry."
But the General waved off her concern. "Heaven knows, I probably should give it a shot, considering what I've got to put up with. But this stuff" - she tapped the bottle - "doesn't make for a clear head, I'll tell you that. No, I found it in one of the many hidden compartments on this piece of junk. I haven't stepped foot in here for years, but I'll never forget where Han kept the whiskey."
Rey smiled, knowing Leia was trying to cheer her up with light talk. But she could sense the sorrow running through the older woman like a current, flowing beneath a thin veneer of ice that could shatter at any moment. Seeing such fragility in the General's eyes made Rey uneasy, so she tried to keep up the chatter. Perhaps distraction really was the only cure for sorrow like this.
"Where's Chewie?" she asked, quickly.
Leia tilted her chin in the direction of the cockpit. "Seems he can't get much sleep, either. He shooed me back here, probably thought I should rest. You know, ever since he met you he's been more protective. When you left for Ach-To, I asked him to look after you. But I hardly needed to." She smiled softly at Rey. "Han must have really vouched for you. Chewie doesn't trust strangers so easily."
Rey swallowed. "He - Han - offered me a job. Working on the Falcon." The words felt clumsy and small. Inadequate. Slowly, haltingly, she said what she really meant. "I miss him. I miss Luke. I know I only knew them for a matter of days. But...they felt like family."
Leia took Rey's hand in hers. Her eyes were full. The ice had melted.
"No one's ever really gone," she said softly. It sounded as though she was echoing someone else. But the words felt right.
They sat like that for a long moment, lost in thought. The only sounds were the hum of the Falcon's engines, and Finn's quiet snoring. Then Leia spoke.
"It's Snoke, isn't it."
Rey's head snapped up, startled. Cold nails dragging down the side of her face, digging into her brains...
"What do you mean?" she managed.
"In your nightmares."
Rey breathed a shuddering sigh. "How did you know?"
The General's eyes were faraway and sad. "Years ago, a young man - a boy, really - came to me shaken with dreams of a creature twisted by the Dark Side. I dismissed it as a child's fear, nothing more. I should have listened to him."
"Ben?" It was barely a whisper.
Leia didn't have to answer; Rey knew. For a moment, watching the shadows play across her face, Rey wondered how many sorrows this woman had endured in her lifetime. A son's betrayal, the deaths of those she loved best in the universe... And yet, Rey sensed there was something more. That's none of my business. But she wasn't left to wonder for long.
"I dream too, you know." Leia's eyes were suddenly old. "I was around your age, I suppose, when I first started doing real work for the Rebellion. One day, the inevitable happened. I was captured."
Rey's eyes were wide. "By the Empire?"
"By Darth Vader himself. I was tortured, of course." She gave a dry, grim laugh. "There's always that hope, that foolish belief that it's something that happens to other people. Not you. But next thing you know, it's your turn."
"Did - did he see into your mind?" Rey asked, hesitantly.
"He tried. Oh, he tried. And it nearly broke me. I thought I was going to go mad, thrashing on the outside for all I was worth, all while that cold, invisible knife sliced clear into my memory, dragging out all the things I swore I'd never tell another soul..." She trailed off, and Rey squeezed her hand. The gesture felt so small, so useless against such terror; but Leia seemed genuinely comforted by it.
"Does it get better over the years? The nightmares?" Rey felt almost cowardly for asking it of this strong, brave woman in front of her. But her throat was closing up, at the thought of having to spend years - perhaps the rest of her life - living under these night terrors.
"No," Leia answered. Rey's shoulders sagged in disappointment. "But," Leia continued, "I've learned how to deal with them in my own way. The dreams don't get better. You do."
"How? How?" Rey pleaded.
Leia leaned over, using her thumb to wipe away a tear Rey hadn't even realized she'd let fall.
"Well," she said, "first you cry a little. Crying's good. Then you close your eyes."
Rey did.
"Now, breathe. Just breathe. And now, reach out."
Rey opened her eyes in surprise. "That's just what Master Luke said."
Leia chuckled. "Well, where'd you think I learned this from? I never became a Jedi, but Luke taught me some of what he knew. He tried to teach Han too. You can imagine how that went."
Rey smiled. "My first time, I actually reached out a hand, like this. I could've sworn I felt the Force, brushing against my fingertips. Turns out it was Luke with a piece of seaweed."
Leia laughed then, more heartily than Rey had ever heard her laugh. It was a beautiful sound.
"That sounds like Luke." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I was never that quick of a student, either. Nor a great teacher. But I suppose I'll give it a go."
Again, the two of them joined hands. Eyes closed, they breathed in tandem. When she finally reached out, Rey could feel the strength flowing from Leia. She drew from it, from years of pain and joy and care and laughter. Her fear washed away, and all she felt was the balance. The Force.
Suddenly, she was aware of a new presence at her side, so strong that she could almost feel another set of hands joined with her's and Leia's. Her eyes snapped open. "Luke?"
Leia nodded. "I feel it too."
No one's ever really gone.
They closed their eyes again, and for a moment the nightmares were forgotten, and they were all together, just the three of them.
A/N: Soooooooo...who else saw the Last Jedi and freaking LOVED IT?! CAUSE I DID?! BEST 2.5 HOURS OF MY LIFE?!
You've probably noticed that this fic is labelled "Part I". I'm hoping to post a "Part II" that follows a budding post-TLJ Poe and Rey relationship, based off of their shared experiences of mind-invasion. Hope to have that up sometime soon...I've got a million ideas for TLJ fanfics, highly doubt all of them will make it to paper. If I've accomplished anything in this life, it's the confirmation that I am the laziest, slowest writer ever. So sorry about that...and sorry to anyone and everyone following my WW fic. I know it's been a long while since I last posted. But never fear, 2018 is a new year, and I seriously plan to improve my writing habits.
In the meantime, thanks for your patience...and for reading this! Please review, or feel free to just rant in the comment section about how FANTASTIC the latest Star Wars is. I need more people to fangirl with, seriously...