The Warrior Chronicles:
Alter Ending Edition
Episode 6
Michael Buffer: For the millions in attendance, and the one person watching at home. . . ladies and
gentlemen. . . . . . . . . . . . . LET'S GET READY TO FALL ASLEEP!!!
Introducing first, from parts unknown, weighing in at 280 pounds, representing the "Golden"
Hulkamaniacs, the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!!
And now, introducing wrestling's most pathetic entity, from Chihuahua, Mexico; Míl Máscares!!!!
Mìl Màscares: Odalé. . . . . . .árriba El Villáno!!!
the bell sounds
Tony Shavoni: The Warrior has Máscares in a headlock, Máscares reverses it. . .OH MY!!! Máscares just
got slammed right on his head!
Jim Ross: Somebody stop this!!! Please! Wait a minute, here comes. . . . . . .that old man from
Kickboxer!!!
Old man from Kickboxer movie: Pack your bags and leave!
Warrior impersonating Jean Claude Van Dame: What, you want me to do it like this!!!
Bobby Henan: The Warrior just DDT'ed the old man! Now Hogan's coming out!
Hogan: Sorry Warrior, but it's time for you to face facts. . . .You can NEVER be the Hulkster! And only
the Hulkster is worthy to be in a match like this!!!
Shavoni: I guess this means that the Warrior is out and Hogan is in! I knew he couldn't be trusted! Wait a
minute, is that who I think it is Jim?
Jim Ross: Business is sure about to pick up right about now. Here comes OLDBERG (Jake Roberts)
Oldberg: Who's Next!?!?!?
ME!
Henan: It's Villáno 45!
Oldberg: I'm not afraid of you! I can take you!
Jim Ross: Look! Oldberg is getting beat by a Villáno! I can't believe this!
Reader: What the hell happened to the match?
Jim Ross: Well, it looks like the Warrior is unable to continue, so Hogan is taking his place. . . . . . .and
he's LOSING! Míl Máscares has Hogan in his patented Taco Bell Brainlock!
lights go out and music plays
Jim Ross: It's it's Kane, it's Kane! Wait a minute, that's not Kane, that's the Macho Man trying to
impersonate Kane!
Macho Man: Oops, wrong suit! Damn you, Alzheimer's!!
Henan: It looks as if Macho is going down. . . FAST. Look, here comes Sting! Sting has arrived! Wait
that's Rick Flair!
Ric Flair: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am the Nature Boy! All you friggin people need to respect me!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cough, cough.
Henan: Oh my GOD, Flair has dropped dead! Flair's dead! Somebody get the Undertaker!
lights go out and music plays
Jim Ross: No, No, not THAT Undertaker! Oh my, we may see a sacrifice! Wait a minute, the Warrior's
getting to his feet. It looks like he's got. . . . .yes! HE HAS Míl Máscares!! YES! CHOKE SLAM! One.
. . .Two. . . . .What the hell is that!?!
18-wheeler appears in entranceway
Jim Ross: It's the Rattlesnake! He's come to kick some ass! Wait. . . . . .that's Hacksaw Jim Duggan with
a shaved head! What in the f@!k is he doin!?!?!?!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Henan: He just stunned the Warrior! He's got Míl Máscares! Stunner! Stunner on Míl Máscares! One. . .
. .Two. . . . . . Here comes Doug Flutie!
Doug Flutie: 10-10-220 for life bitch!!
Shavoni: Doug Flutie just dropkicked Duggan! It's pure chaos in here! Piper's in the ring. . . . . .and he's
with the Undrtaker they have Flair! What the hell is going on!?!?
Henan: Well it looks as if the Undertaker has made a deal with Piper. I don't know just what that deal is,
but that is what it seems.
Undertaker: Piper, you know what to do!
Roddy Piper: Right, NAHARA, UMBé LOSHOA, KOMBLé NAHARA, UMLOMBE, SHOMBE,
JUMBOMBE, NAHARA.
Henan: Piper is chanting some kind of spell! What the hell!?!?! Flair is RISING!!! He's beating the hell
out of Míl Máscares! What the hell? Piper and the Undertaker are leaving the ring. There's smoke
EVERYWHERE!!
after a few moments, the smoke clears
Shavoni: Where did everyone go? The Warrior, Flair, and Míl Máscares are in the ring, and Piper and the
Undertaker are on the outside, but where's everyone else!?!?!
Jim Ross: LOOK! Flair's got both Míl Máscares AND the Warrior up in the air! DOUBLE PILE
DRIVER!!!! One. . . . . . .Two. . . . . . . . Three!!!!!! It's over!! It's over! Flair wins again!!!
Henan: Does this mean that Flair, Piper, and the Undertaker have made some kind of alliance?
Shavoni: Look! Here comes Mean Gene!
Mean Gene: Folks, I'm gonna try to get a word with these three. . .
Gentlemen, would you care to shed some light on my buttcheeks, I mean this subject?
Undertaker: Well Gene, I have once again formed the MINISTRY OF DARKNESS. Together, the three
of us will grow and expand into three fat, old, worthless wrestlers trying to scare people!
Mean Gene: So you have a contract with WCW?
Undertaker: Wait, I have to have a contract?
NEVERMIND!
Mean Gene: Wait folks, we have some breaking news in the back. It seems that a certain wrestler who's
affiliated with another organization is trying to make his way to the ring.
Jim Ross: HERE HE COMES!!!!!! IT'S GORILLA MONSOON!!!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: I challenge you three to a match!
Roddy Piper: And just how do you expect to beat the three of us!?!?
Monsoon: With them!!!!!
Jim Ross: HERE COMES BOB BACKLUND AND PAT PATTERSON!!!!!!
Ric Flair: If you want it, you got it!! At the next pay-per-view!!!
Mean Gene: Folks, thing are starting to heat up here! We're outta time! We'll see you next time (if there
is one)
Remember, for a good time, I mean, for all the latest wrestling news, including the story behind Oldberg's
mysterious reappearance! We gotta go! See you next time!!
Okay, are we clear? Good. I'm outta here! I have a date with Mike Tenay!
will the Ministry be able to stop the "Senior Citizens'" trio? Only time will tell!
THE END!
Alter Ending Edition
Episode 6
Michael Buffer: For the millions in attendance, and the one person watching at home. . . ladies and
gentlemen. . . . . . . . . . . . . LET'S GET READY TO FALL ASLEEP!!!
Introducing first, from parts unknown, weighing in at 280 pounds, representing the "Golden"
Hulkamaniacs, the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!!
And now, introducing wrestling's most pathetic entity, from Chihuahua, Mexico; Míl Máscares!!!!
Mìl Màscares: Odalé. . . . . . .árriba El Villáno!!!
the bell sounds
Tony Shavoni: The Warrior has Máscares in a headlock, Máscares reverses it. . .OH MY!!! Máscares just
got slammed right on his head!
Jim Ross: Somebody stop this!!! Please! Wait a minute, here comes. . . . . . .that old man from
Kickboxer!!!
Old man from Kickboxer movie: Pack your bags and leave!
Warrior impersonating Jean Claude Van Dame: What, you want me to do it like this!!!
Bobby Henan: The Warrior just DDT'ed the old man! Now Hogan's coming out!
Hogan: Sorry Warrior, but it's time for you to face facts. . . .You can NEVER be the Hulkster! And only
the Hulkster is worthy to be in a match like this!!!
Shavoni: I guess this means that the Warrior is out and Hogan is in! I knew he couldn't be trusted! Wait a
minute, is that who I think it is Jim?
Jim Ross: Business is sure about to pick up right about now. Here comes OLDBERG (Jake Roberts)
Oldberg: Who's Next!?!?!?
ME!
Henan: It's Villáno 45!
Oldberg: I'm not afraid of you! I can take you!
Jim Ross: Look! Oldberg is getting beat by a Villáno! I can't believe this!
Reader: What the hell happened to the match?
Jim Ross: Well, it looks like the Warrior is unable to continue, so Hogan is taking his place. . . . . . .and
he's LOSING! Míl Máscares has Hogan in his patented Taco Bell Brainlock!
lights go out and music plays
Jim Ross: It's it's Kane, it's Kane! Wait a minute, that's not Kane, that's the Macho Man trying to
impersonate Kane!
Macho Man: Oops, wrong suit! Damn you, Alzheimer's!!
Henan: It looks as if Macho is going down. . . FAST. Look, here comes Sting! Sting has arrived! Wait
that's Rick Flair!
Ric Flair: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I am the Nature Boy! All you friggin people need to respect me!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cough, cough.
Henan: Oh my GOD, Flair has dropped dead! Flair's dead! Somebody get the Undertaker!
lights go out and music plays
Jim Ross: No, No, not THAT Undertaker! Oh my, we may see a sacrifice! Wait a minute, the Warrior's
getting to his feet. It looks like he's got. . . . .yes! HE HAS Míl Máscares!! YES! CHOKE SLAM! One.
. . .Two. . . . .What the hell is that!?!
18-wheeler appears in entranceway
Jim Ross: It's the Rattlesnake! He's come to kick some ass! Wait. . . . . .that's Hacksaw Jim Duggan with
a shaved head! What in the f@!k is he doin!?!?!?!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Henan: He just stunned the Warrior! He's got Míl Máscares! Stunner! Stunner on Míl Máscares! One. . .
. .Two. . . . . . Here comes Doug Flutie!
Doug Flutie: 10-10-220 for life bitch!!
Shavoni: Doug Flutie just dropkicked Duggan! It's pure chaos in here! Piper's in the ring. . . . . .and he's
with the Undrtaker they have Flair! What the hell is going on!?!?
Henan: Well it looks as if the Undertaker has made a deal with Piper. I don't know just what that deal is,
but that is what it seems.
Undertaker: Piper, you know what to do!
Roddy Piper: Right, NAHARA, UMBé LOSHOA, KOMBLé NAHARA, UMLOMBE, SHOMBE,
JUMBOMBE, NAHARA.
Henan: Piper is chanting some kind of spell! What the hell!?!?! Flair is RISING!!! He's beating the hell
out of Míl Máscares! What the hell? Piper and the Undertaker are leaving the ring. There's smoke
EVERYWHERE!!
after a few moments, the smoke clears
Shavoni: Where did everyone go? The Warrior, Flair, and Míl Máscares are in the ring, and Piper and the
Undertaker are on the outside, but where's everyone else!?!?!
Jim Ross: LOOK! Flair's got both Míl Máscares AND the Warrior up in the air! DOUBLE PILE
DRIVER!!!! One. . . . . . .Two. . . . . . . . Three!!!!!! It's over!! It's over! Flair wins again!!!
Henan: Does this mean that Flair, Piper, and the Undertaker have made some kind of alliance?
Shavoni: Look! Here comes Mean Gene!
Mean Gene: Folks, I'm gonna try to get a word with these three. . .
Gentlemen, would you care to shed some light on my buttcheeks, I mean this subject?
Undertaker: Well Gene, I have once again formed the MINISTRY OF DARKNESS. Together, the three
of us will grow and expand into three fat, old, worthless wrestlers trying to scare people!
Mean Gene: So you have a contract with WCW?
Undertaker: Wait, I have to have a contract?
NEVERMIND!
Mean Gene: Wait folks, we have some breaking news in the back. It seems that a certain wrestler who's
affiliated with another organization is trying to make his way to the ring.
Jim Ross: HERE HE COMES!!!!!! IT'S GORILLA MONSOON!!!!!
Gorilla Monsoon: I challenge you three to a match!
Roddy Piper: And just how do you expect to beat the three of us!?!?
Monsoon: With them!!!!!
Jim Ross: HERE COMES BOB BACKLUND AND PAT PATTERSON!!!!!!
Ric Flair: If you want it, you got it!! At the next pay-per-view!!!
Mean Gene: Folks, thing are starting to heat up here! We're outta time! We'll see you next time (if there
is one)
Remember, for a good time, I mean, for all the latest wrestling news, including the story behind Oldberg's
mysterious reappearance! We gotta go! See you next time!!
Okay, are we clear? Good. I'm outta here! I have a date with Mike Tenay!
will the Ministry be able to stop the "Senior Citizens'" trio? Only time will tell!
THE END!