Kiss Her Once For Me – A House MD Christmas Story
A/N: Hey Kiddos! I've been gone from here for far too long! I'm in the Christmas spirit, I got the tree on, it's snowing, and I have the carols blasting. I have the writing bug tonight so I'm going to crank out a House Christmas Oneshot. Unfortunately I feel as though I'm going to be copying ATD because I want to do a Secret Santa fic, but mine is going to go a little different so I don't feel AS guilty as I could haha! Like always I own nothing, not even the title. Bonus points to anyone who knows what song it comes from, even BIGGER bonus points to anyone who figures out what version I was listening to which sparked the title idea!
Wilson had finally had enough of his friend's avoidance of one another. In the last few months things between Cuddy and House had been tense at best. Wilson was sick of it. It was blatantly obvious that they wanted each other. However, they were both far to scared to go after each other and needed a little budge from their "Fairy God-Wilson". With the holidays approaching he knew exactly what he was going to do.
He decided to orchestrate a Secret Santa exchange between Himself, House, Cuddy, The Fellows, and of course Chase and Cameron even if they had moved on to different departments. Wilson's plan was so simple yet so genius. He would have three separate bags full of names. One would contain his own name, Chase, Cameron, Foreman, Kutner, Taub, Thirteen, and the cute nurse on his floor that he was hoping to up his chances with. Another bag would contain slips of paper with only House's name on them and the third bag would contain slips of paper with only Cuddy's name on them. He would take the "House" bag to Cuddy, the "Cuddy" bag to House and use the other bag for everyone else. It was so simple that it could actually work. Hopefully getting House to participate wouldn't be too much of a production though.
The fellows loved the idea of Secret Santa, Kutner especially. Wilson was able to pass out their slips of paper when House wasn't around. Wilson wanted to get House alone to coerce him into participating. Cuddy was immediately sold on the idea and took the bait. She frowned slightly when she opened her slip of paper. Wilson asked her nonchalantly if something was wrong. Cuddy just sighed heavily and shook her head before going back to he work. Wilson grinned inwardly and headed back to his office to retrieve the other bag before heading back to House's office. He found House lounging in his chair with his eyes shut. House didn't move when Wilson entered but he knew House was awake.
"House it's your turn to draw a name for the Secret Santa." Wilson told him. House replied, "Sleeping, sorry can't hear what you're saying. Try again later. Better yet, don't." Wilson rolled his eyes. "Come on House, we need an even number of people to participate." House popped his eyes open and sat up a little straighter in his chair. "Then tell someone else they can't participate, I mean who all is in on this crap anyway?" Wilson knew he would be hooked soon enough so he played along. "Chase and Cameron, Taub, Kutner, Me, Thirteen, Foreman, Cuddy, and the new nurse on our floor." House smirked. "Kick out the nurse, face it Wilson you don't have a shot." Wilson's face fell. "She's new, I thought it would make her feel welcome. Come on House just participate. Look if you can get Kutner you can go all 'Scrooge' on him and ruin his Holiday spirit. If you get Thirteen you can buy her lesbian things, you can get Foreman some really awful racial things, you can get Taub some very tiny things, or if you get Chase you can get him something that makes fun of Australia. Just do it House, it allows you to wreak havoc on someone, something you love."
Wilson watched House process and ponder this new little "game". Finally he looked up at Wilson, moved his hand as if he was flagging a plane down on the runway and said "Gimme". Wilson watched straight-faced as House reached into the bag and pulled out a slip of paper. His face was unreadable. House stood up from the chair and grabbed his cane from where it was leaning against the wall and shoved the scrap of paper in his pocket. "Gotta start shopping for this before they run out of what I want to get. How many days are we buying gifts?" Wilson could hardly contain his glee as he told House they were exchanging presents for 5 days, one every day next week. Friday there will be two presents exchanged one regularly throughout the day and at five o'clock on Friday they would all meet in the Lounge and reveal themselves. House nodded and headed out of his office. Wilson just grinned from ear to ear; his plan had been set in motion. He didn't even care if House got Cuddy inappropriate underwear or handcuffs just as long as he got her SOMETHING.
The weekend passed far too slowly for Wilson. He arrived at work on Monday with his Secret Santa gift in tow (He had gotten Cameron, NOT Nurse Amy, leave it to Wilson to have his own little game backfire), a small box of chocolate. When he walked into his office a small present awaited him on his desk. It was a small figurine of Charlie Brown and his pathetic looking Christmas tree. How did someone know Peanuts Christmas was his favorite Christmas movie? Foreman, Chase or Cameron must be his Secret Santa. Wilson decided to swing down to the locker room in the ER and drop off Cameron's chocolate. On his way back up to the Oncology wing he stopped in to Cuddy's to office to see if Scrooge actually followed up on his promise to participate.
"Hello Cuddy, how are you today?" Wilson asked poking his head into Cuddy's office. She looked up startled. She was blushing slightly. Wilson called her on it. "Cuddy are you blushing AND smiling? What's got you looking like that?" Cuddy looked as though she was trying to suppress her smile but it wasn't working. "Nothing just my Secret Santa gift. Someone got me my favorite wine and these two beautiful etched wine glasses. They have silhouettes of Belle and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on them. That's my favorite movie. How thoughtful. Someone did their homework for their Secret Santa gift I guess." Wilson smiled brightly. "Wow Cuddy someone must like you a whole lot, see you later." Wilson retreated smiling. House had done good, he was a bigger softie than Wilson thought possible. Unfortunately, Wilson was too happy to notice the somewhat longing look Cuddy gave him as he left and the new blush that rose to her cheeks.
Wilson then went to check on House. "Hey House, got a new case yet today?" Wilson said walking nonchalantly into House's office. Wilson didn't notice that House was sitting, feet propped up on the desk, with earphones in his ears. Wilson walked over and tapped House on the shoulder. "What are you doing?" Wilson asked as House removed the ear buds. "Oh I was preforming surgery." House said in his usual sarcastic way. Wilson gave him a 'not in the mood' look and House replied with "Listening to my Secret Santa gift. I got a blues CD and some guitar picks." Wilson decided it wasn't a bad present for the first day of Secret Santa, his to Cuddy was more thoughtful but this wasn't bad. "What CD did you get?" House had to remove his ear buds yet again and looked up at Wilson in annoyance. "I've never heard of him before, his name is Hugh Laurie. His stuff isn't bad. Now if you'll excuse me I have the very important task of avoiding work to do." House put the ear buds back in his ears and Wilson showed himself out of the office.
Wilson got more excited as the week went on for many reasons. Although he had no idea what to get Cameron (And sufficed with a nice scarf, a DVD of You've Got Mail, A bottle of pink nail polish and a small teddy bear from the gift shop) the gifts he received throughout the week were cute and charming. On Tuesday he received a very nice red striped tie, which he wore to work Wednesday and was complemented on by many of the nurses. On Wednesday he received a small book of oncologist "jokes". The front cover read "Quotes, Notes, and Jokes to make the average Oncologist's day a little lighter." On Thursday he received a Kenny G Christmas CD, amazed that someone knew he liked to listen to Kenny G. His bet was on Foreman, they had worked together the longest aside from him and House, but he knew House was not his Secret Santa. Finally on Friday Wilson walked in to his office to see a giant Reese's Peanut Butter Cup sitting on his desk. His favorite candy. His Secret Santa was definitely Foreman.
Wilson was able to "stop in" to Cuddy's office every day that week and she would always gush to him about the present her Secret Santa got her. Monday was the glasses and wine, Tuesday was a two disc mix tape of sensual Christmas songs (Starting with Santa Baby and ending with the Lady Antebellum version of Baby, It's Cold Outside). Wednesday was a rather large basket filled with everything needed to make spaghetti with homemade sauce and two large Christmas scented candles. Thursday was a little black dress and a Victoria's Secret gift card (expertly labeled 'Before' and 'After'). Friday's gift was simple, a sprig of mistletoe. Wilson was impressed by the thought House put into his gifts. He had no idea House could be such a…. well, such a romantic. Wilson never put the pieces together that Cuddy thought her Secret Santa was someone else.
House's gifts were equally nice. Following the Blues CD and guitar picks, House received a new bottle of the cologne he usually wore, a bottle of his favorite scotch, a box of condoms (to which he replied "Well someone in this hospital at least knows what I like") and finally a few mint condition Jazz records. Wilson went back to his office and tried to concentrate on work. Only a few hours left until the big reveal. Wilson saw his patients, did a little bit of clinic duty, and eventually it was five o'clock. Wilson practically sprinted to the lounge to find his friends already sitting there waiting.
To get things underway, Wilson revealed himself to Cameron first. He had got her a nice sweater as her final gift. She thanked him with a hug and a small peck on the cheek. Kutner volunteered to go next and presented Foreman with his present: a new coffee mug. Apparently Kutner had broken Foreman's old mug, so he got him a new one with the words "Property of Eric Foreman" printed on the front. Foreman presented his gift to Taub next, some new edition of a video game they liked to play together. Taub went next and gave his gift to Chase. He had gotten Chase a gift certificate to some fancy restaurant and told him it was so he and Cameron could go an a nice date. Both Chase and Cameron thanked Taub and Cameron went next, handing an envelope over to Thirteen which contained a gift certificate good for one free "girls day" at a local spa. Chase went next and gave Kutner a super soaker, two cans of silly string and a box of candy canes. He told Kutner to 'go nuts' preferably in House's office.
Wilson looked over toward House and Cuddy at this point. Cuddy's face looked crestfallen, as if she had expected someone else to be her Secret Santa. House looked nervous. They were both staring at their shoes, House was fidgeting in his seat. After taking a deep breath House stood up and walked over so he was standing in front of Cuddy. House produced an envelope from the breast pocket of his blazer, dropped it in her lap and walked out. Everyone watched him leave but no one stopped him. Cuddy looked completely shocked. She opened the envelope and after a few seconds she left as well. Thirteen, in trying to release the awkwardness of the moment, leaned over and placed a box in Nurse Amy's lap. The box contained a gift set of Nurse Amy's favorite perfume. Finally, Nurse Amy stood up and walked towards Wilson. She handed him an envelope and said "I just noticed you now have two tickets to a play tonight? Mind if I join you?" Wilson knew what 'going to a play' was code for so he quickly ripped open the envelope and handed one of the tickets back to Amy. It had been a good night for all, or so it seemed.
Outside of the lounge, which was now filled with joyful talking and laughing, House was stalking towards the exit as fast as his crippled legs would carry him. Unfortunately cripples don't walk as fast as determined Dean's of Medicine, even if said Dean's of Medicine are wearing stilettos. "House, you were my Secret Santa?" Cuddy asked puzzled. House turned around, hurt and anger in his eyes and a snarl on his lips. "Yes, I'm sure you can't wait to use all of your gifts with Wilson so why don't you go back in there and start working your Cuddy charm on him." House turned to leave again but Cuddy reached out and touched his arm, he tried to pull away but she tightened her grip. "Can we at least talk about this?" She pleaded with him. "It's okay Cuddy, your looks in there spoke volumes." House said, still struggling to leave. "Talk with me for five minutes and I'll let you out of two weeks clinic duty." Cuddy sputtered out that sentence in pure desperation. "Fine" House said limping off towards her office.
Cuddy followed House in and shut the door. "House I didn't have any idea. I didn't know you could be so… so… romantic." Cuddy felt ashamed. She made House feel like crap all because she made an assumption. Cuddy knows what happens when you assume things, and yet she did it anyway. All along she had wished that it would be House who had done all of these nice things for her, she just didn't think he had it in him and assumed the Secret Santa had to have been Wilson. "House, I didn't mean to make you feel unappreciated." House turned to look at Cuddy and snarled in her direction. "You think I feel unappreciated? How about more like I just got trampled to death by a heard of wild bulls. I laid it all out there for you Cuddy. I set up the perfect date for us. Did you even read the card? I was going to come to your place, cook you dinner, pour you wine, I bought you a dress. I wanted you to know that you were special, I wanted you to know that for all the times I can be a real jerk, I can also do nice things for you. I've made you life hell for the last few months and this was my way of apologizing. You know I don't do romanticism well, this was the best I could do, and you wished it was somebody else." House looked down, seemingly he had run out of things to say.
Cuddy took a few steps closer to him, he was leaning up against her desk. Lying on the desk was the mistletoe from earlier. She grabbed it and held it up above her head. House looked at her perplexed but didn't move in to kiss her. Cuddy, becoming impatient, leaned up and kissed House on the mouth. As the kiss deepened Cuddy ended up dropping the mistletoe. When they finally came up for air neither one of them knew what to say. Cuddy spoke up first. "I never wanted it to be someone else, I just didn't know you could be so romantic. I made the face I did back there because once I knew my secret Santa couldn't be Wilson I got worried that it was Kutner or Taub and I didn't know how to handle that. Once I realized it was you, I got a little scared. Let's face it House, we've never been the type to be open and honest or raw with our feelings. I reacted poorly, but I want this, I want this so much." House gently cupped her cheek and smiled down at her. "I'll be at your place tonight at seven thirty. Wear the black dress. If you leave now you'll have enough time to swing past Victoria's secret and put the gift card to good use."
Cuddy laughed a throaty laugh. She leaned up to kiss him once more, finally believing in Christmas miracles.
A/N: Well everyone, that's a wrap. I'm accepting Christmas Presents in the form of reviews! You know how much I love them! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!