Neil hated Bring Your Child to Work Day. It wasn't anything the children did-in fact, there weren't any children in the first place. The staff as SigCorp was small, and they either didn't have children or their children were adults. It was the principle of the thing-who wanted a bunch of kids running around, ruining concentration and getting into trouble? Talk about a bad idea.
So the last thing Neil expected was to see Eva standing at the vending machine with a child.
It was even more surprising when he realized it wasn't even Bring Your Child to Work Day.
"Whoa, Eva, what's with the kid?"
Eva turned away from the machine. "Oh. Hey, Neil." She put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I've mentioned my nephew Jamie before, right?"
The boy had thick, curly hair and big brown eyes. He waved at Neil. "Hello."
"It's his birthday," Eva continued. "So his parents thought he should spend the day with me since he always wants to hear about Sigmund Corp."
Neil noticed that he was wearing a green shirt with a t-rex on it and the words Being 9 is Roarsome! on it in big letters that looked like they were made of stone. Neil adjusted his glasses.
"Uh...great. Not much that goes on here when we don't have a client, but more power to you guys."
Eva turned back to the vending machine. "Well, unlike you Jamie has an attention span that's longer than five seconds-ugh, cucumbers." Eva started hitting against the machine.
"What's wrong? Can got stuck?"
"Yeah, hold on-"
"I got it!"
He pushed Jamie and Eva out of the way.
"Neil," Eva groaned. Neil ignored her and raised his fists.
"WATTS SMASH!"
He slammed his fists against it. The machine made a loud hollow thunk.
"Neil, you're going to have to pay for it if you break it again, you realize that, right?"
"I think the word you're looking for is," he held up a coke can triumphantly, "thank you."
Eva narrowed her eyes and grabbed the can. "That's two."
Neil kept flexing. "You're welcome."
"Come on Jamie, I'll give you a tour," Eva said. She handed him the coke and walked away. Jamie looked at Neil.
"Thank you for the soda, sir," he said. Neil grinned.
"Thanks, kid."
"You're really strong. Can you open this for me?"
Neil raised an eyebrow and grabbed it. "Why certainly. How can I say no to-"
Shhhhhhhhhh!
The moment he popped open the tab, it sprayed in his face. Neil sputtered, dropping the can, and Jamie grabbed it before it hit the ground.
"Thanks for testing it for me!" Jamie said, grinning. He took a sip and ran off to catch up to his aunt. Neil glared at his retreating back, taking off his glasses and wiping them off.
"Bratty kid," Neil grumbled to himself.
Neil decided to let Eva have some space to be Super Aunt of the Year or whatever. He wasn't a fan of kids, and he was way more inclined not to be a fan of Jamie in particular after his stunt with the soda. Let Eva have her tour where she got to show off her job to her nephew and he'd go back to annoying her all day once he left. Eva opened the door to his office.
"Hey, Neil-what are you doing?"
Neil looked up. "I'm playing a video game, what do you think I'm doing?"
"You still play a gameboy advance?"
"When I want to play pokemon yellow I do."
Eva rolled her eyes. "Hey, listen, can you please do me a favor?"
"Since when am I helpful?"
"You're a lab technician. Your entire job is helping me help people."
Neil sighed and paused the game. "Okaaaaaay, what do you want?"
"I need you to watch Jamie."
"What?!"
Eva held up her hands. "Cucumbers, Neil, you sound like I asked you to kill a puppy!"
"I might actually be able to make that fun. Why am I watching your nephew?"
"Ooookay, I'll ignore the fact you apparently think killing puppies could ever be made fun for a second," Eva said. "Traci got into an accident."
"Seriously?" Neil asked, looking up from his game.
"She's fine," Eva assured him, "but she needs me to pick her up. I promise I won't be gone long."
"Why can't you take him with you?"
"Because this is a surprise party, Neil, and I need to drive her back there. If I take Jamie he'll know about the surprise. They're not done setting it up."
"Have Roxie-"
"Asked," Eva answered, "they just had an emergency call. They need to go."
Neil pouted.
"Come on, please?"
"Eva, no offense, but your nephew is an annoying little monster."
Eva's jaw dropped. "You really want to judge someone for being-"
"IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE," Neil interrupted. He put his feet up on his desk. "Ha, beat you to it."
"You met him for literally a minute at most!"
"Yeah. You didn't see what he did for me after I gave him that soda though. Eva, he tricked me into opening it for him just so it'd explode in my face!"
Eva's brow furrowed. "Wait, what did he do?"
Neil relayed what had happened. Eva kept her hands on her hips, tilting her head a little when he finished.
"He really did that?"
"Yes, he did!"
Eva stared at Neil for a beat.
Then she snorted.
"Are you laughing?"
"I-ha-I'm sorry Neil but-ha-you know if it wasn't you it'd be kind of funny."
"If it was done to you I wouldn't laugh."
"Uh, yes you would."
Neil crossed his arms, hunching in his seat. "Whatever. Kid's a monster."
"No, Jamie is my favorite nephew and you are going to watch him while I'm gone."
"Who said?"
"I said."
Eva stared at him.
"No."
She kept staring.
"I said no."
Eva didn't move.
"Okay, okay! Stop yelling at me," Neil grumbled, standing up, "I'll watch the kid."
Eva smiled. Neil was almost stunned to realize that Eva was actually hugging him.
"Thank you, Neil! I don't want to sound desperate but you really are a lifesaver."
"Uh-yeah," Neil answered gruffly, "no prob, bob."
Eva pushed him away. "Wow, you ruined it."
Neil pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "Just tell me where the kid is."
"With Roxie and Rob while they get ready. I have to go. Thanks again!"
"You owe me Eva Rosalene!" Neil shouted after her as she dashed out. He sighed dramatically.
"Man, the things I am willing to do for her…"
He felt his face heat up. He shook his head. Neil was not going to make himself blush. That would just be ridiculous.
Roxie and Rob looked like they were ready to head out by the time Neil walked to their office.
"What took you, Neil? I don't know if you realize this, but our clients can't wait."
"It is a long, dangerous trek down to this office, Rob. Where's Eva's nephew?"
Rob gestured with his head. Behind him, Roxie and Jamie were eating ice cream.
"Neil!" She waved at him. "You're so lucky you get to watch him. Jamie is adorable."
Jamie shrugged humbly, wiping ice cream off his chin. "Thanks again for the ice cream sandwich, Miss Winters."
"Aw, I told you, call me Roxie," she answered pinching his cheek.
"Uh, glad to see you guys are getting along," Neil said, "why don't you take him with you? Having a cute child around might help the family of the patient during a very difficult time-"
"Haha, nice try Neil," Rob said. "You told Eva you'd watch him."
"...Fine. Hand me the child."
"Okie dokie, one Jamie coming up," Roxie pushed him forward. "Don't worry, Neil doesn't bite."
Neil flashed a toothy grin. He hoped Jamie really was nervous. It'd serve him right.
"Well, we got to go," Rob said. "You both have fun. Happy birthday."
"Thank you, sir!"
"Yeah, yeah, very polite," Neil grumbled, "let's move."
He left, pulling Jamie gently by the collar of his shirt. He didn't want to be accused of trying to choke the kid or something.
"I like it here," Jamie stated. "When I went to my mom's job they didn't give us ice cream. Roxie said I can get more from the fridge in the break room if I want."
"Maybe later," Neil said. "Come on."
They stepped back into Neil's office. Neil let go of Jamie's shirt and knelt to be at eye level with him.
"Okay, I have some ground rules," Neil said. "I call these 'Rules for Maintaining Awesomeness.' You see this space?" He gestured vaguely around him. "This is where the awesome happens. If anything messes up the equilibrium of this space, the awesomeness cannot continue. That would not just be a disservice to me, that would be a disservice to the world. The universe. Got that?"
Jamie looked totally unconvinced, but he nodded.
"Rule numero uno for awesomeness-"
"Maintaining awesomeness."
"-no sarcasm. No sass is definitely rule number one. Second rule: you will refer to me as Doctor Watts. Actually, no, the Esteemed Doctor Watts. Just for that soda thing you pulled before. Want to practice that?"
Jamie flattened his mouth into a straight line. "The Esteeeeeeeemed Doctor Watts," he drawled out, in a bad imitation of Neil.
That wasn't even sarcasm. That was just cruel.
"...Rule three, disregard rule two and call me Watts."
"Sure."
"And rule four: you are not to speak to me unless I speak to you. With these rules, we can work together and get through this with our sanity intact. Got that?"
Jamie shrugged.
"Great. Oh, and stay here where I can keep an eye on you."
Neil hopped back into his office chair and started playing on his gameboy. Jamie stood awkwardly in the middle of the room before raising his hand, and Neil heaved a very put upon sigh.
"What?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Eva just said I had to watch you."
"But I'm bored! How do you expect me to just stand here and not do anything on my birthday? I'm gonna tell Aunt Eva that you were a terrible babysitter-"
"Okay! Just stop whining! Hold on."
Neil started rummaging through his drawers. He tossed stuff on the floor of the roof at Jamie's feet. "A stapler, index cards, a pack of gum, and some pens. Go nuts. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a nuzlocke challenge to win. Which required concentration."
Jamie stared at the stuff and sat down. Neil furrowed his brow, focusing all his attention on the game at hand. After a few minutes, he heard a clipping noise like Jamie was using the stapler. He glanced back at him.
"Oh, hey, don't use up all the-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY YU-GI-OH CARDS?!"
"You gave them to me!"
"No! No, I must have accidentally mixed them up with the index cards!" He dropped the gameboy, scrambling onto the ground and grabbing them from Jamie. He looked through the cards that he'd stapled together.
"My...my Ancient Gear Golem...that cost me fifty bucks!" Neil willed his lip not to quiver. "Why would you staple these together? Doesn't your generation still respect card games?"
Jamie shrugged. "I was bored and you told me to 'go nuts,' remember?"
Neil's jaw dropped. He sputtered for a few moments, then took a deep breath. He couldn't have cared less how verbally assaulting a nine year old would have looked to anyone else; but this was Eva's nine year old. He was sure Eva wasn't expecting him to be sitter of the year, but he had to get through this without completely imploding.
"...Okay," he said through gritted teeth, "I understand how that might have been a misunderstanding. Please do not touch my cards again."
"Can I ask you a question then?"
"What?"
"Do you really need to wear those glasses? They make you look like a character on the cartoons I watch sometimes."
Neil turned red. He took his glasses off.
"Okay, what is your problem with me?!" He exclaimed. "First the soda, now my cards, you-you know exactly what you're doing! How come you're a little angel around Eva and Roxie and then you act like this to me?"
"I act like this around Aunt Eva all the time. She just rolls her eyes and thinks it's funny."
Neil had always wondered how Eva-straitlaced, serious Eva-could put up with his antics, but he'd never dared question since he'd never mess with a good thing. He thought that maybe the answer was that she'd had lots of practice.
"Besides," Jamie continued, starting to doodle on his index cards, "you're family."
Neil blinked.
"Uh, family?"
"Sure. You're Aunt Eva's boyfriend."
Neil almost choked on air.
"I-what-that is not-who said?"
"My mom."
Neil paused. He knelt next to him again, grabbing his cheeks.
"What exactly did she say."
Jamie looked mildly confused, but answered. "My mom says that you guys are, but Aunt Eva is afraid of what Mom will think, 'cause Mom thinks you're annoying. So Aunt Eva pretends you're not."
"I knew Traci didn't like me!" Neil said to himself. He stood back up, wiping at his pants. "Why does your mom think that?"
"Because Aunt Eva talks about you all the time. Your grandpa used to take you camping to watch stars and you played Watson in a high school musical. You hate pickled olives but you had to eat them once and she thought it was really funny, but she felt kinda bad afterward-but I'm not supposed to tell you that, so please don't tell her I did."
Neil listened, totally enraptured by every word coming from the nine year old's mouth. "Anything else?"
"Once she was upset so you made her a video game that was really stupid, but it made her feel better. You do lots of dumb stuff to the memory things on the job but she told me it's good to have a partner like you because you'll challenge her on important stuff." Jamie shrugged. "Anyway, you guys spend all your time together and stuff. And my mom doesn't mind! She said that she'd rather Aunt Eva marry someone than end up 'old and alone with nothing but a vegetable garden for company.'"
Neil crossed his arms. "I hate to break the news to you, Jamie, but your aunt and I aren't a thing. It's not true."
"Why not?"
Neil blinked. "What do you mean 'why not?' Because we're just not. That requires more than working together."
"Oh. Okay." Jamie considered it. Neil started to inch back toward his desk.
"But do you want to?"
Neil froze. "Uh...no?"
Jamie looked offended. "Why? Aunt Eva is the best!"
"Of course she is! I'm not insulting her-"
"Do you think she's ugly?"
"Of course I don't! I wear glasses but I'm not frickin' blind!"
"So why not?"
"Because it's not realistic!" Neil threw up his hand. "I mean look, I'd love if we were, but-"
Neil slapped his hands over his mouth.
"So you do like her!" Jamie said, pointing a finger at Neil accusingly. Neil's nostrils flared.
"Why do you care?"
"Because I don't want her to die alone with a vegetable garden either!"
"She's not going to. She's gorgeous and great and she'll find some equally gorgeous rich career driven doctor guy to marry that's not a skinny dweeb she met in high school because her friends thought it was fun to shove him in a locker!"
Neil's eyes widened. Jamie tilted his head a little. After a moment, he grabbed Neil's hand and started to pull him.
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to do what my dad does when I'm upset. Come on!"
Neil unwrapped another ice cream bar, stuffing about half of it in his mouth, chewing, and swallowing before he continued.
"...and she just slapped my hand away. Can you believe that? It was the perfect atmosphere! Beautiful view! The end of a successful mission! And she won't even let me put my hand on her shoulder. She's too outta my league. I'm good as her funny sidekick but I'm never gonna get anywhere else."
Neil had buried that moment down as far as he possibly could. But it had been the culmination of all of the fears he'd had since realizing he'd had a stupid crush on Eva when they were in high school. It wasn't just that Eva would not end up feeling the same way about him-it was that the thought would be so ridiculous to her, that she would reject even the hint of it entirely.
So yeah. Since then Neil preferred to keep their interactions to silly quips and bickering. That was safe territory. Neil huffed, resting his chin on the table in the break room, and Jamie patted his back sympathetically.
"Hey, it's okay," he said. "I think you're cool. Aunt Eva would be lucky to date you."
"You know how we met?" Neil asked. "She was super popular and I was a band geek-I mean she was in band too, but she was cool and in band, she was in jazz band-and she would hang around me to keep her friends from messing with me. They liked to steal my retainer or step on my glasses and whatever, because they were horrible human beings. You know how it is, right?"
"Once a kid poured a soda on my head," Jamie offered.
"Kids can be so cruel!" Neil exclaimed. "But you see? See? It's Stockholm Syndrome. That's all our friendship has been. Stockholm Syndrome."
"What's Stockholm-"
"I HAVE NO SHOT."
"That isn't true."
"How is it not true?"
"Because you don't know what she says about you when you're not around! So I would know better than you do."
"Well then why doesn't she ever tell me any of those nice things?"
Jamie stared at him. "Have you ever told Aunt Eva any of this stuff?"
"...Touche."
Jamie's face screwed up in determination. "I can help you!"
"Oh, of course, I have Cupid on my side," Neil said dryly.
"You can come to my birthday party."
"Your birthday party?"
"Sure. That's step one." Jamie held up a finger. "I call these 'Jamie Rules for Awesomeness.'"
Neil snorted. "That's dumb. Who taught you to do something dumb like that?"
"Anyway, I know I'm going to get a birthday party because I'm nine, I'm not stupid. They're totally throwing me one and that's why Aunt Eva left me with someone who would let me play with staplers instead of taking me with her."
"You're pretty smart, you know that?"
"Thanks!" He grinned. "So just follow my lead. Okay?"
He stuck out his hand. Neil eyed it warily.
"You know what, why the hell not. Not like I have any better plans."
He shook Jamie's hand.
Eva wasn't sure what she expected when she returned to SigCorp.
She thought possibly the building would be a blazing inferno. Or zombies would infest the place. Or at the very least Jamie would be some sort of missing and Neil would be trying to make some excuse to why it wasn't his fault.
What she didn't expect was for everything to be calm. Like nothing was on fire or broken or missing. She walked down the hallway, ears perked for any sign of something amiss.
"No! No! Don't do it!"
"Just try and stop me!"
"Jamie? Neil?"
Eva sprinted down the hallway, practically skidding into Neil's office. "Guys-oh."
"Come on Watts, you got this!"
"Come on, come on, YES! ELITE FOUR BEATEN! NUZLOCKE CHALLENGE COMPLETE!"
"Whooooo!"
Neil and Jamie high fived. "Great job Watts!"
"I told you pikachu's thunderbolt would be enough to take out that Alakazam-oh, hey Eva."
"Aunt Eva!" Jamie jumped up and ran to her. "Watts and I played pokemon and ate ice cream!"
He hugged her around the legs. She ruffled his hair. "That's great, Jamie. So you had fun?"
"Yeah! Watts is the best!"
Watts shrugged. "Aw, it was nothing."
"Didn't spoil your appetite though, right? We have cake for you home."
He shook his head. "Nuh-uh, I'll be fine."
"Alright. Can you head to the car for me?"
"Sure."
Before he left, he went back to Neil and hugged him. "Thanks for hanging out with me Watts," he said, "I wish you could come and have cake with us!"
"Uh...yeah. Thanks, Jamie."
He scampered off. Eva rubbed the back of her neck.
"So...hope he wasn't anymore trouble."
"Trouble? Pffft. Practically an angel."
"I know you didn't really want to watch him and I guess I owe you one."
Neil grinned. "I am definitely going to remember that."
"Don't ruin it," Eva groaned. Neil held up his hands.
"Okay, okay," he said. "I won't. For now."
"Oh my God you're a child. No wonder you got along with Jamie so well."
"...He's a nice kid," Neil answered.
"Ha, yeah. That's why he's my favorite nephew."
Eva started to turn. At the last second, she looked back at him.
"Hey, do you want to come to the party?"
Neil put down his gameboy. "You...want me to come?"
"Sure. I mean," Eva gestured behind her. "I know you've never been a fan of hanging out with my sister-who does not think you're 'annoying' by the way, I still think that's just in your head-but Jamie obviously wants you to be there. And you know, there's going to be a bunch of nine year olds running around and I think it'd be nice to have a sort-of adult around."
"Uh, sure. Okay. I guess I can make time and-"
He almost heard Jamie's voice yelling in his head shut up and don't blow it!
As much as he hated to admit it, Jamie's advice was probably a lot better at this point. Neil closed his mouth for the first time in his life. Eva smirked.
"Well then, you coming?"
Neil wasn't sure how good Jamie's plan was when he didn't even see Eva for most of the party.
They piled in the car, drove to the house-Jamie managed to look sufficiently surprised-and Neil was then invited in by Traci, who managed to look like she didn't mind him there, as long as he 'made himself useful.' That turned into two hours of wrangling children and making sure no one tried to eat the paper plates because there was frosting on them. Neil eventually hid out near the side of the house. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and reached for his pill bottles-
"Watts!"
"WHAT?"
Jamie stopped. "What are those?"
"...Nothing. Vitamins." He swallowed and put them back in his pocket. "That cake for me?"
Jamie looked down at it. "Yeah. It's for Aunt Eva."
"Where is she?"
"On the roof. You can crawl out the window of my room to get there, she goes up there sometimes when she visits to 'think.'"
"Well that's...nice?"
"And you're going up there!"
"Wait I am-"
He shoved the cake in his hands. "Don't worry, I talked to her already!"
"YOU LITTLE BRAT, WHAT DID YOU-"
"Neil?"
"Hiiiiiii!" Neil looked up, smiling at Eva, who was looking down at him from the roof after the hearing the commotion. "I, uh...got cake for you."
"Come up here."
Neil nodded. He went into the house, finding a room with the door slightly ajar and the window slightly open. Neil only had one hand, but he managed to get onto the roof.
"I bring cake!" Neil said triumphantly. He held it out to Eva. She was sitting on the roof, feet dangling over the edge. Neil frowned. "Geez, what's with you?"
"Nothing," Eva said. She shrugged. "I like to think sometimes."
"Can't relate," Neil answered, grinning at her.
"You still think something is wrong with me," Eva stated. She looked at him. "You never insult yourself unless you think I'm really upset about something."
"It's just weird to hide on a roof during your favorite nephew's birthday, that's all."
Eva shrugged. She held out her hand and Neil handed her the cake. She took a bite and considered what Neil said for a moment. Neil snuck a bite for himself.
"So Jamie said Traci thought we've been dating for months," Eva said, not looking at Neil.
Neil coughed and almost choked on his cake. "That little-"
"What?" Eva looked at him.
"...Nothing. He did, huh?"
"I know. He honestly said Traci thinks I've been pretending we're not because she doesn't like you...you were apparently right about that, by the way. Sorry."
"It's, uh, okay."
"But it's ridiculous, right?" Eva chuckled. "Us dating. Just because I talk about you a lot."
Neil forced himself to laugh. "Yeah. Ha. Ridiculous."
"Of course," Eva raised an eyebrow at him, "Jamie also said that you sounded like you wanted me to be your girlfriend."
"Kids, right?"
Eva nodded. "Yeah, Neil. Kids."
She sighed. "I need to get out more if you're literally the only person I talk about though."
He was blowing it. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity. All he had to do was say 'actually, I am secretly sort of kind of in love with you in a veeeeeery small way.' But more suave.
But of course he couldn't make his mouth form the words. But he wasn't about to let a nine year old down on his birthday.
"...Although, is it really ridiculous? If you think about it?"
Eva blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, we make a pretty good team."
"With our work? Sure."
"Not just our work though. Remember when we totally rocked that english project?"
"You mean the one where I wrote everything?"
"Yeah, but who played Gatsby when we had to reenact a scene from the book? It wasn't just writing."
"You mean when you gestured so dramatically you hit Miss Larson in the face with the champagne glass we brought in as a prop?"
"The love of my life was slipping away from me! Excuse me for being a little emotional!"
Eva laughed. "You know why I remember that really well? Because that was right before Jamie was born."
Neil smiled. "Actually, yeah, I remember that."
"We were both in the auditorium after rehearsal for the musical."
"Ah, yes, last big rehearsal before the big night," Neil nodded. "Our director brought munchkins."
Eva rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I said I was worried I'd be a bad aunt because I was terrible with kids-I'm still not great with kids, to be honest. And you said-"
"Oh, oh!" Neil raised his hand. "I remember. I said 'you call me a five year old all the time, and we're friends, so you already know you're good with kids.'"
Eva snapped her fingers. "That was it."
They both smiled.
"...I guess we were always a good team, I guess," Eva admitted. "Even before Sig Corp."
Neil swallowed. "Great. You finally admit it."
"Don't push your luck."
"Hey, maybe we should just marry each other, we're not meeting anyone else at this rate."
Neil's eyes widened when he said it, and Eva stared at him. He watched her face with baited breath as it cycled through surprise, confusion, some sort look he didn't recognize-and then serious again.
"Forty five."
"What?"
"If neither of us are married by forty five or otherwise have partners, we get married for social and tax purposes. It would be practical."
Neil didn't know how to respond. "Uh...that's romantic. Geez, buy a gal dinner first, Rosalene."
"You know what I take it back-"
"No wait I'll do it!"
They stared at each other awkwardly again.
"So...we agree."
"Agreed."
Eva looked away from him. It had started to get dark. It reminded Neil of watching the stars with his grandpa, peaceful yet slightly jittery. Although the jitters weren't from caffeine this time.
"You know," Eva said, "I keep looking up there and wonder how Johnny and River are doing-no matter how many times I do that, I still can't help it before I...remember."
Neil smiled. "Hey," he said.
Eva looked at him.
"Who knows where we'll be when we're forty five," he said. He pointed upward and grinned. "If we need to find each other, how about we meet on the moon?"
Eva narrowed her eyes. "Too soon."
"...Sorry."
Eva looked up at the sky again.
"I appreciate the sentiment though. It's nice."
And when Eva reached out her hand, and when she rested her hand on Neil's shoulder-well, Neil reminded himself to buy Jamie more ice cream.
And he definitely didn't push Eva away.