Author's Note: Attempt 2 at a Victorious fanfic. This story takes place ten years after the gang have graduated. Sam & Cat will be disregarded as part of Cat's past because I've never watched it. A good amount of flashbacks to senior year are planned as well. As always, reviews are much appreciated!

Um, what else? Trigger warnings, I suppose. There will be a character death in this story—right below actually. Starting off on a happy note this time, I am. Drugs, maybe some mentions of self-harm. I don't even know exactly what will happen yet (suggestions welcome!), so there you have it. I don't do graphic sex scenes or smut, so I am going to avoid the M rating here as I do with all my fics. However, this fic, as all my fics, will feature a same-sex romance, so if you can't stomach Jori, turn around now. There will probably be some Brina as well. Perhaps mentions of Cabbie. Again, I'm not sure exactly. Title from the song "Terrible Love" by The National.

And a special thank you to Emma of jadeandtorimakeablog, dontyouwannadance, and freak-thefreak-out (WellWishes) for helping with my brainstorming future career paths for everyone.

It Takes An Ocean Not To Break

Prelude

The first thing he notices is the overwhelming emptiness in the house. The air was strangely cold for mid-July, but it wasn't the air conditioning. The darkness the filled the space was more than just the absence of light. It was palpable and heavy.

He could tell by the way her voice sounded on the phone that something was wrong, very wrong. And it took a fair bit to shake up Jade West so he was wary. But nothing could prepare Andre Harris for what he found in the living room.

Jade sat like a ghost on the edge of her coffee table. The phone was still in her hand. Her eyes were glued to the huge saltwater fish tank on the opposite end of the room. Behind her, on the couch, was her oldest friend (and one of his oldest too), Cat Valentine.

No words of welcome, no bouncing hugs, no giggles, none of the usual Cat greeting. Just her body, lying there on the sofa, empty.

"Paramedics will be here soon," Jade said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Andre realized than that he hadn't moved beyond the threshold leading into the room and forced himself to enter it. He walked over to Cat, checking her pulse, just in case…

He sat down beside Jade on the coffee table.

"That fish there, you see it," she pointed across the room at the tank. "The bright orange one. It's a flame angel. He's killed three clownfish that I've put in. They aren't normally that aggressive. And the clowns don't even do anything. It seems like they try to stay away from him most of the time. But then they go near him once and he just freaks out."

"Jade-"

"But even if they leave him alone, he'll hunt them down anyway. It's a 100 gallon tank. There's plenty of room. I don't know why he has to do that."

"Jade-"

She rose from her spot and walked over to the tank, not looking at him, definitely not looking at Cat. "You have Tori's number, right? You guys are still in touch?"

"Yeah," he replied, furrowing his brow. He and Tori talked on the phone fairly regularly, though it had been a few weeks since their last conversation. "Jade, what happened?"

She didn't answer him, her attention fixed on the fish tank.

He looked back over his shoulder. Cat's lips were blue and she had a look about her that he'd seen enough time to recognize now. The worst thing about Hollywood had proved to be how many times he saw that. Enough times to know it was too late for his friend. Another notch in heroin's belt.

He wanted to ask Jade if she had given it to Cat because he couldn't imagine why Cat would be using. Jade using didn't surprise him. It disappointed him. But it didn't surprise him. She had more success than any of them had after graduating. It had been ten years since they all left the brightly colored halls of Hollywood Arts and she had four Oscar nominations to her name and one win. The dreams of fame he and his friends had in high school had actually come true for Jade West. Theoretically, anyway. Happiness was something the girl clearly still hadn't found.

Cat had been moderately successful. She landed a role on a television show on the Dingo Channel. It was aimed at preteens and ran for four seasons. She did a couple teen flicks and romantic comedies and then that was that. Cat was a free spirit though and she didn't really dream of success the way the others did. She just enjoyed what she had when she had it. She was special that way. So why the drugs?

He wanted to stay calm. Jade had called him because he was one of her only friends. Quite possibly the only friend left. He knew she hadn't stayed in touch with Beck. They'd broken up on Valentine's Day senior year and didn't speak to each other the remainder of the time shared at Hollywood Arts. Beck was in L.A. for about a year before moving to New York. He'd had some luck there, but last Andre had heard, Beck was working as a bartender.

Robbie Shapiro lived down the street. He'd gone to college and ended up studying journalism. He pitched Robarazzi to E! and was making a living off of invading the personal lives of celebrities. Cat willingly gave him plenty of material and he never stopped carrying the torch for her, so he didn't ever embarrass her. But something scandalous connected to Jade West would be a goldmine for him and, as she was never that nice to him anyway, he hadn't had any moral qualms about sneaking around in her room, looking for something juicy to share with the public. She caught him though and sent him home with a black eye. As far as he knew, they hadn't spoken since and that had been four or five years ago.

Andre himself hadn't had much success in his career—at least not the sort of success he'd envisioned. He'd written a few successful jingles and he worked in a studio, but as far as his music getting out there for all the world to hear and adore? Not yet. Lately he'd been thinking of trying his hand at teaching music instead. He had gone to college for two years before dropping out to devote himself 100% to his music. He had some of the requirements out of the way. He could go back and get an education degree. It just fell so far short of the dream.

But then, Tori had moved on from performing altogether and she seemed happy when they talked. She and Robbie were the only two from the group to have completed college. And while Tori had starred in a few plays during her time at USC, she had joined the Peace Corps after graduating and taught English to kids somewhere down in South America for two years. When she came back, she went to work for a non-profit organization and she still worked for them today. It was strange for him still, to think of Tori Vega as anything other than a pop star. It was hard for him to imagine her not singing and he never had figured out what had made her stop so abruptly and change focus. Last he'd heard, Trina was doing fantastically well as an ad executive at a major marketing firm in New York. The thought of Trina being more successful than Tori seemed utterly unfathomable.

"I was out of the room for ten minutes, I think," she muttered suddenly, pulling him back to their dread present. "Maybe fifteen. And when I came back…"

"What, you just leave that shit lying on the table?" he tried not to sound angry. He could hear the sirens finally.

"No," she shook her head, turning to face him finally. "I didn't know it was there."

"Come on, Jade, you're going to have to do better than that," he growled in spite of his better efforts to keep his cool.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She looked so tired, so spent. He shook his head, pushing any sympathy aside. She looked like a junkie and she did that to herself. And now she did it to Cat too.

"I didn't give it to her, not tonight," Jade explained, though her heart wasn't in her own defense. "I gave it to her once, a few months ago. She was…she was driving me nuts and I thought this would chill her out a bit and I was high so I didn't think… I didn't know she'd ever try it again."

"How many people try heroin just the once, Jade?"

"You think I wanted this? I left the room and when I came back, she'd shot up. What do you want me to do? She was always on me about how bad drugs were. It was months ago when I gave her some and she hadn't had it since, so I didn't think she'd do anything."

There was a knock at the door and when Jade didn't move, Andre got up to answer it. "That's the paramedics."

"I need Tori's phone number."

"Yeah, sure, I'll let you handle calling everyone for the funeral," he said bitterly before going to the door.

Alone in the room again with Cat, Jade looked over at her best friend, blinking back her tears. "I'm sorry, baby girl. You'll never know how sorry I am."