There's a new guy in the office and Sanji can't stand him.
The guy looks out of place, for starters, with his moss colored hair. Sanji thinks it's obviously dyed, but last time someone asked he hooked his thumbs into his pants and grinned, "Wanna check?"
Sanji rips his eyes of his computer when he hears the familiar sound of cussing complimenting angry hissing. He almost smiles when he wheels around in his chair to see Usopp standing with an empty coffee mug and the new guy with a huge coffee stain on what looks to be a brand new white shirt.
"Nami's gonna kill me," The guy snarls and Usopp looks like he's torn between pissing his pants and crying, "But after I kill you first."
Usopp looks at Sanji for help, but Sanji pointedly ignores him and gestures to his computer, "Important stuff. For the boss."
"You're the worst friend!"
It's almost a miracle that Luffy quite literally comes swooping down from god knows where, but Sanji loathes his own existence the moment Luffy says, "Sanji, do me a solid and give Zoro one of your spare shirts and ties, okay? And go with him. He has trouble tying ties."
"I hate you." The new guy, who Luffy just addressed as Zoro, what a lame name for a lame asshole, grumbles as Sanji pulls his spare dress shirt from his desk, knowing it'll be gone for good.
"I'm your best friend, Zoro. You love me. Just admit it." And he actually reaches up on his toes to peck the guy on the cheek, "I'll go make sure Usopp doesn't spill Nami's coffee this time."
Zoro snatches the shirt from Sanji's hands, heading to the bathroom and grumbling the entire way.
"Shit, this shirt was at least 60 bucks! Nami's going to have my head." Zoro grumbles to himself as he kicks the door shut behind him and starts unbuttoning his now ruined shirt in the middle of the bathroom.
"You know, you really should think of using a stall. Who knows who comes in here."
"I don't need you here, dartboard brow!" Zoro snarls, nearly ripping the shirt off his body and Sanji looks away, "What, am I that disgusting to you? I'm so damn sorry."
There's something about the large scar on Zoro's chest that gives Sanji the shivers, but he looks back at Zoro.
To say the dress shirt originally left a lot to the imagination is an understatement. The guy's ripped. He's kind of distracting, really, because the trail of hair leading down from his naval to his dress pants looks tantalizing. If Sanji didn't know better, didn't hate this guy's guts, he'd want to trail his tongue down it. And further.
"Shut up and get dressed."
"You didn't have to follow me!" He snarls, tossing the shirt to the ground like he suddenly doesn't care about it anymore despite the cost of it.
"Luffy asked me to!"
"I can tie my own goddamn tie!"
Sanji stalks to the wall and leans against it, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. When he lights one, he breathes in the smoke like it'll take away his worries, carry this brute away, but when he opens his eyes, Zoro's still there. And he's still naked from the waist up.
Which brings him to his next discovery. He never noticed it before because well, one, he ignores the guy like the plague and two, the dress shirts cover it. His entire arms are filled with tattoos and beneath his left pec it says "Kuina."
"She your girlfriend?"
"Who?" Zoro lifts an eyebrow, finally starting to slide the shirt on, "Where'd you get that?"
"Your tattoo says Kuina."
Zoro freezes, "She was my sister."
Sanji doesn't pry, just lets Zoro button up his shirt and watches him mess up twice. He doesn't say anything as Zoro grumbles and cusses to himself as he fixes it.
Just like Luffy said, Zoro has absolutely no understanding of the concept of tying ties. He looks miserable as he attempts to knot it, and Sanji finally gives in and slaps his hands away.
"Don't ruin my damn tie, moss for brains."
Just as Zoro's about to toss out an insult of his own, the door opens to reveal Luffy with the widest grin, "You guys becoming good friends?"
Zoro looks just as fed up as Sanji, "I hate him."
Sanji finishes tying Zoro's tie, making sure to knot it extra tight, as he grins at Luffy. It's obviously fake, but if Luffy notices, he ignores it. He pats Zoro's chest twice before he plans his escape.
"Come on, Zoro. Nami's asking for you." Luffy lets the door shut behind him as he goes.
Zoro looks like he plans on tossing himself out the window, but he turns to Sanji before he leaves, "Hey, asshole, wanna go out this weekend?"
"With you?"
"No, with Luffy," He groans sarcastically, "Yes, me."
"I thought you hated me."
"I do," He grins, "So do you want to go, or not?"
Sanji scrubs his face with his hands, "Fine."
When Zoro finally gets back out in the hallway with his ruined shirt balled up in his hands, Luffy grins at him.
"So he said yes?"
Zoro smirks, "He did.