This was first written in Spanish, but I liked it, so I translated it. As English isn´t my native language, I surely have some mistakes and/or I don´t follow their catch phrases, cuz I dont know them all. Anyway, if you see any mistake, please tell me and I will be pleased to fix it. There´s no pairing cuz my intentions were to make this fanfic as similar to any episode you´d watch on TV as possible. (If Nick hadn´t canceled the series, of course ;_;) And that´s all I wanted you to know, so we jump to the fic. Read, review, enjoy (but review :3)
BTW, I do own NOTHING! The places and characters are My Master´s property (That´s Jhonen V) and also property of those shitty things named Nick and Viacom.
1
The sky was plagued with purple ships and gigantic rubber pigs with laser coming out of their eyes, in charge of destroying anything left of human kind and every human on earth, except for me. I´d like to believe it was my super developed brain what saved me, but I don't really know.
Anyway, there I was. The last one of my race. Hiding behind The Mall (or what was left of it) I could only think on my Dad and Gaz…
Especially in Gaz.
I mean, just in her.
Dad maybe was saved; maybe he had escaped with all his white-coat partners, but my little sister…
C´mon Gaz, you know you can beat those space jerks, you know you can kick their asses… I mumbled to myself over and over again, but there was the crude reality: I was the only human alive. I told them, but nobody listened! And now Zim had won and this planet was just another land of his crappy race, probably becoming into a parking lot… I remember how bad I wanted to shout them "D´YOU SEE? I WAS RIGHT, MORONS! Zim is an alien! TOLD YOU! HA! TOLD YOU!" When the invasion was just beginning, but that would only worsen the hysteria around the world, the hysteria of those who were now scattered around the city, and around me.
I was kneeling down behind the Mall when I heard an evil laugh behind me, resounding in my ears, into my brain. I slowly turned to see him, standing over some corpse, with a triumphant smile.
Son of a… I thought and I mumbled his name, almost spitting it: Zim…
"Hello, Dib, hyuuman! Do ya like it? Told ya, you could ever beat me, INVADER ZIM! And here´s the proof! Your filthy little planet is conquered, and it was all by myself, cuz I'm bigger than you, better than you, and because I AM ZIM! But the amazing invader Zim may be… y´ know… Merciful"
"I would rather die than getting something from you" I replied, hateful, and he just laughed.
"Really, huh? Don't ya really need help from the greatest invader of the galaxy, no, of the entire UNIVERSE? Look at yourself! You´re totally defeated! And I'm here, losing my valuable time, not killing you, and you don't want MA help? You are so much dumber than I thought. You don't want my help? INVADER ZIM´S HELP?" He asked and started laughing maniacally.
"Why do you want to help me?" I asked and he stopped laughing.
"I… I don't know. Guess I was pretending to take you where My Tallest, and show ´em how was life in your planet, and maybe they´ll experiment with you later. Don't look at me like that; it's better than not been alive at all. I hate you, but I have to admit you´re the only redeemable in your putrid human race, the only being with intelligence. You need me, Dib-worm, I know, ya´ know…" he said, smiled with a normal smile (not one of Oh, look how cool I am, I beat you, you fucking loser) and stretched out his arm, offering his hand to help me up.
I looked at him, wondering if I should accept his help, but he´s my nemesis, please!
Lots of things came to my mind, but one was bigger: I was what was left of humanity. And it shouldn't disappear so easily, even if it's just me. Biting my lip, and closing my eyes, I stretched my arm to take his hand…
And I woke up.
"It was just a dream" I sighed, drying the cold sweat off my forehead. "Of course, what was I thinking? Zim will ever conquer Earth. Not on my watch."
And then I saw him by the mirror in one corner, with his big ruby eyes watching me. I put on my glasses and turned to see him quickly, shouting "Aha!" but there was no Zim.
Ok… maybe I am a little paranoid. Maybe they´re right and I'm going insane, sure I'm just hallucinating… I thought and got myself into bed again. And I closed my eyes, already falling asleep, when I felt something (someone?) sitting over me. I suddenly opened my eyes and saw him, sitting with his legs open on me with a sharp dagger in his hands.
"My Squeedily-spooch is severely damaged and only your human heart can save me" he said, almost sweetly and plunged the dagger into my chest, with both hands. I shouted, feeling an excruciating pain, but my screams were becoming high pitched and repetitive, like "beep-beep" and then it wasn't me, it was my alarm clock.
I opened my eyes and saw Gaz, standing in front of my bed, playing with her Game Slave II.
"No more dreams? Am I really awake?" I asked softly
"You, big asshole, your sissy squeals made me lose against the Vampire Pig "she said with her usual hate.
"Did I shout? What did I say?"
"You were just repeating Zim´s name over and over again. Why don't you just admit you like him and leave me and my videogame alone?"
"WHUUUT? THAT REVOLTING SPACE BOY? How can you say that? Of course I don't, who do ya´ think I am?" I asked, and the single idea made me wanna go to dad´s lab and drink 10 liters of sulfuric acid in a shot.
"If you don't like him, why do you have an altar in our basement, you freak?"
"It ISNT an altar, is a collection of evidence and irrefutable proof that Zim is an alien!"
"You´ve got photos of him, and DNA samples. You disgust me, you´re such a pervert." She stated. "However, Dad saw them and they´re on their way to the city dump, and see if you stop being so gay."
"WHAT? NO! I need my evidence! The WORLD needs this evidence! Why didn't you stop him?"
"You made me lose against the Vampire Pig, for me you can go fuck yourself." She said and walked away. I dressed up in my highest speed and ran to the kitchen, where dad was making instant soup with nuclear heating.
"The garbage truck hasn't arrived yet?" I asked breathlessly and dad interrupted his uranium particle dividing to look at me.
"Yeah, it arrived and left." He replied.
"NOOOO MY EVIDENCE!" I shouted and pulled myself to the ground sobbing and pounding the floor with my fists.
"The photos of that exchange student you say is an alien?"
"I don't say he´s an alien, I know that!"
Dad patted me on my head
"Son, I think you should get rid of that xenophobia, don't you think?" he asked and I just growled and ran away, to the city dump.
If I need to throw myself into the garbage for saving human kind, whatever.
While looking, I pitied myself aloud:
"This is just pathetic! I have everything I need to prove to anyone that Zim is an alien, and they don't believe me! They don't even listen! There´s no one who could listen to me, or am I asking for too much?"
"No, you´re not. I believe you." a voice said from behind, and I turned to see a blue haired girl cradling a black cat with red eyes in her arms, both smiling dangerously (I mean, if the cat could smile)
"Tak? Weren't you…?"
"…Dead? Nope. Zim is too short to defeat me. Actually I came here to revenge once and for all, but this time I decided I need help, and as you are the only human being who has a brain, and your sister freaks me, you will be the one to help me kill him."
"W-what?" I asked and she smiled, maybe flirting, but it was scary enough
"Y´ see, I have everything planned, but its worthless without you, Dib, you are the only one who can help. Besides, I know you also want to get rid of Zim, don't you? He dies, we win. It's the perfect plan. We are the perfect allies."
"But you wanted to destroy Earth!"
"Yes, I did want. But not anymore. Earth is so tiny… our Tallest don't give a damn for it."
"They don't? Then why…? How…? How can I trust you?" I challenged her and she smiled again.
"Well…. I guess I have to do the Irken Vows…"
"Irken Vow?" I asked, but she ignored me, became an Irken and with one hand clasping her two antennas and the other in her chest, she recited:
"I swear for my Almighty Tallest
For my Irken race and my pure blood running
If it happens I'm not honest
My squeedily spooch… will shatter"
"The last part doesn't rime" I pointed.
"Don't question my vow!" she yelled and her voice went sweet again. "So…. Will you help me?" asked and offered me her hand.
With that ridiculous poem, she had convinced me, besides I thought maybe it was time to attack fire with fire (or irken with irken) so I agreed and shook her hand. When I did so, she smiled and her cat purred.
"Now, can you explain to me why the hell if your Tallest don't care about my planet, Zim is trying to conquer it?" I asked. She became human and took my hand (which in any other circumstances would make me blush, not because I like her, but because the only girl I talk to is my sister) but this was important, so we ran to the closest Mc Meaty´s so she could explain me her (our?) new plan.
The place was, as always, full, so it was either stupid or clever of Tak to tell me her plan shouting:
"As I was saying, we don't care about your planet. When you two took me out of ya planet, I started to wander around waiting for MiMi to reconfigure, so she could give me the coordinates to return, and I discovered why there would be no… competent irken trying to conquer Earth. Because your planet is too small, even your Milky Way is small. Your sun may be big enough, but we have bigger suns than yours. My irken race is only interested in the size, so your planet is safe." She said while I was drinking soda.
"Wow…" I said. "And if you don't care, then why Zim…?"
"Because the truth is that Almighty Tallest sent him to any planet far enough and they were hoping him to die soon, and he doesn't know that, or he doesn't want to accept it. If The Tallest told him that, he would believe it, but they don't care about him."
"If they told him…. He would die!" I exclaimed and she smiled and ate her second waffle.
"Exactly, Dib. And that's the phase two of my three-phases plan to defeat Zim."
"Which one is first?" I asked
"There's where you act. Y´know, there´s an ancient alien proverb that says: You need your enemies more than you need your friends, do you know it?" I didn't answer "yeah, I thought so. Anyway, you and I will see if that proverb is true."
First chappy finished! (translated, I mean)
Did you like it? Yes? No? (if you anwered no, DIE!) Ejhem... well, hope you liked it, hope I fulfilled my purpose. Comments would be great! and comments will get some waffles! You love waffles, you cant stand living without waffles...
Ok, see ya for next chap!