Chapter 1: The Oil Rig

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC

A sleek British sports car talks directly to us in a pixilated, garbled video. He's out of breath. Crates are visible behind him in the shadowy bowels of a steel room. "This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for Agent Finn McMissile. Finn. My cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped. You won't believe what I've found out here."

He angles his camera view, revealing a porthole through which flames can be seen rising in the distance. "This is bigger than anything we've ever seen. And no one even knows it exists. Finn, I need backup. But don't call the cavalry - it could blow the operation. And be careful. It's not safe out here! Transmitting my grids now. Good luck!" With that he signs off, coordinates appear: 40 6.80' N - 172 23.84' W.

XXX

A tiny crab boat crests over massive swells. "Alright buddy, we're here. Right where you paid me to bring you. Question is, why?"

A metallic blue sports car, an Aston Martin to be precise, emerges from the shadows. Meet Finn McMissile. "I'm looking for a car." he simply states.

"A car? Hey pal, you can't get any further away from land than out here." Crabby scoffs with a small laugh.

"Exactly where I want to be." Finn replies smoothly.

"Well I got news for you, buddy. There's nobody out here but us." Crabby replied assuredly.

Suddenly, a horn from a combat ship, the size of most cruise ships. Finn quickly backs into the shadows, out of sight. "What are you doing out here?" asked the ship in an intimidating voice, contradicting Crabby's previous statement.

"What does it look like, genius? I'm crabbing!" Crabby shouted up at him.

Sneering down at him the combat ship leers, "Well turn around and go back where you came from."

"Yeah? And who's gonna make me?" A laser sight hits Crabby between the eyes. "Alright, alright! Don't get your prop in a twist." As he turns to leave, he says "What a jerk. Sorry, buddy. Looks like it's the end of the line. Buddy?"

Finn is no longer on Crabby's deck. Instead, he is currently hanging off the side of the combat ship, clandestine. We're with Finn as the ship continues on, cuts through the darkness with purpose. Suddenly small flames appear, perhaps a knot or so away. A flame rises above Finn, the ship. It illuminates an oil derrick. Finn fires a grappling hook to the derrick and swings toward it. He's going to slam into the side with brute force when his tires sprout a magnetic exoskeleton. He sticks to the derrick and now drives vertically up, up, up... From this vantage point, hundreds of derricks appear. Finn approaches a loading bay from above, hides. He watches as Gremlins, Pacers, and assorted other cars scurry about. Finn speaks into a radio. "Leland Turbo, this is Finn McMissile. I'm at the rally point. Over." There was no response. Finn spoke into the radio again. "Leland, it's Finn. Please respond. Over." An access door opens loudly below.

A boxy, monocle-wearing German car enters. This is Professor Otto Zundapp. "Too many cars here. Out of my way!" the Professor loudly exclaims.

"Professor Zundapp?" Finn quietly asked of himself.

"Here it is, Professor." Pacer said. Zundapp approaches a Nosy Pacer who idles

next to a crate. "You wanted to see this before we load it?" asked the said Pacer.

"Ah, yes. Very carefully. . ." A forklift opens the crate. Inside is a Tv Camera, packed carefully in foam.

Finn snaps photos furiously. "Oh. A TV camera. What does it actually do?"

"This camera is extremely dangerous."

"What are you up to now, Professor?" Finn asked to himself. Finn, angling for a better view, fires suspension wires which sail clear to the other side of the derrick. THOK! They hook tightly onto a steel girder. Finn slides out onto the wire like an acrobat, then expels another cross-wire for support.

"This is valuable equipment. Make sure it is properly secured for the voyage." the professor orders.

"You got it."

Finn lowers himself. He snaps more pictures.

"Hey, Professor Z!" Grem suddenly exclaims. Zundapp turns as a crane lowers a car-sized crate. Grem and Acer, an orange Gremlin and a green Pacer, flank it. "This is one of those British spies we told you about."

"Yeah. This one we caught sticking his bumper where it didn't belong."

Finn produces a semi-automatic guns from his side, readies himself for a tag-team spy fight with his buddy Leland.

"Agent Leland Turbo." The crate is lifted, revealing a crushed, cubed Leland Turbo.

Finn's eyes go wide. Another flame rises behind him, casts a Finn-shaped shadow over the Professor. He looks up. "It's Finn McMissile! He's seen the camera! Kill him!"

Finn unloads with bullets as he starts to retreat. He stops. Bad guy cars are waiting for him on the catwalk where he just came from, blow torches ready. Finn, stuck in midair, notices an angry crane. Finn mischievously grins, having just found his escape. Finn releases three of his four cables, swinging, Indiana Jones-style on the last one towards the crane, where he lands on the deck, drives up and launches off of it where he lands, moving, onto another deck! Finn now drives, spraying oil and screeching around corners. A Gremlin in pursuit hits the oil patch, loses control and plummets off the side of the rig! The Gremlin falls. He smashes into the water and breaks into a million pieces. Now set upon by twenty or thirty more pursuing cars. He has nowhere to go but up a ramp toward the helipad. He spies some gasoline barrels, fires a single bullet which cuts through its leather straps, sending barrels down the ramp, past Finn, past the pursuing cars, to the bottom where they explode in a chain reaction back up the ramp, taking out at least fifteen cars! On the helipad, Finn blasts into view, pulling to a stop. No more road. Nowhere else to go. The twenty bad guy cars that are still in pursuit surround him, fire up their blowtorches. About to pounce. Finn grins. The second time we've seen this grin. It means he's got something cooking. Finn's reverse lights appear. He drives backward off the edge of the helipad to the shock of the other cars. Finn falls. He turns himself so he's grill first, cleanly cutting into the water. He emerges, now sprouting hydrofoil, and speeds away.

"Get to the boats." Grem ordered, nonplussed. The Boats; an army of combat ships quickly drop into the sea and churn water with unprecedented fury as they quickly make up the distance between them and Finn, firing bullets as they do so.

"He's getting away!" Acer furiously exclaimed.

"Not for long." replied the combat ship Acer was riding. The lead combat ship quietly drops a torpedo into the water. It skips along, connecting with Finn in his rear and exploding with such force that water skyrockets into the night clouds.

Underwater, Finn McMissile sinks. Then, he blinks. He grins yet again. We're starting to like this grin and what follows it. He now converts into a submarine. From his trunk he releases four decoy tires which float to the surface like body parts.

On the derrick Professor Zundapp watches it all from far away. "He's dead, Professor." Grem stated in a proud voice over the radio.

Zundapp smirks happily. "Wunderbar. With Finn McMissile gone, who can stop us now?"