A/N: I've had the worst writers block for the longest time, then I sat down and this happened! The first of a two-parter, I hope you enjoy.
It was a mistake.
A stupid mistake.
Truthfully, I think I've always loved her. I just thought those feelings were a fierce respect and admiration for a war hero, a strong and intelligent woman. Someone I wanted to be.
Not someone I wanted to be with.
She's forty four years older than I am. She's known me since I was that buck-toothed, book worm at age eleven. I'm thirty in three years and she's currently in her seventies and while these are all reasons why I shouldn't want this, they don't stop how I feel. The only reason why I'd class our mutual moment of weakness as a bad thing is because I'm married. To Ronald bloody Weasley! Someone who is so different to her.
We spent weeks after the war together as that same trio, Harry and I supported the Weasley's as best we could. We grieved together, argued when tensions were high and apologised when we had all calmed down again. It was tough, sometimes it still is, but we became a unit and I think that's why I couldn't bear to leave Ron.
When Ginny died, Molly blamed herself for not getting to Bellatrix fast enough. Perhaps at the time she felt that avenging her daughter would make her feel better but years passed and that guilt ate her up. I think she used me to replace Ginny, I was that daughter figure that she had lost and I didn't want to break her heart, or anyone elses, so I stayed with Ron.
Harry found comfort with George in their zest to support each other with their loss. The losses we all felt. It was a bittersweet day when the two got married. Harry and George were the only ones who knew my heart didn't belong to Ron, they encouraged me to leave, to follow my heart but I couldn't.
It was the eight anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts and just ten months since Molly had died. The guilt from killing Bellatrix, the pain of losing two children and the years of stress trying to hold together a family that was falling apart made her ill and eventually, she succumbed. Arthur was devastated, we all were, but him the most. Molly was his soul mate, we found out days later that they were bound when Arthur didn't wake up, a peaceful smile on his face.
The idea of breaking Molly's heart was no longer a factor, there was nothing keeping me tied to Ron apart from marriage, though I couldn't leave him after his parents had passed away.
Then the anniversary ball came around, my life was stagnant and not at all what I had wanted it to be when I first started at Hogwarts. I was in a loveless marriage, a dead-end job at the ministry that didn't engage me mentally, and I had this craving for an unknown. At this point, I didn't know it was for her.
I always looked forward to these events, and only until now do I realise it was because I got to see her outside of Hogwarts, outside of her duties of Headmistress.
She usually left these things early, however at almost nine o'clock in the evening, and after far too many glasses of wine, I found her outside when I was going to get some fresh air, sick of seeing Ron drunkenly poring over every witch that looked his way.
"Minerva." I whispered, blushing when I heard myself and clearing my throat. "Hi!" I smiled and walked over to her, she gestured to the empty space on the bench beside her and I took it. "You're here late." She smiled a little lopsidedly.
"I fear I may have had too many glasses of fire whiskey... I don't know where I'd end up if I tried to apparate home." We shared a laugh. "Why are you out here?" She asked and I sighed.
"Fresh air." She gave me this look that told me she knew everything. "Ron. I find myself tired of watching him with those girls." Minerva nodded slowly.
"No man should subject his wife to that."
"No wife should subject her husband to a loveless marriage Minerva." I replied, shocking the both of us.
"You don't love him." It was more of a statement than a question. "Why stay with him?" So I told her, all about Molly and the guilt and that horrible empty feeling that comes along with the craving. She nodded emphatically at that point and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Hermione, you've subjected yourself to this life that does not fit you. You were never cut out to be a housewife, you were supposed to change the world and live passionately with your fire." I looked up and we locked eyes, then it happened.
That kiss changed my life and when I opened my eyes, I didn't know where we were.
"My home. Hope it isn't too presumptuous." Minerva almost growled out, her lips on my neck. I smiled.
"No, not at all."
The next morning, I felt guilty. I knew Ron would be worried, and Harry, George... All of my friends. I left without saying a word. I looked over at Minerva sleeping beside me and felt my heart burst with love. I knew then that this was what I should've been feeling every morning waking up beside Ron.
I knew what I had to do.
I got up quickly, collecting my clothes and apparating to my own house silently. When I arrived, Ron and Harry were sat in the living room.
"Where have you been?!" Harry asked, standing quickly. I looked at him and his face changed from angry to concerned.
"Can I have a minute with Ron, please?" We locked eyes and I think he knew. He smiled, squeezed my elbow and left. I sat down beside my husband and he dropped his head into his hands.
"I know what this is, Hermione." I frowned in confusion. "You're leaving me, aren't you?" I swallowed thickly and nodded. "I always knew this was coming, I guess I just hoped that it... Wouldn't."
"Ron I'm... I'm sorry." He nodded and wrapped me up in his arms.
"So am I, love." He let me go and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you." I shook my head.
"Oh please don't say that!" He grinned to show me he was only teasing and his look turned back to serious.
"Thank you for the wonderful years you've given to me. Your support and your love have been unbelievable, I wouldn't have made it this far without you." I smiled, unable to talk past the thick lump in my throat.
After a long talk that lasted until midday, I packed up my things, shrank them into a small box, pocketed them and left. My soul felt light and my feet barely touched the ground as I walked intent on going back to Minerva's when I realised I didn't know where Minerva's was.
I had left silently, leaving no note and no way to get in touch with her. Dread filled my stomach until I decided to look at things more rationally and apparate to Hogwarts, hopefully finding her there.
I arrived at the gates that swung open in greeting and ran up to the heavy oak door, pushing it open. I kept running, my feet taking me up the stone staircases that swung in every direction until I found myself breathless at her office door, which I ran straight through rather than knocking and there she was. Sat at her desk doing some kind of paperwork. She looked up in shock at the intrusion and then frowned at my presence, sighing and putting down her quill.
"Come in Hermione. I believe we have a lot to discuss."