CHORUS:
Bring out your bastards, yes bring out Kirk's bastards
We know there's more than one
For he's been roaming the galaxy
And sowing his wild seeds
And having all sorts of fun
Doctor Carol Marcus and poor dead Marimonie
Both gave him a child
But what did he care, when he's out traveling out there
And does not see the fruits that he's piled.
Chorus
All you dear ladies, who are having your babies
Wouldn't you like to get your maternity
For such a viral man, who spreds his seed like sand
You should sue him for paternity
Chorus
His ship's a jealous mistress, for he's won her distrust
For his eye does so roam
Yet in the end she knows he's her friend
Because he always comes home
Chorus
It's being said he's not right in his head
And he wanders the halls in confusion
Rumor says Spock, keeps his door locked
To keep out unwelcomed intrusion
Chorus – repeat twice
Dana Bell 2004