On my Watch
I would appreciate telling me what do you think of Blake's characterization and metaphor usage.
Prologue
Being his calm and collected self who always think before acting, Jayden realized that there was something wrong as his frantic gaze meet the empty one of Nathanial Williams. Dully, he lowered his gun as if he was trying to hide the fact that his own weapon has finally claimed its first victim; however the lingering traces of smoke reminded him otherwise as they drifted lazily in the still air. With a dry mouth, he stuttered audibly, "I-I shot him… Oh my God!", then let the sore realization sink in. As if he needed a confirmation from his so-called partner, he heard a sarcastic remark in the distant, "It looks like it, Kid." Blake's presence re-registered in his mind.
Jayden froze and felt fixed by his partner's cold gaze and repulsing sneer. He felt cornered and immediately shifted to defense, "He was reaching into his pocket. I'd to act fast or he would've…", "What? Killed me?" Blake interrupted before he dragged on lazily, "He couldn't!"; the retrieved crucifix was waved in emphasis. As if the dead body was not enough burden, that damn Blake had to increase it with his little revelation. Horror, anger, guilt and frustration formed a roaring vortex that was withering wildly inside his tightening chest. Shaky fingers rubbed his shut eyes before they gathered and descended below trying to calm his frantic pants but to no avail.
'Jee! A first timer...' Blake thought with mild frustration as he observed the young cop from down where he was crouching near their victim. He knew how difficult was always the first time – sure he had experienced it long ago and saw many new recruits go through it under his watch. Yet, he knew better than trying to ease it for the stricken agent simply because there was no way. The smug kid has to deal with whatever feelings on his own since Blake was not going to babysit him – He couldn't even if he wanted for the lack of compassion required to carry on the act. A tired sigh was release before he averted his gaze again to the lifeless body and pulled his radio off to go through the usual drill.
With his partner finding new interest in exercising authority over the radio, Jayden cornered mind urged him to cease the chance and flee the scene. Instantly, he staggered backward few uneven steps before he ran to the adjacent room hoping to leash whatever beast was thrashing inside and claiming the little air that he was dragging in. However, the accumulating dust and cheap candles burns were there denying him precious air again. "Tripto! Tripto will drive it away!" He chanted desperately; all logic swept to the back of his foggy mind.
Shaky steps found their way through the hazy corridor and ended up in the small bathroom. He stumbled in and the door was shut behind with a feeble thump desperate to shelter her refugee from harsh reality outside. His pale face was even sicker when it peered back at him through the grimy bathroom mirror. His red eyes did not promise anything better either as they sank deeper in the darkness that surrounded them. In a flash, a cold hand acted on its accord leaving the sticky rim of the old washbasin before frantically summoning the magic vial high. One desperate sniff followed by another were enough to remove the dark veil that shrouded his mind and heart before indulging him in an ecstasy of serene blue. With peace restored at last, Jayden leaned his burdened shoulders against the door behind and slide down smoothly to rest on the dirty tiles.
Blake has just finished the brief transmission when he noticed the FBI Agent's disappearance. At first, he shrugged the note and decided to wait for the cops to take over the "accident" scene before he head out to bring down their next suspect. However and a minute later, something was there in his mind nagging him to check where his temporary partner had gone off. Was it compassion toward a young cop who just shot his first deadly bullet, or the curiosity to see how was the arrogant kid licking his first emotional wound? He could not tell and cared less. Another minute dragged on idly and Blake realized that he could not deny himself something he wanted no matter what his personal drives were.
The hardened cop roamed the dimly-lit apartment casually calling his forced partner's name as he paced. When he reached the now closed bathroom door, he concluded that Jayden was inside; after all where else could he had gone. A bored double-knock followed by a shouted name was neglected and Blake hated waiting. He griped the rusty handle and pushed it down but he was surprised with the unexpected weight on the other side challenging his rough push. Before his mind could reason, he felt extra weight placed on the handle from the other side followed by a bloodshot eye peering ominously through the slightly adjourned door. Heavy air chilled for a dark moment.
Blake felt it but refused to admit it while his eyes held the narrowed reddened pair now with cautious stare. "What do you want?" The drained voice reached to snap him from his forced trance causing his reply to come too fast for his ears. "Move it kid! We have another suspect to catch." – Fake disinterest wrapped his tone protectively; after all he did not care about what was going on the other side of the splintered door. Much to his relief, the feeling was proven mutual as a resentful red glance shot toward him followed by a spited command, "Give me a minute!" Then, the door was shut with a loud thud that left Blake gritting his teeth till they were separated with a hissed curse, 'Fucking asshole!' At once, he retraced his steps back to the "legal" crime scene contemplating the hidden animosity that perked from behind the glossy red stares. He knew that the FBI agent did not exactly like him but those mad stares were a bit overboard.
Heaving deeply, Jayden mentally cursed the man on the other side of the shut door. He would have been spared travelling down this sinister path today only if the brute had acted a bit mature and restrained his abusive streak. To feed his fire more gasoline, the accompanied guilt was heightened with the purposelessness of the kill. Upon the ugly remainder, horror hovered over him again but this time he molded it into rage directed toward its original source; that mad dog of a cop. Yet and in the distance, a splash of cold water was tempting him with promises to put out the raging flames in his throbbing head, and he gave in the soothing temptation.
Blake was wondering how much time did it take Nathanial to hang all those crucifixes. Was it worth the trouble? 'Clearly not!' He concluded since they failed to deliver him from this cruel world in a less violent manner but rather with a bullet to the head. Usually, he was not much of a thinker but he preferred becoming one on occasions that required self-entertaining to pass the slow wait. As soon as it started though, his thoughtful trip reached an ending when two cops entered the apartment. He did not bother with a welcome and went down to business briefing the joiner officers about another "unfortunate incident".
Blake briefing was interrupted when Jayden came out passing by without even glance for acknowledgment. His eyes followed the silent man as he headed toward the door and exited the apartment. Irritated by the still-superior attitude of the kid who was sniffing on the bathroom floor a minute ago, he lashed at the two policemen in front, "Just take care of this shit!" He commanded ever sternly before he followed his partner for the long day.
TBC