The iCarly Interview.
Summary: I interview Carly Shay, Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson...
1. How old are you?
C: I'm sixteen.
F: Seventeen years, four months and ten days
S: You're so dumb. Can't you just say you're seventeen and get it over with? I'm 17, BTW.
C: Cut it out, you two. We want this to be nice and peaceful, OK?
2. Height?
C: 5 foot, 4 and a half inches. DON'T FORGET THE HALF!
S: Five feet [hangs head, then brightens] Hey, I'm tall enough to punch Freddork where it HURTS. In his case, the stomach, since he is lacking in something the male race normally has.
F: HEY! No fair! I'm five foot three. HEY, WAIT! THAT MEANS CARLY'S TALLER THAN ME! NO FAIR!
C: Hahahaha! A girl is taller than you. What next?
S: A girl will have a bigger...never mind...than him! Hahahaha!
F: Anyway, like I said, I'm 5'3, pushing 5'4.
S: Nobody cares, Benson, don't you get that?
F: Sam, you're pushing it!
S: Sorry, mamma's boy.
F: Sam!
C: Guys! GUYS! CUT . IT . OUT! OK?
S & F: Sorry, Carly.
C: Good.
3. Have you any bad habits?
S: I eat ham alot. Is that bad?
F: Mom makes me take flea baths. But it's not a habit.
S: So why do you take one every week, even when Mamma Benson isn't there? Hm?
C: I sometimes bite my nails...
F: Ok, so it's a habit. The stuff smells like strawberries, OK?
S: It smells like vodka. You told me so last week.
F: Sam, I'm gonna...gonnna...gonnna...
S: Gonna what? Stutter at me?
C: GUYS! Let's get on with this, OK? PLEASE!
S & F: Sorry, Carly.
C: Good.
4. Hair colour?
S: Long, blonde and curly.
F: That's what makes you so stupid.
S: HYPOCRITE! You don't let me make under-developed-boy jokes, but you can make dumb-blonde jokes? IS THAT IT? WELL, THEN, I SUGGEST YOU SHUT THE HELL UP UNLESS YOU WANT ANOTHER WEEK IN HOSPITAL. OK? GOOD.
F: Sorry, Sam.
S: Shut it, Benson.
C: Well, even though no-one cares, mine is shoulder length and brunette.
F: I care, Carly.
S: SHE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, FREDDORK.
F: Shut it. Mine is brown and short. Nothing more to say.
S: No-one cares, no-one cares, no-one cares, OK, BENSON? SO SHUT UP!
C: GUYS!
S & F: Sorry, Carly.
5. Who's your mate/partner/spouse?
S: No-one, currently. Though I do like the look of some of the Varsity football players. Mmm.
C: No-one. I'm single!
F: Me too. Though I do like Carly.
S: Shut it. We know.
F: Just getting it out there...
S: Again...
C: Sam! Freddie! STOP IT!
Both: Sorry, Carly.
6. Do you want kids?
C: Yeah, I do. A boy named Spencer and a girl named Isabella Marie.
S: Heck no. Drooling, pooping babies are so not my thing.
F: I want a girl named Carly...and a boy named Freddie Jnr.
S: GOD FREAKING HELP THE POOR KID TO BE NAMED AFTER YOU, FREDWIERD!
F: SAM!
C: Guys...
S & F: Sorry...again.
7. Favourite food?
S: HAM! Speaking of which...bye!
C: Hmmm...tie between ice cream and pie.
F: Fruit. And pie.
S: I'm baa-ack! Time to attack Freddie with this bat I found!
F: NOOO! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
S: Hehe! This is fun!
C: CUT IT OUT, SAM! STOP YELPING, FREDDIE!
Both: Sorry!
8. Favourite Ice-Cream flavor?
S: Tie between double chocolate fudge with marshmallows and triple chocolate fudge with chocolate sauce and sprinkles.
F: Lemon sorbet.
S: SORBET IS NOT ICE CREAM, FREDWIERD!
F: Fine then. Vanilla.
S: That's barely a flavor. Stupid Benson.
C: I like mint...and chocolate!
9. Have you ever killed anyone?
S: No. But I am planning Freddie's murder right now, as we speak. Mwahahahaha!
C: No. And I don't plan to. Unless it's our 'NUMBER ONE FAN'!
F: Ya...she was insane! I might kill Sam...
S: But you don't have the guts...
F: NO, I just don't wanna get arrested by the FEDs!
S: Ya. Sure. That's the reason...
C: Guys...
Both: Whoops...sorry!
10. Do you hate anyone?
S: Freddie. And Freddie's mom.
F: Sam. And Sam's mom.
C: My grandpa, sometimes...and sometimes Sam and Freddie for FIGHTING CONSTANTLY!
11. Do you have any secrets?
S & F: Ummmm...no...we never kissed...ever! EVER, I TELL YOU! EVER!
C: Wierdos...ummm...I lie to Spencer about my grades alot.
Spencer: WHAT? CARLY! HOW COULD YOU!
C: Just kidding...not...!
Spencer: OH, OK THEN! BYE!
12. Do you love anyone?
S: Carly.
C: Sam...and Freddie as a friend and techincal manager person...NOTHING MORE!
F: Carly...literally...
S: YEAH, BUT DOES SHE LOVE YOU? NO! NO SHE DOES NOT! GIVE IT OVER, BENSON!
13. Hot Dogs...
S: ...sound good. Bye!
C: Yum! Wait for me, Sam!
F: Emmm...no, to fattening.
14. Have you ever slept in all day?
S: Ya. And the next day. And the next day after that. In fact, a whole week once. But I got up for food. And toilet.
C: Just until six. At night.
F: Nope. 7 am rise every day for school, 8 on weekends. Thanks to Mom.
Mrs. Benson: FREDDIE! IT'S TIME FOR YOUR NIT SHAMPOO!
S: Nit shampoo? You're never gonna live this down, Benson.
F: MOM! TEN MINUTES, PLEASE!
Mrs. Benson: OK, HONEY! JUST 10, THOUGH!
F: YES, MOM!
S: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Top 10 viewings on YouTube...hahahaha!
F: What?
S: Oh, nothing.
C: Sam...
S: WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?
15. Favourtie show?
S: Girly Cow. And Judge Judy.
F: Discovery Channel.
S: Hahaha! Discovery Channel is for dorks!
C: American Idol. And Judge Judy!
16. Favourite movie?
S: Transformers I & II. And 007.
F: Notting Hill. And Changeling.
C: 007...and The Simpsons Movie.
17. Favourite band?
S: Kings of Leon. And The Coronas. And Paramore. Hayley Williams is just awesome!
C: OWL CITY! AND PARAMORE!
F: Owl City, I think.
18. Eye colours?
S: Bluish Greenish! Like the sea.
F: Brown. Like a dark hardwood floor.
C: Dark brown. Like chocolate.
S: "Dark hardwood floor"? WHO COMPARES THIER EYES TO A DARK HARDWOOD FLOOR?
19. Skin?
C: Very pale. That's why I always wear blush.
S: Pale, but in Summer I tan well.
F: Pasty.
S: HAHAHA PASTY BOY!
20. Fat/Average/Slim?
C: Slimish, but I have big shoulders.
S: Slim with muscly forearms and thighs.
F: Average, with large hands.
S: Let's put these muscly forearms and thighs to good use...on BENSON!
F: NO! OWOWOWOWOWOW!
S: Yay! Fun time!
21. Rain or Sunshine?
C: SUNSHINE! WITH SUNSHINE COMES SUMMER, BEACH, BIKINIS AND BOYS! WHOOOP!
S: Sunshine! Are you crazy? Sunshine = summer = no school! YAY!
F: Rain. Rain means fall means back to school and learning! Yay!
22. Pool or Beach?
C: Beach means boys, so beach it is!
S: Beach. More waves for surfing! WHOOP!
F: Pool. I make less of a fool of myself.
S: You're always a fool!
23. Camping or staying home?
C: Camping! I love hiking, you see.
S: Staying home. More ham at home.
F: Camping. No nit shampoo.
24. Dog or Cat?
C: Dog. Preferably a Golden Retriever.
F: Dog. A big fluffy Pomeranian.
S: Pomeraninans are tiny! I like dogs, especially Alsatians and Dobermanns.
F: AHHH! A Dobermann bit me when I was 8.
S: HAHA! Serves you!
F: [grumbles angrily]
25. Do you believe in aliens?
C: No. Well, I'd have to see to believe. I'm undecided.
F: NO! I'm with the side of science against supernatural beings.
S: Yes, I do. I firmly believe Freddork is not of this planet.
F: SAM!
C: GUYS!
Both: Sorry, Carly.
C: Good.
26. Natural born or clone?
C: Natural. I hope.
S: Knowing my mother, I'm probably adopted. Fredwierd is a clone of a human, though.
F: NO I'M NOT! I'M NATURAL BORN! WAIT, AM I? MOM?
27. Car or Ship?
C: Ship. They're cooler.
F: Car. A Ferrari is a car. And Ferrari's are my life.
S: Car. I live for Lamborghinis. I bet you don't know the first thing about a Ferrari, Fredwierd.
F: Yes I do..they're racing cars, aren't they?
S: I mean about the actual car...don't lie in interviews, Fredwina, it's bad press!
28. Have you ever destroyed anything out of blind rage?
S: Yup. More than I care to admit.
C: No. But I've destroyed stuff randomly.
F: NO! MOM WOULD KILL ME!
S: You have an over-protective mother and you are her only friend. If you died/were killed she would have to die too, and even then nobody would care.
F: SAM...
S: What?
C: Guys...
Both: Sorry!
29. Any unusual things about you?
S: I'm a teenage mobster.
C: I run my own webshow.
F: Nope.
30. How much food/drink do you need a day?
S: Lots. Especially ham.
F: Just as much as the food pyramid tells me I should have.
C: Average amount. With lots of pie.
31. What is your favourite place?
C: iCarly studio.
S: Bed.
F: School.
S: Dork.
32. Any final words?
S: I LOVE HAM! I HATE FREDDORK!
C: PIE RULES!
F: I LOVE SCHOOL! I HATE SAM!
S: You don't mean that, do you, Benson?
F: No, ma'am.
-END-
A/N: Hope you liked that! Review and live. Don't and die. Love you all...
*kaitlyn* and my dogs ~patch~ and $cara$ x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x
PS. Please R&R my other stories, "Harry Potter and the Loopy Old Man", "The Wizard Interview" and "Random Harry Potter Parody"! Thanks!
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