It was nice seeing Hazelle and the kids for a while. I missed them. Even though Gale is still angry with me and hasn't talked to me since I came back from the victory tour and now I'm engaged to marry Peeta, even though we only did it to save our home and everyone here. I start to pick up my pace when it starts getting darker. I walk through the back alley ways as I walk back home. I jump when an arm wraps around my waist and a hand clamps around my mouth before I could scream. I begin to be pulled between a house and a warehouse. I'm pushed up against the rough brick wall and spun around to face my captor, I gasp when I find it's Thread's face that is mere inches from mine. "You made me look like a fool! You will pay for it!" He says with malice deep in his voice. What's he going to do? Beat me to a pulp?
But he doesn't hit me. He pulls off my father's jacket that I'm wearing and throws it on the ground. He pins my arms behind my back and presses my body up against the wall. His free hand travels to my chest and he cups my right breast. My eyes widen at this new revelation. His intentions are more than clear as he squeezes my breast. I try to squirm free but his body is pressing me too tightly and he's a lot stronger than I as well. I try biting but his hand is clamped to tightly over my mouth there is nothing I can do to stop this from happening. I start to feel helpless and begin to let tears fall in defeat.
He doesn't notice my tears or my futile attempt to free myself from him. His hand moved away from my breast and ripped open my shirt to reveal my undershirt. He slid his hand up under it and grabbed the same breast and painfully squeezes it. I made a sound but it was muffled by his hand I try to move away from the touch but he still holds me tightly as if he knew I would fight back and try to flee from him. I'm starting to think this isn't the first time he's done this.
His wretched hand goes to my other breast and gives it the same treatment. I shut my eyes as if trying to escape from this place. He gropes me over and over again. I feel a bit relieved when his hand leaves my chest. But the relief is short lived when I feel him pull down my pants along with my underwear. My eyes widen when I felt his hand cup me between my legs and fingers me. It hurt a bit as he thrusted his finger into my unwilling body. My eyes grew even more when I hear the zipper to his paints unzip. I thrash and squirm when I realize he wasn't satisfied with just groping me.
He grabs my left arm and guides it to his male parts. "Help an old man out." He purrs in my ear and places my hand around his organ and guides me to stroke him. I feel vomit threatening to come up as I felt the soft saggy skin. It slowly became solid and hard. He removed my hand. He brought it above my head pressing his hand around my wrist as he nudges my legs apart with his knee and before I can brace myself, he thrusts in. A muffled scream comes out of me as he thrust into me over and over again, pushing me further into the brick wall. He stops and I think he's down but again I'm wrong. He turns me around to face the wall. He keeps his hand over my mouth to keep the screams muffled and pins my arms painfully against my back with the other hand. Now I know for sure this isn't his first time doing this since he knows exactly what he's doing.
He thrusts into me from behind and continues to grunt and pant as he thrusts. I scream into his hand at every thrust. Tears stream down my face. He makes one deep thrust and pauses. I feel him pull out of me and he releases me. I slide down the wall and curl into myself.
"That was a good fuck." He says between pants and he walks away. I sit there for a minute trembling in the cold dark alleyway.
I pull my pants back up and whimper when I fully pull them on. I grab the jacket and wrap myself in it. I lie on the cold ground and curl up. I want to hide from this place. I hear footfalls coming towards me and I start to shiver in fear it maybe Thread returning for a second round. I feel warm hands touch me and I recoil away from the touch.
"Katnip it's alright I'm not going to hurt you." I hear Gale's voice. I poke my head up from my arms to find gray eyes stare back at me.
"I found her!" He shouts over his shoulder. Soon the alley is crowding with people. I hide again in my arms.
"Katniss" I hear Peeta's pained voice I look again and notice there's only three faces here. Gale, Peeta, and my mother are here.
Gale lifts me up in his arms and I hide from everyone. I don't want them to see my shame. He carries me home and into my room. I am placed gently down on the soft bed. I hear mother telling them to leave the room so she can care for me in private. I hear the door latch shut. She comes closer to me and tries to pry my arms free, but I protest her. I don't want her help. I don't want anyone's help. I want to be left alone and shut everything and everyone out. She finally gives up and resorts to wiping my face clean from the dirt and grime of the street. She sighs in worry and leaves me be. I roll over to face the wall and my back towards the door. I hear her leave and I hear her voice muffled through the door as she talks to Gale and Peeta. The muffled voice stops and the door creeks open again. I hear two pairs of footsteps as they both walk in towards me.
"I'm sorry Katnip but I need to go home." Gale whispers and lightly kisses my cheek.
I hear him leave. I wait for Peeta to do the same but he doesn't leave. I feel him sit on the floor next to me. He doesn't probe me for answers which I'm glad.
I wake the next day to find blue eyes staring back at me. He brushes my hair off my face and tucks it behind my ear. He looks at my cheek and places his hand softly over it and I flinch. I must have a bruise there because it's tender.
"Sorry." He says then takes his hand away quickly.
I just stare back at him. I don't know what to say to him? I don't even understand myself what had happened. All I feel is pain. My whole body aches especially between my legs. I can feel that my underwear is sticking to me when I move slightly. It must be dried up blood. I figured I would bleed once he left me be.
My throat feels raw from screaming and I'm exhausted even though I just woke up. He gives me a warm but weary smile, which just makes the shame I feel, worse. I want to tell him to leave me be, but I don't really want him to leave either. I reach out my hand towards him and he gently takes it. He brings it up to his soft lips and kisses my hand just above the knuckle. He half smiles at me, and I cast my eyes down away from his stare.
I jump a little when I feel his fingers lightly touch my wrist which must be bruised as well. He still doesn't ask me what happened. I drift back to sleep to his fingers stroking my hair back.
I wake with a start and look around my surroundings and find I'm in my room and not in that dark alley anymore. I feel a hand lightly squeeze my hand. I look to find Peeta still sitting by my side.
"It's alright." He says in his soft and soothing voice. I nod and lay back down.
I wake again and it's morning. I feel that my hand is freed from his and I feel panic come over me as I frantically search for him but only find Prim sitting in his spot.
"He went to get something for you to eat. He'll be up here soon." Prim answers my unasked question. I relax and lay back down.
"Katniss what happened?" She asks. She is the first person to ask me that. The rest of them left me alone.
I can't tell her! She's only twelve! She's too young to know about this kind of thing. Even I am too young to understand what had happened to me. I just shake my head at her. She sighs in worry.
The door opens and in comes Peeta. He sets a plate that has a piece of bread on it and he sets a glass of water next to it. He and Prim coaxes me to eat and drink. I give in and take a few nibbles from the bread and a few sips from the water, seams to satisfy them. Prim leaves us alone and goes to school. Peeta sits next to me on the bed.
"Katniss I'm not blind. I know something happened to you. Someone hurt you that much is evident. I'm assuming badly enough to cause you to act like this. You don't have to speak just nod or shake your head." He says.
I nod slightly.
He nods in agreement.
"Was this a man who hurt you?" He asks.
I nod.
"Was it someone you know?" He asks.
I nod again.
"Is he from the district?" He asks with a bit of worry added to this one.
I shake my head.
"From the peacekeepers?" he asks with exasperation.
I nod and this time my eyes become clouded with tears.
"Was it...was it..." I shake my head before he can say his name I didn't want him to know who did it in fear he and Gale will do something and end up dead.
"Shh it's okay!" he says in a soft calming voice.
I nod and let him comfort me, but I can tell by the look in his eye he knew it was Thread who had hurt me. But to what extent he didn't know. He couldn't come up with that conclusion, could he? No, he doesn't know that. He most likely believes Thread just beat me for being defiant. I allow him to climb in the bed and cradle me in his arms as I cried myself to sleep.
I wake with a start and find Peeta still lying next to me. "Shh, it's alright." He says as he holds me closer to him. There's something about Peeta that's so soothing and calming to him. Unlike Gale who is fire and anger. I love Gale for his passion and always having my back, but what I need now is a calming soul.
"Peeta" I say with a cracked voice.
"Yes" He answers.
"Thank you!" I say as I cuddle him.
"For what?" He asks confused.
"For being here." I answer.
"Always" He whispers in my ear and I fall back to a restless sleep.
Today is rougher because my Mother, Prim, and Peeta want me to shed these clothes off and clean up. But I can't. I can't let them see my shame! My mother gets me out of the jacket and gasps at my torn shirt. She turns to Prim and orders her out of my room after she ushers Prim out she walks back in with Peeta following her in.
"No don't touch me!" I scream panic when he steps closer to me.
"No one is going to hurt you!" mother says calmly.
I start to panic and that's when Peeta notices it in my eyes. "No" He gasps in pure horror. He's figured it out. But how?
"Let me have a minute with her please?" He says to my mother. She nods and leave us be. Once he knew we were totally alone, he walks closer to me and examines my arms without touching me, which are now freed from my jacket. My shirt is off leaving me in my undershirt. I started to panic when Peeta walked closer and saw my shame when I tried to keep hidden and that's when Peeta realized it.
"Katniss he raped you, didn't he." He says as a statement rather than a question. I really need to stop underestimating him. He is a lot smarter than anyone gives him credit for.
"Answer me?" He demands. I simply nod with watery eyes. He crosses over to me and takes me in his arms and buries is face in my hair.
"Who did this to you?" He asks.
"You already know who." I say in a low whisper.
"Thread" he says through clinched jaw. I feel him hold me tighter.
"I don't want anyone to know. Please don't tell them?" I plea.
"Katniss they need to know." He replies.
"Please I'm not ready." I say with a shaky voice. He nods and lets it go.
"Your mother will figure it out when she helps clean you up." He says. I forgot about that detail.
"Can you help then?" I ask with a blush. He looks at me dumbfounded and blushes too.
"Are you sure?" He asks cautiously.
"Yes" I answer
He nods and helps me to the bathroom where my mother already set a bath for me. He sits me down on the toilet and turns away from me so I can take my pants off. I whimper and wince in pain when I pull them off. I gingerly pull off my undershirt and try to stand up but my legs are wobbly and I start to fall but he catches me before I fall. He gingerly scoops me up in his strong arms and lay me gently in the warm water. Once in he turns away so I can clean up. I notice the water turn muddy and a hint of red from my blood. I assis my injuries and find that my body is riddled with dark purple and black bruises, a few scrapes and scratches here and there.
I wash my body as best I can. I stand up on my knees so I can grab the towel off the floor. I pull myself out of the water and wrap the towel around myself. I can manage standing on my knees rather than stand full erect. I let the tub drain and I pull myself to sit back on the toilet seat. I call for Peeta to return and he does. He walks in the bathroom. I look at my clothes and gasp when I see my underwear. I lift them up and examine them closer. It was caked in blood as well with something else. I hear Peeta make an animal like growl in his throat as he saw what I was looking at.
"He came inside you didn't he." Again he says it as a statement rather than a question.
"I think so?" I answer unsurely.
I think back and I remember feeling him thrust deep into me and stays there for what felt like an eternity. I start hyperventilating at the memory and panic, at what? I don't know! My breathing becomes labored as the flash backs hit me.
"Shh its okay it's over now!" I hear Peeta say as he picks me up in his arms and carries me to my bed and sits on it with me in his lap.
I look up at him with clouded watery eyes. He gives me an encouraging smile. He strokes my wet hair off my face. He combs his fingers through my wet hair as he holds me safely in his arms. I drift asleep again to his comforting fingers.
I wake again but this time I'm lying in my bed rather in his lap. I reach out to search for him but I come up empty. I start to panic when I can't find him. Where is my warmth? My safety? I sit up and search my room and still come up empty.
"Peeta" I call out but no response.
"Peeta" I call out louder. I wait but nothing. I call him again and the door opens up and I sigh with relief but it's short lived when I see it isn't Peeta it's Thread.
"Peeta isn't coming. I took care of that." He purrs as he stalks closer to me. I scramble to back away from his advancement and I scream Peeta's name.
"Katniss, Katniss it's okay. I'm here." I hear him say and I open my eyes to see his blue ones looking down at me. He held a weary smile his eyes full of sorrow. He brushes my hair off my face.
"He was here!" I say in a panicked voice.
"No he's not here. He never was here." He answers.
"He said he had taken care of you and he came at me." I cry.
"Katniss he was never in here. I am fine I promise nothing will happen to you anymore. I'll always protect you." He calmly says. I look up at him and nod. He gives me a warm smile and holds me closer to him.