This can't be real, nope, impossible. That was the series of thoughts going through my mind as I 'woke up' in the Karasuno gym, still wearing that horrid red track suit.

Okay, calm down, relax and don't get yourself banned from the club as the first thing you do. If I was to keep living as a complete idiot, which I was not thank you very much, then I might as well make some things easier for everyone.

"Ah! It's you!" An oh-so familiar voice yelled.

Hinata Shoyo, sunshine child that I would protect with my life.

But to stay in the character of Kageyama a bit… "Ah, it's you…"

Not going to bother acting like I didn't know him.

"You two know each other?" Sugawara asked, popping in out of nowhere and giving me a heart attack. "Sorry if I startled you, my name's Sugawara Koushi, or just Suga for short."

Both Hinata and I bowed in respect, though I could tell that Suga really only had his attention on me. "You're the setter from Kitagawa Daiichi right? Great to have you here."

"Pleasure to be working with you…" I mumbled, feeling slightly awkward. I was never good with people, or introductions for that matter. "Kageyama Tobio."

I turned to Hinata, trying to divert the attention from me. "And who are you again? Sorry, I don't really remember…"

Talking to people, the bane of my existence. God, I wanted a volleyball in my hands at that time.

"Hinata Shoyo!" He was suddenly nervous, talking in front of his senpais.

I didn't care about that. It wasn't the fact that they were my senpais, I was just nervous around, well, everyone. People were the most terrifying thing on the planet. It wasn't the monster under my bed, I had befriended the guy. Not the sharks, beautiful creatures that they were. Not the demons that spoke to you in the night, they told some helpful things when you listened.

It was people. People were what was wrong. People were the ones I was scared of the most.

The two of us entered the gym, meeting our other senpais and all that. Luckily for me, Hinata and I hadn't gotten into a fight at the entrance. Nor did we knock of the wig from the principal's head. All good things in my mind, maybe this would give me an advantage with befriending Hinata.

Wait, why did I even want to be Kageyama. I could easily return to my real self, to being Renee, and just staying quiet in the classroom, get good grades, no friends and live life like that.

Damn, those thoughts even depressed me…

When I put it like that… then having a fresh start could really help me out.

"You know," Daichi began, "I gotta say that I'm curious how you set. Care to show us?"

Ah, setting. My specialty. Oh dear, did I even remember how to do that? The vague memories spreading through my head provided me with all the answers I needed.

"Yeah, sure."

The two of us walked to the single court in the room and grabbed a volleyball along the way.

It must've been muscle memory that made it so easy for me to perfectly place the ball in Daichi's hand but I must admit that I loved doing it.

It was fun, setting that is, and seeing the impressed expression on my captain's face made it all the better. Like it was worth it for me to be in that gym. A feeling like I belonged.

That got sentimental quickly…

But you know, the first few days of being a part of Karasuno were relatively boring. So I learnt how to do the first edition of the quick, so what? There was no one yet to use it on.

One thing that I did change drastically was teaching Hinata how to receive. Because I actually bothered to teach him the basics about it and didn't just spike a few balls at his face.

The others also tried their hardest to help the little crow, well, except for Tsukishima. But that was pretty much to be expected. He was a little more tolerable though, not sure what was the reason for that.

And then the news came…

"We're going to have a practice match against Aoba Johsai." Takeda announced. "Though, they have stated that they have a requirement for Kageyama-kun to be the setter."

Ah, that. The match in which we played against my old teammates, the ones who hated me. Hell, Iwaizumi was the only one from that old team that didn't hate my guts.

And I didn't deal well with people that don't like me. The sheer dislike scared me to no end. I really didn't want to confront any of them.

"Sugawara-san, are you okay with this?" I asked my senpai, knowing that he was the regular setter.

"Ah, yeah. It's fine." He quickly reassured me, though I could hear the tremor is his voice.

He wasn't fine with it. That much was obvious. Well, it wasn't like I even wanted to play in that match. I didn't want to meet those guys.

Ahahaha, I was going to have several stress attacks soon. Fun.

And that was the truth, I didn't deal well with stress at all. I even had one in front of the team, it made them pressure me to take a physiatric test which only gave me the same diagnoses I had before. Social Anxiety.

Nothing new for me, I knew how to deal with it. It was something I had lived with for years.

Even though I had days to prepare for the match I still felt terrible and physically sick. Not that it mattered, it always happened.

So even when I saw Kindaichi and Kunimi at the gate I stayed quiet, trying my hardest not to let my anxiety show. Something I had become an expert in.

I even ignored it when Tanaka and Tsukishima terrified Kindaichi and Yahaba. It would be better for me to not speak to any of them, it might give them a clue that I wasn't Kageyama. And I did not want any of them to know that, actually correction, I didn't want them to know I had anxiety. Especially Oikawa, he was willing to do anything to win. Even break his opponents. That meant that he could very well try to trigger one of my attacks just to get me off the court.

I did not trust Oikawa. And by extension the entirety of Seijo, because they would tell him. They absolutely would.

"Kageyama," Sugawara's voice shook my from my thoughts, "your breath is speeding up. It'll be okay, we won't let them know."

I felt my eyes widen at the compassion in his voice, the fandom was right, Sugawara really was the team mother.

But he was right, I needed to get my breathing back under control before I lost myself in my thoughts. It wouldn't do for me to panic before the match and attract attention.

Right, I knew how to do this. Breathe in for seven seconds.

Breathe in.

Hold it for five. Count the seconds.

Breathe out for seven seconds.

I slowly let my breath leave my mouth and repeated the exercise a few more times. Although just looking at Hinata made me calm down with ease, why? Because he was ten times more nervous than I was. I vaguely remember that he would embarrass himself several times during the practice match but I couldn't quite find myself to care.

Better that he attracted all the attention than me, even though I knew that it would end up on me anyway. I could probably deal for a while.

That didn't mean I was looking forward to it.

We walked into the gym and I tuned out how Shoyo was being overly excited at the large ceiling. What did that matter?

Right, he wasn't as nervous as I was. Was he? It was hard to tell with someone like him.

"Alright, it's time to warm up!" Daichi called out.

A chorus of 'yes' passed through the team and we set out to do as ordered. Seijo hadn't entered yet but they would try to make it as extravagant as possible.

They just worked like that.

I had managed to calm down enough to play, my first match in the new body. It was pretty nerve wracking. But I kept my calm, there was no way I would lose my cool in front of the team that disliked me the most.

After a while we lined up to begin the match, with me having a red jersey on with the number 9. I took several more deep breaths, this was not the time for me to lose my cool.

The match begun, and I somehow managed to keep myself together. From the outside at least. I think. I certainly hoped.

Anyway…

Seijo got the first serve, which Daichi received cleanly. It was perfectly received even, so that was what it felt like to get an A-pass.

I set the ball for Tanaka and he spiked it into the ground. Kindaichi was there to block but I guess none of them expected for me to immediately do a quick.

Now what was normal to say when one of your teammates scored? Oh yeah. "Nice kill." I complemented right before I realised my mistake.

Kageyama didn't give compliments, not at this point in time at least. Shiiiit.

The look Kindaichi and Kunimi told me that they had overheard and boy if those two gave me anxiety.

Go away, you're making that nasty feeling return. I tried my hardest to ignore them but it was kind of hard to do with two pairs of stares right in your back. Daichi noticed it too and stood behind me, I didn't know what he did but both of their stares disappeared. Did Daichi glare at them or something?

It didn't really matter to me. I just had to make sure I stayed as silent as possible. To be make sure my panic didn't show. That was my only goal there.

From the looks of things I succeeded.

The match continued on, with Seijo's admittedly hilarious reaction to the super quick. Until Oikawa arrived.

The smug asshole gave Karasuno an innocent smile but I could feel it. The slightly threatening part of that smile, directed right at me.

Instantly my shoulders stiffened up. My breathing hitched in the back of my throat and I tried my hardest not to freak out.

"Yo Tobio-chan, it's been a while." He greeted me.

I swallowed thickly and willed my voice not to shake. "Oikawa-san."

There was no need to say anything else, not that I wanted to say anything else.

Tanaka, being an amazing senpai, interrupted our staring contest and got the game going again. This time though, Oikawa would be playing.

But we wouldn't lose in a practice match at the very least. That much I wanted to make sure of. It just seemed that I had underestimated how good Oikawa was at serving.

It was the same as canon, Hinata challenged him and received the serve even though it was rather sloppy. The ball was high enough for us to do the quick.

I set the ball to Hinata and he spiked it right beside Oikawa's head. Ending the match.

The surprise was rolling of Oikawa's body in waves but was quickly replaced by something else, curiosity.

That was likely the only reason he confronted me outside, alone.

Something that terrified me to no end.

"You've really improved haven't you Tobio-chan?" He began innocently, no doubt already trying to figure me out.

Stop it. Stop talking to me.

"Yeah well, it's been a few years." I replied back, putting my shaking hands in my pockets to hide them from Oikawa.

Stop it, I don't want to talk to you. Go away.

Oikawa hummed. "True, true. But you know, I'm really curious about something."

"What is it?" I asked, fully aware that my thoughts were spiralling down the rabbit hole.

Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

Oikawa looked me in the eye, his friendly mask completely gone.

"Are you really Tobio-chan?"