Well hello there ;)
This is a slightly random drabble-ish fic, so if you're confused by the end of it, review or PM me and I'll explain.
If there are any mistakes you spot or improvements you think I should make, please tell me – I'll love you forever =)
disclaimer: i don't own =(
You love him. You trust him implicitly – you're the only one who can. Because, as much as you love him, you know him, so you don't expect much. You watch him yearn after another. You hold him when he cries at night. Yes, he cries. He can flip the switch back and forth. He is as cold as ice during the day, but at night, with you, he cries. So you hold him when he cries at night, no matter how much it breaks your heart.
His brother warned you against him – told you the stories of the one who'd broken him, and the ones he's broken. You believed him, but it didn't change the fact that he'd been there for you when nobody else was. When you were alone. He'd brought you home and loved you. He'd let you stay when you told him you had nowhere else to go. He'd let you become a part of his life.
You know this is a lie, a delusion. An elaborate façade which you'd created for yourself, just so there would be the smallest droplet of meaning in your life. Your whole life was a lie, and you knew it, but you didn't cry at night. It was almost as if you'd created a switch inside of you – and turned it off. This was part of the façade too. You felt. You whispered your love to him every night as he cried or slept in your arms. You had no limits when it came to what you would do for him – even when this placed your life in the unstable hands of his thirst.
The only thing you could not stand for was compulsion. Free will was important to you. You'd had it taken away from you for too long before you met him. The straightforward answer to this would be vervain – but you couldn't bear that. That was like taking his free will away from him. So instead you used trust – a much more welcome alternative. And important to him. The most important thing to him. And you have to give it freely to receive it. You trust him enough that you don't need to wear vervain, and he trusts you enough not to have to compel you. It's a hard line to walk, but you manage.
He trusts you enough to tell you everything – his hopes, his fears. The fears he has for the one he loves. He knows they are coming, for her, so he watches, and listens, and prays she will be safe. But how can you pray to a god you don't believe in?
So they came. To the house. The house you shared with his brother and him. To the house where you shared your life with his brother and him. They know these brothers will fight to the death for her. But they don't know about you. They don't know how you will fight to protect him as he will her.
He hears them coming. He hears them and trembles. He hears that there are too many to fight. Too many for even the slightest chance of survival. He thinks of her, how he will fail to protect her, and he weeps. He thinks of you.
You hear them downstairs, smashing and breaking. Hurting the house of so many memories. You look into his eyes – his burning blue eyes. You hear him whisper apologies through the tears. You mumble half formed, meaningless reassurances to him, but your brain doesn't comprehend what he is apologising for. Until it clicks. You start to protest, but it does no good. You hear the words he speaks, but you try so hard to block out their meaning. You can't let yourself understand. All the while you are drowning in the fire of his ice blue eyes. He kisses you, long and deep.
And then he speaks the words that send you running.
You run and run – out the back way so they don't see you. You keep running through the tears. You can't stop –
No matter how much you scream.
You wake up in an unfamiliar place – people asking you frantic questions: where you came from, who you were. You don't know the answers to these questions, but there is a nagging at the back of your mind. Something you've forgotten. Something important. Something so important you'd lay your life down for it…him. A face flooded your mind. It was beautiful. With pale skin and dark hair – the face of an angel. There were tears flowing from his smouldering blue eyes. You…you loved him. But why was he so sad?
If only you could remember his name.
Review pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, Huge love, Salvat-wh-ore xx
Ps…who can't wait for 27/01/11? Matt or Tyler for Caroline? And what's gonna happen to Rose? PM me for TVD chats ;)
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