Author's Unimportant Note: I've never really written a Firefly fanfic before, so that part might be shitty. Just a warning. Oh yeah, there's some sexual references throughout this fic so if you're under the age of 55, you might not want to read this.

"What is it?"

"I don't know."

Parker peered at the mysterious object as Nate slowly pulled it out from a couple of loose boards in the floor. Sophie had tripped on air and the thickness of her skull had caused one of the floorboards to spontaneously combust. Eliot noticed a smooth, round object poking from in the hole, and had grunted.

The object was was pretty big, a little taller than Nate's waist. It was dark, creepy black with a smooth rim with no inner parts, kind of like a mirror without the glass. At the bottom the rim curved to form legs for the circle, short but thick. Right above the legs, in the center, there was a small gray button.

"Holy shit. I dare someone to press the button." Hardison giggled, putting his hand to his mouth. He nudged a disgruntled Eliot out of the way to get a closer look.

"No. The button could hold some electrical force that could possibly probably kill you with its scientificness." Sophie tried to sound smart, and Hardison looked up at the tea drinker with wide eyes. "You're right." He stood up, brushed off his jeans, and went over to hide behind Sophie.

"Damnit Hardison!" Eliot yelled, raising his hands. "If you keep encouraging her she's going to keep spewing this bullshit!"

"Sowry." Hardison didn't move.

Meanwhile, Parker was busy rapidly pressing the button. "It's not doing anything. It's broken."

Nate snatched her hand away. "You might get electrocuted, like Sophie said." Eliot slammed his head on a table for a massive headdesk, but nobody cared or said anything.

Finally, after many moments of awkward silence, Justin Bieber was born.

Nate crawled over to the object, squinting at the large, empty hole. Eliot suddenly thought of a funny joke. "It's almost as tight as Sophie." He chuckled.

As Sophie and Nate glared at him, Parker looked around, eyes wide. "I don't get it." Hardison slowly leaned to whisper what it meant in her ear, but this was probably just an excuse to touch her.

Parker's eyes got even wider. "Wait, how does Eliot know how tight Sophie's vagina is?" She whipped her head around. "Did you all get a peek and not tell me?"

"Yep." Eliot grunted, not bothering to stop the joke. "About the size of Kansas." He attempted a shitty drawing of Kansas with his index fingers before continuing. "But I'm the only one who got to stick something in. Couldn't feel a thing, like a crappy condom. Almost like I was humping air."

"ELIOT!" Sophie shouted. "Stop spreading that hogwash! Bloody hell!" She started to hyperventilate. "Nate, fetch my tea." She said as she collapsed on the couch. Nate quickly ran to make her some disgusting tea, and soon returned, spilling most of it. Sophie threw the hot liquid at his exposed face when she tasted it. "I WANTED PEPPERMINT, NATE. YOU KNOW THAT! BLOODY HELL!"

"You wanted a condom too, but I told you there wouldn't be a point because I wouldn't be orgasming." Eliot grunted.

Nate turned to face him, his face red from the burning tea that was starting to fizzle and steam on his face. "Eliot, shut up. You didn't fuck Sophie, you've never seen ANYTHING of importance on her, so shut up."

Sophie raised up to her elbows. "Wait, so my vagina and boobs are the only thing important, Nate?"

Nate stopped dead and started to bang his palm on his head. "Shit. Shit. Shit." He paced back and forth before stopping at Sophie. "Not what I meant. It's your PERSONALITY that attracts men, not your boobs."

"LOL. That's a good one Nate." Hardison giggled. Nate turned his steamy face to Hardison, the redness causing the computer geek to flinch.

Suddenly, a flash of light stunned the Leverage team. Parker was holding the circular object, which was apparently now turned on. There was a blueish purple transparent field waving in the middle. Parker's eyes were wide. "Guys, I know what this is! It's a time machine!"

"What? That's ridiculous. I've been trying to to find the secret of time travel for years." Hardison rolled his eyes.

"No, look!" Parker pointed to the button. "There's a design on the button. It's a Flux Capacitor!" She waved the time machine around rapidly, too quick for anyone to see it properly.

"How'd you turn it on?" Sophie had gotten over her anger and was nervously peering at the machine from behind the couch.

"With the plug." Parker held up a cord that she had plugged into the wall socket.

"HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE THAT?" Nate headdesked.

"So, anyway." Parker continued, ignoring Nate and hugging the machine against her chest. "I think someone should go in it. Its just barely big enough to fit a person." At this, she gently placed it face up on the floor.

"No. Fucking. Way." Sophie raised a crooked finger at the machine, her eyes gleaming. "I think it's evil."

"GOD SOPHIE. Don't be such a fucking baby." Eliot shouted, grabbing the British woman by her shirt collar and shoving her into the circle. The circle seemed to pull her inside of it, and in a second she was gone.

Eliot staggered back. "Har har har. It 'pulled' her inside of it."

"This isn't funny, Eliot." Nate snapped. He cautiously leaned down to inspect the object. It had returned to normal. "I wonder where she went."

"INTO THE FUTURE." Parker whipped around, raising her finger to point at the ceiling. "WE MUST FOLLOW."

"Bullshit. I ain't getting into that thing, mayne." Hardison scrambled out of his hiding place behind Eliot.

"Damnit Hardison! Don't be such a fucking baby!" Eliot screamed, grabbing Hardison by the shoulders and pushing him in the circle. You could hear Hardison's girly scream echo all the way down.

Nate's eyes were saucers. "Er, um, I hope I don't like offended you Eliot," He shuffled his feet and picked at a fingernail. "But I don't really, like think it would possibly be a good idea to go in there."

Eliot gave a small grunt, and after a few more seconds of silence finally reacted again. "DAMNIT NATE! Don't be such a fucking baby!" Eliot hurtled towards him, but Nate screamed and ran away from him. After about a three minute chase, Eliot finally caught the alcoholic and slammed him into the time machine. Unfortunately, the motion caused Eliot to trip and fall in after him.

And then there was Parker. She stood for a moment before finally taking in one last breath of air and running towards the circle. Then, with one final step, she leaped into the air, landing a smooth entrance right into the opening.

"AND TO THE FUTURE WE GO!"