I could barely see where I was going as I stumbled up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. My eyes stung and my throat was tight. I finally got to my room, but I barley passed the threshold before I collapsed, gasping for air. I lay on the cold floor hugging my knees trying, in vain, to hold myself together. I was already thinking about him so why try and stop. I took the horrible image of Ron kissing Lavender, and turned it into something beautiful. I imagined myself in her place. It made me happy and I smiled crying tears of imaginary happiness.
I fell asleep, on the cold floor, with a smile on my tear stained face. I dreamt of him holding me. Just holding me, nothing else. It was wonderful.
When I woke up it was still dark outside. I thought about my dream, thought about how she didn't have to dream, how for her it was real. I burst into tears again. When would it stop? It seemed as if I asked myself this question every night. Would I ever be able to close my eyes without seeing his face behind my lids?
Okay, sorry about the depressing fiction. I was really depressed about this guy and I was laying in bed feeling bad for myself. Then I kinda snapped and started crying. After like 15 minutes I stopped crying and decided that crying wouldn't help and that I would just wait for him to see what was right in front of him. Then I started smiling... It was really strange and the next day I woke up depressed again. I don't really know why I was all depressed and then why I started smiling... It was almost sadistic, if that makes sense. Anyway, this was my attempt to untangle my feelings... It didn't work. *sigh*