Name: Chantellarella Bing-Bong

Nickname: Chanty BB

Age:13

Year: 3rd

House: Slytherin

Personality: all

MONDAY, COMMON ROOM, 7.15PM

Chanty BB stared at her Defence against the Dark Art essay. She got a P (poor) in her last test but was doing better because Draco Malfoy was tutoring her in his spare time. She needed to pee so ditched Malfoy to go to the "Lav."

Not lavender Brown now. Chanty BB did not like Lavender Brown. Lav is British slang for Lavatory, which is a fancy name for a toilet…

On her way to the toilet she spotted Dean Thomas. God he was epic.

Just Look at his epicness!! His epicness was too overpowering for the poor Slytherin. She fainted.

Days later Chanty BB awoke in a room with sunlight streaming through the windows. She sat bolt upright and stared. Was that Dobby??!! Suddenly a boy with messy black hair and round glasses came in. He also has a disfiguring scar on his forehead that looked like something you might get if you barely survived a curse given to you by an evil dark Lord named Lord Voldemort. But that was only a guess; she couldn't be sure.

"Oh hello," he said Britishly. "I'm Harry Potter."

She stared at his glasses. God they were round. So round infact they were circular.

"Why are your glasses so round Harry Potter?" she asked curiously.

"Oh," he replied "Because I like them round"

She smiled until she saw the crest on his robes.

"Why are you a Gryffindor?" she asked

"Because that's what the sorting hat put me in" he said.

She got up and boxed him in the face.

"Stupid glasses" she said strutting, yes strutting out of the hospital wing.

Harry Potter sighed dreamily after her. "I should get a cat…"

Chanty BB was still a little dazed from the whole fainting incident. Goddamn Dean Thomas and his epicness!! She was so dazed in fact she somehow found herself in front of the room of requirement of a sudden without knowing how she got there. She shrugged and went inside.

Loud music and laughter suddenly erupted. There was a party going on in here.

She walked into the middle of a group of people. Draco Malfoy was there.

"I'll help you with you homework later" he said. He would be a nice ferret she thought.

Suddenly everyone started to dance. They were rolling there arms around so Chanty BB joined in.

Harry Potter then burst into the room and yelled

"SCREW THIS! LETS DO THE MACERENA!!"

he shouted at the the top of his voice.

Everyone stared at him and started doing the Hoedown Throw down by Miley Cyrus. Ew.

Afterwards irish music started to play and irish dancers got up out of nowhere and started to do riverdance

Chanty BB noticed that the main male dancer just happened to be Seamus Finnegan, a friend of Dean Thomas. He must rock too..Well he IS Irish.

Irish people, as you probably know, are awesome. In fact they are very awesome. In fact Irish people are right behind Otakus in the line of world domination. It was their strong Irishness that made them so epic. Irishness smells like minty shamrocks.

And Seamus Finnigan Chanty BB noticed as he lead the riverdance had quite a whiff of minty shamrocks. Must be the aftershave, she thought.

Chanty BB felt around in the back pocket of her Slytherin robes and pulled out a tin whistle to which she started playing the britches full of stitches. Seamus Finnigan stared at her. Wow she was so awesome she must be Irish. But she was not, in fact, she was British; just like Dean Thomas. In fact, she also supported West Ham…not that she knew who they were, her being pure blood and all but she did like West Ham. And Dean Thomas. Because he was epic.

She felt so overpowered by a feeling of epicness she fainted. again.

When she woke up she was in the hospital. Again. She looked around hoping not to see Harry Potter. Yay, she thought, No Harry Potter. She suddenly wished to see Dean Thomas because she felt she needed some good epicness to cheer her up from the thought of Harry Potter.

During dinner that night she spotted Seamus surrounded by his fellow dancers. She had noticed he had a tin whistle in his stood up knocking over several first years and a cup.

"I CHALLENGE YOU SEAMUS FINNIGAN TO A TIN WHISTLE OFF"

He grabbed his tin whistle and she grabbed hers.

The played all night until Professor Dumbledore had to break them up. He looked somewhat different then the last time that Chanty BB last saw him. He looked like a punk rocker. As Seamus went to his common room Dumbledore skipped off singing

"Oh I wish I was a punk rocker, with flowers in my hair"

She had nightmares that night about the disturbing scene she had just witness. But not as disturbing as a certain something she had stumbled on earlier that week

WoooooooFlashBaaack~

Chanty BB was standing in front of the room of requirement. She was quite startled as the noises coming from it were ones she hadn't heard much before. It was quite strange.

"Are you sure this is your first time Remus?"

"Sirius, why would I ever I ever lie to you…"

"Good point…Oh faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can! Some things take time you know!"

"But nothing's coming out!"

"Harder then, harder! Help me. We''ll both stimulate it together,"

"Ooh,"

"Is it supposed to look like that?"

"Mine's bigger,"

"Of course it is,"

At this point Chanty BB could not take anymore. She flung open the door to corner the two men and confront the noises she had been hearing.

"LOOK YOU FREAKS-"

However, what she saw was not what her disturbing mental images led her to believe.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were standing in front of a table holding a large bottle of black ink. They were both applying a lot of pressure to get it to come out. However, the sorry mess that did…was just that. A sorry mess. They were doing lino printing.

"The hell?"

Sirius placed his hands on his slim hips and drew himself to full height.

"Why hello little child. Can we help you?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Remus Lupin,"

"And I'm Seriously Sexy Sirius,"

"You mean Sirius Black escaped prisoner of azkaban wanted mass murderer killer of many things, cousin of the deranged bellatrix lestrange, wanted felon and owner of your own army of evil fruit minions?"

"Yes,"

Dear God that was disturbing. Sirius Black should not be allowed to linoprint! She would be stuck with that image all week!

End of flashback wooooo~

That flashback was…odd. And indeed it was.

Indeed is a cool word. Indeed..Indeeed. She liked Sirius black. She was a dog. No really he was an animagus. He could transform into a dog. Woof. Indeed.

She decided to get some cake. Cake was better then pie because pie was made from real pies. That thought was even more disturbing then the Dumbledore thing but not as worse as the Linoprint thing. Than was just wrong…

After the cake-getting she went back to the Slytherin common room to find a deranged Pansy Parkinson singing

"Hit Me Baby One More Time"

In a high pitched Irish accent on a large table in the middle of the common room. What was even worse was the fact that she was wearing. A large yellow flowery frock and an over sized diaper on her head.

"What are you doing Pansy Parkinson?" I asked

"I had a vision that if I did this, Draco Malfoy would propose to me" she told me.

"Ok" she said

and walked off to find professor Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledor listing her singing Now your gone by basshunter.

Pansy Parkinson Rocks.

Draco suddenly ran into the room. Pansey's high pitched Irish accent became even higher-pitched and more Irisher. However Draco took no notice of her.

"I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE NOT BEING AS EPIC AS DEAN THOMAS" and with that he threw himself off the astronomy tower and fell to his death. Professir Trelawny was called in for a lawsuit as she was supposed to predict this kind of thing. But in her defence she was busy raising her Xatu on Pokemon Platinum Version.

Chanty BB wondered how she was going to get over this tragic loss of her 'friend' and tutor.

But in fact Draco was not dead. He came back into the great hall the next morning where Chanty BB was eating her Cherios and spicy marmalde and sat down beside her. He was perfectly fine apart from a few broken ribs, a little heart failure and he seemed to think he was a duck slash 80s disco DJ slash Pokemon Master.

"I Ash Ketchum, Duck Extraordinaire send out Ferret!" He yelled throwing a beach ball at Harry Potter.

Pokemon battle music starts to play out of nowhere

Wild Harry Potter appeared

"scar, scar, scar"

Pokemon trainer Draco Malfoy sends out Ferret.

Ferret died for no reson.

Trainer Draco Malfoy sendes out..Himself..?

"Pure blood-Puuure"

Wild Harry Potter uses Scratch

Draco loses 2 hp.

Draco uses Avada Kedavra

Wild Harry Potter is kept alive by his ability LoveFromeHisMother

Draco fled.