Gilderoy Lockhart and The Chamber of Secrets
"..and that was when I realised my only option was to save the hapless group of wizards and let the vile dark sorceress escape." The room was deadly silent save for the sharp intakes of breath among the classmates, seated around none other than Gilderoy Lockhart's desk. Eagerly awaiting the conclusion to his latest riveting tale, the whole class seemed to inch forward in their chairs towards his desk, their eyes never leaving him.
One student dared to raise his hand and speak up. "P-Professor, I assume you didn't let her go… did you?" As if working under one mind, the whole class turned in their chairs to the source of the interruption, staring the boy down coldly for even daring to question the Great Lockhart.
Rising from behind the desk, Gilderoy cleared his throat and chuckled, revealing his boyish grin for a moment, melting the hearts of the female students in the classroom. "My dear boy, Draco was it?"
"Yes sir…"
"Draco. I did what any great wizard would have done in my position. I exploited the sorceresses' greatest strength and turned it into her greatest weakness." Moving around the desk, the pupils seemed to part before him, giving him space enough to perch himself on the edge of the desk, clasping his hands together and glancing upwards as if actually remembering this fabricated lie. "You see this particular sorceress was quite adept at the Confundus Charm, basically a confusion spell. I knew she was going to use this spell on me and I didn't have much time to think, my life and the lives of those other wizards were at stake here." The class took in a sharp intake of breath, a quiet murmuring washing over them. "She raised her wand, and began reciting the spell…" At this point the murmuring had risen to the point where audible gaps could faintly be heard, silenced suddenly as Lockhart jumped up from the desk, slamming his fist into the desk for dramatic effect. "Bam! By the time she had finished her incantation, I had expertly performed a shield spell on myself, her Confundus charm harmlessly ricocheting off the shield and, by a rather happy coincidence, headed straight towards her. The charm was so strong; she could barely form any cohesive thought on her own. She was so bad in fact, that I convinced her to let the wizards go herself and to turn herself into the authorities. The Ministry were so impressed they had no choice but to appoint me the posting as Headmaster of Hogwarts. I graciously declined of course, stating that a simple teaching job would suffice."
The class was no less than astonished as Lockhart concluded his tale of heroism and bravery in the face of certain doom, a few of them, including Dean Thomas and Harry Potter, going so far as to stand and applaud. Raising his voice over the claps and cheers from the students, his grin began to grow and he ran a hand through his curly, blonde locks. "And that is how I became your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Putting on his signature grin, he turned slightly to the right as if in a photo shoot, the class standing in unison, joining in with the applause.
For Gilderoy Lockhart, life was good.