Bakura's first trip to the mall!
Idea inspired by Meowzy-chan. Thank you! Hope you like the story!
"It's Monday morning. No…school." Bakura groaned.
"Bakura school's canceled forever." Ryou said.
Bakura woke up. "Dammit!" He screamed.
"Bakura…we're not going to school today. We're watching a scary movie in school and I don't want people to know I'm scared." Ryou said.
"Then…let's go out somewheres!" Bakura said happily. "It's ok to be afraid. Now, when you piss yourself…that's a different story." He said.
"Thanks…I feel better." Ryou said sarcastically.
"Where we gonna go! Where we gonna go! Where we gonna go!" Bakura asked quickly jumping in circles.
You're gonna—
Bakura jumped really hard and dropped the floor under him falling on the girl's cat.
"It wasn't me I swear!" Bakura screamed at the girl who was mourning at the loss of her cat.
Ryou slapped his head.
"You know…you do that a lot. I won't be surprised you have brain damage." Bakura said.
Ryou groaned and walked out the door.
"So Ryou what are we gonna do today? Restaurant? The beach? Ice skating rink?" Bakura asked.
"We're banned from all those places." Ryou said.
Bakura looked around. "It's ok Ryou. Lots of people get banned from places. Not like me…I've never been banned from anything while you have you bad bad boy." He said.
"You're the reason why we got banned!" Ryou screamed.
"Ryou shh shh it's ok to admit it was your fault." Bakura said patting his head.
Ryou fumed and calmed down. Remember what the doctor said.
"Where are we going!" Bakura screamed loudly.
"To the mall!" Ryou screamed louder.
"The mall! I want to go too!" Marik said running in.
Ryou stared at Marik. "Don't you have to go to school?" He asked.
"Not when my two best buddies in the who-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo---
7 hours later
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o—o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oole world! Hey…where'd they go?" He asked.
Bakura was annoying Ryou singing the "uncensored" nursery rhythms that Yami Marik had taught him.
"Shut the hell up!" Ryou yelled angrily.
A lady slapped him. "My baby was near you! If he says that word…I will sue you." The lady said.
"Mommy I wanna go to hell." Her little girl said.
Ryou took off running.
"Bakura! There you are!" Marik said catching up to him.
Whoa...did I…really become friends with him. I…I see those little germs! The germs! They've betrayed me! My spray! Fuck! Dammit! Shit! Cock! I left my spray at home! I'm doomed! Bakura took off running away from Marik.
"Bakura! I…I thought me were true friends! Peanut butter and jelly, tube sock to a shoe, bread to ham and cheese and mayonnaise and mustard and…mmm I want a sandwich now…let's go to subways. Subway eat fresh." Marik said skipping off to subways.
Bakura caught up with Ryou who was already inside the mall.
"Oh…my…Ra!" Bakura said breathless.
"Five, four, three, two, one." Ryou counted.
"This is soooo cool! Oh my Ra Ryou! How come you never brought me here?1 This have like all the cool…little thingy thingies where you can play Nintendo and—gasps—FOOD! Real food!" Bakura screamed running to the food court.
Ryou walked over to the pet store and purchased a leash and a collar.
Bakura was picking off of everyone's food and jumping over counters stealing boiling fries.
"Bakura—whistles—here boy." Ryou said patting his thighs.
Bakura lifted his head from a tray and saw Ryou calling him. He ran over to him sitting down on the floor like an obedient little dog sticking out his tongue and panting.
"Wanna see the video games?" Ryou asked petting Bakura.
"Yea! Yea! Yea!" Bakura panted running around in circles. He took off running to a video game store.
"Ooh I want this! Marik has this…so I don't want it! I want this thingy thingy! With this thingamabob! A thingamaggiger. Oooh I want whatever this is and…that guy!" Bakura said quickly twitching.
He stuck everything in his shirt and got slapped by Ryou.
"No! You can't have that! You have to pay. Stealing is bad Bakura." Ryou said.
Bakura whimpered sadly.
"Mr. Bakura! You totally left me back there!" Marik screamed
"Ahh! It's him again! Keep him away! He has more germs than ever now!" Bakura screamed chucking games at Marik's head.
"I thought you liked him." Ryou said.
"Yea because I got high. Because I got high because I got high. La la la la la la di da! I was gonna dance around before I got high oooo. I was gonna kick and spin around…but when I got high why man ay hey. It's because I was high…I was so high. So motherfucking high. La la la la di da doo." Bakura sang.
"So…you were high? You really didn't like me?" Marik sniffed.
Bakura shook his head quickly. "Get the fuck away I'm not armed." He said.
"That little bitch!" A German germ squeaked.
"I know! Saying he made a piece treaty. My big fucking ass beech! (bitch)" Another German germ said.
"I saw we attack the rear!" A british germ said.
"What the fuck! Who the fuck are you! Get the fuck out of here!" A German germ said.
"Righto! I shall call my men and—
They attacked the little British germ and started a campfire.
"Oh Susanna won't you cry for me, well I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee." A German germ sang as they feasted on the British germ.
Bakura saw a store that said, "Bubble boy."
"I must go there." He said.
Marik closed in on Bakura. "You're lying you do like me!" He smiled.
Bakura held his breath. "It's hell all over again. Well I'm going in." He inhaled and tackled Marik to the floor getting up and running to the bubble boy store.
"Al…most…there……………………--just then…THE GERMS ATTACKED!—
Bakura fell to the floor in slow motion right in front of the store being piled on by German germs. "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o" He said in a deep low slow voice.
Marik and Ryou watched Bakura slowly hit the ground dramatically. Everyone passed by him looking at him scream at nothing.
Ryou moved away from Marik and walked to Bakura.
Bakura coughed dramatically. "Ry-Ryou…is…is that you?" Bakura asked. He coughed. "It…it looks like…I—coughs—might not…ma-make it." He coughed again. "I…I want you…to…take good care of yourself Ryou. Remember…with great power…--coughs—comes great responsibility." Bakura said dramatically and fainting.
It all went silent.
"You got that from the Spiderman movie." Ryou said.
"Well it fit the scene." Bakura said waking up and spraying himself to kill the germs.
"Ahh…help me! Help! We…we were…really close this time. Noo!" The germs screamed dying and dissolving.
He went into the bubble boy store and got a bubble that fit him perfectly to shield himself from Marik's germs.
"Niet! Damn! I thought that cursed bubble was gone for good because that lamp Yami Marik. popped it!" The German germ chief said.
"Unfortunately not. They got a bloorgarshmitz left." The German germ said.
"Bloograrshmitz is not a word you idiot!" The German head chief germ said.
"It…it sounded cool." The germ said.
"Kill him. Off with his head!" The head honcho German germ said.
"No! Please! My kids are being born! My wife had a terrible accident and she's dead! I need to take care of my 4002 kids. They will not survive! Please spare me!" The German germ pleaded.
"Take him out of my sight. I love Lucy is starting." The head chief said.
"You bitch!" The German germ screamed.
Bakura started laughing at the commotion of the germs and saw his head get cut off. "Nani nani boo boo!" He screamed.
"Marik!" Joey screamed scaring them all.
"Aha! Marik pissed himself!" Bakura laughed.
"I went out of control!" Marik cried.
"I'm calling you out Marik." Joey said.
"Calling me out of what?" Marik asked.
"Cheerleading!" Joey screamed.
"You're blushing." Marik said folding his arms.
"It's bluffing." Ryou corrected him.
"And there goes super nerd Ryou correcting people. Way to go Ryou." Marik said twirling his finger in the air.
Ryou grumbled.
"Let's see what you got sho-o—o-rty!" Marik said.
"I'm 4 inches taller than you Marik." Joey said.
"Shut up! Just shut up go home Marik." Bakura said laughing at him.
Joey called his crew. "A five, six, seven eight!" "We're dynamite we're out of sight we go…
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick
BOOM dynamite
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Dyna-mite!
The mall went quiet and said loudly "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Sucks ass!" Marik screamed when they were finished. "Watch the master. Watch the Kaijudo master!" Marik screamed making way.
"Kaijudo master? What the fuck?" Bakura said.
"Here are your scripts guys. Bakura…I know there's a true cheerleading blond in you waiting to be unleashed. Show me your girl power!" Marik screamed. He sang the powerpuff girls theme song.
Everyone cocked an eyebrow.
"Courtney?" Ryou read.
"I hate that name." Mairk said. "…Can I be Courtney!" He screamed.
"It's your cheer." Ryou said.
"Alright dudes. Get ready." Marik said.
A little intro started playing on Marik's radio he got out of nowhere.
Marik started singing…horribly…
"I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!
I'm bitchin' great hair the girls all love to stare…
Some girls scare and murmur disgustedly
I'm wanted! I'm hot! I'm everything you're not!
I'm pretty! I'm cool! I dominate this mall!
Marik stopped singing and passed it off to Bakura.
"Who am I just guess girls wanna touch my chest!
I'm rockin'! I smile! And many think I'm vile!
I'm flyin' I jump! You can look but don't you hump! Whoo!"
I'm major, I roar I swear Marik's a whore!"
Marik smiled innocently.
It was Ryou's turn and he didn't sing.
"Ryou! Hello! It's your turn!" Marik screamed.
"We cheer…and we lead. Um…we cat like we're on speed. What the fuck? Um…Don't hate us cause we're beautiful—Ryou looked around at the people who were staring at him Marik and Bakura—I'm beautiful well we don't like you either they're—Ryou pointed at Bakura and Marik—cheerleaders. They're cheerleaders. Roll call?" Ryou sang dully and confused.
"Call me big red!" Marik sang loudly.
"Yu-Yu-Yu-Yugi!" Yugi sang.
"He only did it for the stuttering." Bakura mumbled.
"C-C-C-Courtney…roar." Ryou roared pathetically.
"I WAS COURTNEY!" Marik shouted.
"Dude, it's Ryou!
"I'm Big Bad Yami Yugi." Yami Yugi said.
Everyone got quiet and stared at Yami Yugi walking away in shame.
"Yea walk bitch." Bakura said.
"Just call me Marik! O!" Marik sang
"No what the fuck are the gonna call you Marik, Mary!" Ryou asked screaming.
"I'm still big red!" Marik screamed.
"You were everyone Marik." Ryou said.
Marik growled angrily.
"I sizzle, I scorch and now I pass my torch!
The ballots are in! And one guy had to win!
He's perky, he's fun! And now he's number one!
Kick it Marik! M-M-M-MARIK!" Marik sang.
Everyone clapped in the mall and cheered for…Ryou.
"Ryou! Ryou! Ryou!" They chanted.
"I'm…loved!" Ryou sniffed.
"No! It's Marik! Marik Marik Marik!" Marik screamed trying to start them to chant.
"And it's like I was never here right!" Bakura screamed.
"Who is that voice? I've never heard of it." Marik said.
Bakura and Ryou slapped their heads.
Ryou dropped down in a seizure from slapping his head so much.
"Now it's seizures! What next Ryou dying completely!" Bakura asked.
Ryou foamed at the mouth and laid on the floor.
"He's not breathing! I know…what I must do." Marik said dramatically.
He did the Heimlich maneuver on Ryou to get him to breathe.
"Marik you're—ewww" Bakura interrupted himself when he saw the German germs.
"Ryou wake up I have to bitch at you!" Marik screamed beating him.
Ryou woke up from his "coma" and coughed.
"You ruined my cheer! You little bitch! I woulda been on malls hall of shame!" Marik shouted.
"Fame." Ryou corrected.
"Now you think you're smart! Well I got for you mister! I'm 12 years old and I can beat you up!" Marik shouted.
"You're 16 Marik." Ryou said calmly.
"Oooooh." The mall people said.
Marik growled and started slapping Ryou. "Eh! Eh! Eh!" Marik grunted.
Ryou slapped back. "E! E! Ee!" Ryou grunted.
Bakura grabbed his spray and sprayed Ryou during the killer fight.
"Don't worry Ryou—He sprayed Ryou—you're totally—sprays him again—protected—sprays a lot this time—whoa! Ryou get out of there that's the mother load!" Bakura said.
Ryou pulled Marik's hair and stopped him.
Marik's wig came off to unveil……..
The mall gasped.
The same hair he had on.
"Why did you have an identical replica of your hair?" Ryou asked.
"Oh! I'm bald! The spilt ends! The baldness! Ryou…I hate you! I never wanna see you again!" Marik cried.
"That's a load off my chest." Ryou said sighing.
"Yes! Now we won't ever see him again!" Bakura said happily now in his bubble.
They walked in the mall for 1 minute and Marik came running back to them.
"What's up homie R and B doggie dog skillet fish lima beans? Yo Yo yo! Haven't seen you in like 30 years!" Marik said surprised.
Ryou looked at his watch. "It hasn't even been a fucking minute yet I thought you hated me." Ryou said.
"Now when would I ever say that? I love you guys." Marik said hugging Ryou and Bakura's bubble.
"Ha! I'm totally protected!" Bakura screamed.
"Damn you!" The German germs screamed.
"Dude Marik get some new germs man. Those German germs they're getting up to here with me." Bakura said pointing at his head.
"I happen to like Germans. Live with it." Marik said folding his arms and petting his germs.
"I'm still trying to find out how the flying fuck you could see, hear, talk, and pet germs!" Ryou screamed.
"Well, Marik's germs are like WAPONG! They're huge ass germs! Dude they're like fucking bigger than my ass…and I…got a pretty big ass." Bakura said rubbing his butt.
"No…you don't." Ryou said.
"If that's what you are what am I!" Marik screamed.
Everyone stayed quiet.
"I like pudding." Marik said curling his hair.
"Dumbass." Ryou and Bakura grumbled.
"Steak! Get your free steak! Anyone want some steak! Nice juicy and bloody! Done medium! Get your steak!" Some guy shouted.
"Oooh!" Bakura screamed rolling himself over to the guy. "I WANT ONE!" He screamed eagerly drooling.
The guy saw Bakura open his mouth and put the steak on the bubble. He saw it wasn't going through so he tried again. He tried to stick it in Bakura's mouth again and started slapping the bubble with the steak. "Damn steak! Why won't you get in his mouth!" He screamed.
Ryou slapped his head and deflated Bakura's bubble. "There you go genius." Ryou said sarcastically.
"Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a—aait!" Marik screamed. "Put this on your steak" He said passing him some A1 steak sauce.
Bakura put some steak sauce on and chewed his steak. When it was nice and mushy he spit it back out in Marik's face making sure it landed all over his face leaving now empty spaces. "My masterpiece." He said cupping his hands.
Marik wiped steak off his face and ate the mushy steak from his hands.
"You were trying to kill me huh! Giving me disgusting sauce! You make me sick! Trying to kill my like that! You little bitch!" Bakura screamed.
Bakura continued screaming and Marik was thinking. I wonder what steak is made of…. Bakura has a pointy nose. Gasp! What's that! I have dirt in my nail…hmm….that's actually pretty clean.
"Are you listening to me!" Bakura creamed.
"Are you…dead?" Marik asked.
Ryou went to slap his forehead when he stopped in his tracks.
Marik looked at him waiting for Ryou to slap himself.
When he saw he didn't he grabbed Ryou's hand and forced himself to hit his forehead making him get a seizure and allowing him to do the Heimlich maneuver.
"It went from choking to seizures to CPR to Heimlich maneuver." Bakura said injecting Ryou with something to stop his seizure.
Bakura rolled on away from Ryou and saw an All-You-Can-Eat-Casserole store.
He gasped loudly and shuddered. "That satanic food! It still haunts me! I know what I must do." He said narrowing his eyes.
Ryou walked keeping his distance from Marik and heard the intercom scream loudly "Ryou Bakura please come to the All-You-Can-Eat-Casserole store. That's Ryou Bakura please come to the Casserole store."
Ryou ran to the store and saw Bakura tossing all the casserole in the middle of the store and burning it with a flamethrower.
"To hell where you belong!" Bakura screamed laughing evilly.
"Yami Alexander Bakura!" Ryou screamed furiously.
"His middle named Alexander!" Marik screamed laughing hysterically.
"Shut the fuck up Marik you're middle name is Maria." Yami Marik said. "Marik Maria Ishtar."
"No!" Marik screamed crying.
"What the hell do you think you're doing! This is not yours! It's casserole! I buy the casserole here! Do you know what you just did!" Ryou asked Bakura angrily.
Bakura turned his head sadly and sniffed sticking out his bottom lip and makes his eyes big and watery.
"Well do you! You look at me—look at me!" Ryou screamed.
Bakura started sniffing. "I…I…me…sowwy." He said sadly.
"Sorries not cutting it this time mister! What are you going to do now?" Ryou asked.
Bakura started crying hysterically and fell on the ground kicking and screaming. "I said I was sowwy! The casserole possessed me into doing it! I had no control! It was the casserole! It was my corrupted colon!" He cried.
Ryou slapped Bakura. "You're a bad boy. When we get home you're going into time out. Bad boy." Ryou said hitting his arm.
"I'm calling 1-800 child abuse on you!" Bakura cried leaving the mall with Ryou grabbing his arm.
"Bakura got in trouble. Bakyra got in trouble." Marik sang.
"Shut up Maria!" Bakura screamed.
Marik cried and ran home.
They got home and Ryou out Bakura in a corner with a box of casserole.
"You will learn to love it and cherish it like friendship and family! You are not to leave this corner till I see some reflection! I better hear you talking to that box." Ryou said slamming the door to his room.
"I better hear you talking to that box. I better see some reflection. You better see my big fucking ass bitch. I'm not talking to know casserole box." Bakura said angrily folding his arms.
"Bakura! I hear mimicking not talking! You are grounded for a month! No steak! No TV! No nothing! Corner and casserole for you!" Ryou screamed.
"But…but…but Ryou!" Bakura whined.
"No buts now talk!" Ryou screamed.
"So……." Bakura said starting to talk to the casserole box.
Evil casseroles! Corrupting colons. Where do I get these ideas? By the way a little note to Caddyl. I'm very sorry about the Canadian comment. I didn't mean t as racism. I said it because Canada has to my favorite country. Sorry people if I use any state country whatever. If use it be happy it's probably because I like it! By the way, that was funny Seyah Ishtar! I love your review your "Weird…." That was hilarious then you put me as your favorite author. That was funny. Lol. Keep giving me more ideas guys!