I'd like to say I have NOTHING against gays; in fact, I have a few friends who are gay. I respect them, and they respect me. I would just like to point out some people don't like them, and I hate people like that. So, homosexuality was an issue in this story.
A/N: This is a small little fic about Leon leaving Cloud to search for his friends. I really enjoyed writing this; it was like I was transferring my feelings and emotions through this story. But no, no one has left me. Well, not yet anyways. Anywho, throughout this story Cloud will point out highs and lows of Leon leaving, but I think the lows outmatch the highs. But, whatever. Personal opinions.
Summary: Leon has left Cloud again to search for his friends, leaving Cloud reminisce about the highs and lows in their relationship.
WARNINGS: Boy/Boy. Swearing. Gay bashing. Angst. Death.
Song: "Where'd You Go?" – Fort Minor.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy, nor its characters. I don't own or sing the song. Because if I did, it would sound like a donkey was singing, trust me.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Leon had left again that day.
Cloud couldn't believe it.
He had gone out again to some little stupid tasks to find his friends, leaving the blond behind.
But, Cloud wasn't upset or worried, no, no. He was just… er… concerned over Leon's matters? Yeah, concerned. He wasn't worried about Leon saying he couldn't stay with blonde, he knew that day would come. He won't be upset about it when it comes either. Perchance, he might feel better without the brunette to cuddle up with him at the night, without Leon's comforting embraces and kisses and without Leon's worrying complaints about how the blonde should take more care of himself out of battle.
Yeah, he wouldn't miss the brunette at all.
Sigh, who was he kidding?
He just wished maybe once- just once!- the taller boy would stay and, well, settle down with Cloud. But, the blonde knew that dreams were just dreams, not reality. Reality doesn't work out the way you plan it, it normally ends up twisting and turning your life, causing you to rethink your life plans and imaginings again.
He sighed deeply, glancing over to the bright fluorescent light shining from the clock. 1:31 am. Damn.
That was low part of Leon leaving. Rousing in the middle of the night since there was no body warmth beside him. The same body warmth that kept the blonde balmy and fresh. Cloud didn't like that.
But there was a high to that, too. Cloud could sprawl his body across the mattress, taking up as much space as he wanted without a brunette in his bed grumbling about him moving over to his side.
Cloud exhaled exhaustedly again, sliding a hand down his face, leaving a cool, restoring sensation. He relaxed gradually and placed his head slowly onto his pillow, falling into a deep slumber.
He didn't notice the silent tear that fell down his cheek.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long.
The motorcycle trip felt longer today. Cloud had no idea why.
Riding Fenrir always- and he meant always- cheered him up. Feeling the wind flow through his golden locks, feeling the sense of passing everyone with a rapid speed, making them always turn and look and, most of all, feeling the sensation of being able think clearly without any distractions, namely Leon.
The low part was that the brunette would always complain about how Cloud being one step closer to death every time he rode that 'god forsaken motorbike' in those words exactly.
The point was, it annoyed Cloud to no ends about how Leon despised the thought of the blonde dying on that thing- even though most people would be worried for their lover if they were riding a gigantic bike- albeit he had left the blonde alone, without even bothering to say a proper goodbye. Yes, the taller boy had said it, but, he had only said when Cloud was asleep. The blonde had mistaken it for a dream until he had awaken and found no-one beside him.
But…!
The high point was that Cloud had found out that Leon really cared for him, really worried about him, well, that wasn't so bad, in Cloud's opinion.
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
"Hey Cloud, it's me. I'm sorry I'm taking a bit. Just, wait for me, okay? Erm, alright. I'll- I'll see you soon… won't I?" Click.
Cloud frowned, staring at his flip phone disbelievingly.
Leon was going to take away more time? Leon was going to take away more of their precious time that could be spent being together not searching for a meaningless cause?
Cloud sighed, irritated about the sudden change of plans. He angrily shoved his mobile into his back pocket, muttering about how big of a dick Leon was being at the moment.
Leon had fucking left him for one and a half weeks already! And, unfortunately for the blonde (but if the brunette knew this, he would be wearing smug expression) he was going crazy without the brunette! Without Leon, everyday, Cloud found himself closer to the line that evened out insane and sane.
The high point in this situation was, at least, getting some contact from his boyfriend. And, at the very least, the brunette had warned him about taking longer and had asked Cloud to wait, as if suggesting he will come back, the blonde just would have to wait. Also, another high point was that he had heard Leon's voice again, his smooth, velvety tone reverberating through his brain like an endless echo made the blonde feel not so alone anymore, it made him feel loved.
The low point, however, is that Cloud would have to wait longer. Longer! That friggin' bitch better have a good excuse for taking longer than he should.
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Cloud sighed, heaving up his body from bed and walking down to kitchen, preparing himself breakfast, not expecting anyone else to be home. He finished pouring his soy milk into his cup of tea and left, only to sit down at the couch. Wearing only his boxers in the whole process, not needing to worry about heated stares Leon would give him, because said brunette wasn't here.
The blonde chuckled slightly, taking another sip from his drink.
That was a high; he could practically walk around the house naked and not expect any longing stares and glances. He could even get a cup of tea without some hormone crazy brunette checking him out.
But, the low part was that the blonde actually like the glances, liked someone actually thinking he was beautiful, like Leon used to say all the time. Perhaps, he even liked someone checking out his butt whenever he got a drink.
Yeah, maybe he did.
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind.
The music boomed through the house, echoing throughout the home, leaving Cloud to flinch.
Why had even come to this stupid party anyway? It's not like Leon was going to show up and say 'Hi honey! I'm home!'
The blonde snorted at the image of Leon walking up to him with a big, tooth-filled smile, laughing. The brunette never laughed, nor did he grin. Yeah, sure, he smirked and offered the blonde small, tiny genuine smiles, but the smaller boy just wanted something more, why he didn't chuckle or grin even when he was alone with Cloud.
'Meh…' Cloud thought, shaking off all his musings. 'It's not like I laugh often. I suppose, we're similar. More similar than I thought.'
He sauntered around the residence where the party was still flourishing with music and weird dances. The blonde grimaced when nearly everyone he passed started checking him out. The smaller boy knew, if Leon was here, they'd all be begging for mercy, bleeding and pleading. It annoyed Cloud slightly, how he sort of felt nice when people flirted with him, knowing that he would never actually get with the person, just felt good to appear to be 'hot' as most of them said, and then Leon would walk up to him, wrap his arms around the blonde's waist and pretty much growl at the person, where he or she would run off, whimpering.
Nevertheless, the high point was that Leon truly loved him enough and was protective enough of the blonde to not let him become a piece of meat or eye candy for people's pleasure.
Yeah, Cloud liked parties with the brunette, but, unfortunately, the said boy wasn't here, protecting him. Parties weren't the same without Leon sticking to Cloud like superglue.
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
Cloud was starting wonder if he should even bother waiting for Leon.
Tifa had wandered over to him earlier today asking why he should wait for Leon when the brunette never waited for Cloud. The blonde didn't know what to reply back to this with, but he was pretty sure he never left Leon and the brunette had never waited for Cloud.
Wait.
Actually, there was that time, Cloud had left in search of light, and had found it, only to discover Leon was his light. The brunette had heard about this before Cloud came back home and had run off, not bothering to wait for the blonde. He was scared.
Cloud scowled.
There was a low.
Leon had never waited for him.
Never.
Why should he even bother?
Did he see a high?
Perchance, there was a high point in this situation, but Cloud could find none.
He had had it with Leon's stupid friends and the fucking jerk too.
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
The blond couldn't have thought when he cried more.
First, he had found out Leon was taking longer and was not coming back for months.
That was Cloud's snapping point. He could take no more.
Instead of wallowing in self pity, he grabbed his fine and dialed Leon's number, jabbing the numbers fiercely, scowling at the phone when he finally starting calling Leon.
He wasn't surprised when he got Leon's answering machine.
"Leon here. Leave a message. I'll call you back."
"Leon…" Cloud began, sniffing slightly. He swallowed the sobs that were threatening to erupt from his throat. "I've had enough of this… enough of waiting for you to come back home. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm leaving you, Leon. Then, you can finally see how it feels to be left alone." Snap.
Cloud sighed, scratching his nape. Where to now? This was Leon's house; he would have to move out.
Gradually, he made it up the stairs, grabbed his earlier packed luggage and left.
Now, Leon would know how it felt.
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
Cloud stayed with Aerith.
The brunette woman had graciously and gently usher him inside, asking him questions about what happened. Cloud explained how he had had enough of Leon's departures, which Aerith had responded with a loving embrace, telling him did what was right, whether it felt like that or not.
Unfortunately, the blonde felt a little bad, leaving Leon without any serious warning.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Surely though, the brunette hadn't expected him to wait so long, had he?
Sigh.
He missed Leon.
So much.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Leon was now dead.
Gone.
Passed away.
With God.
Whatever you call it, he was dead.
Apparently, he had beaten up after someone found out he was a homosexual or, as they said, 'a fucking queer'.
Cloud had cried throughout the first, wailing and sobbing, the sounds echoing throughout the street. Aerith had tried to comfort him, but only to be pushed away.
Cloud had suddenly regretted saying all those things about Leon, leaving Leon and not having enough patience to bother with Leon's departures.
Cloud also felt appalled.
Some gay-bashers and pranced up to Leon, punched him and hit him till he was on the edge of death and then, according to the authorities, tied him to a lamp post where he died of starvation, the wounds helping to shorten his lifespan.
Cloud wanted to torture them, murder them, slaughter them.
The police force had beaten him to it, however. Putting all three men on the electric chair. They were confirmed dead next morning.
Cloud didn't feel anything when they were dead. He didn't feel better, he didn't feel worse. He just felt… blank. Like something was missing.
He later realised that, even though they had killed the gay-bashers, it wouldn't bring Leon back.
Leon was gone.
Leon was gone forever.
A few days later, Aerith had come up to him, holding a piece of paper in her hands. Apparently, Leon had returned back to his house, expecting Cloud, only to find no one.
The blonde had felt a sudden pang of guilt claw as his insides, aching his muscles.
Then, Leon had checked his phone, finding the message Cloud left. The brunette had been devastated and had left a note for Cloud, minutes before he departed from the house only to be murder a few minutes later.
Cloud had taken the note away from Aerith's hands and read it, a silent tear strolling down his red cheek. It said:
Where'd you go?
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
A/N: As I said before, I do NOT hate gays. I wouldn't be writing stories about Leon and Cloud in love if I hated gays. In fact, I don't even know WHY people hate homosexuals; seriously, there's nothing wrong with them. I'm not saying get all into yaoi and crap, but just respect them, y'know? They're humans too.
I hate gay-bashers by the way. In truth, I despise them. This fic was meant to point out that.
Review?