I don't own Twilight or any of these characters. I don't own the lyrics to the song below.

I thought it would be really cool to write this part of New Moon from Edwards POV, just for fun.

Please review and ENJOY!

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day in my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

Lonely Day, System of a Down

I had already made the decision, and I had been gradually disconnecting myself from her for the past couple of days since it had happened. The smell of her blood still pulsed from the wound on her arm, that I had caused, and it ripped through my throat, making it harder than usual to resist, but not impossible. If not for me all it would be is a small paper cut; nothing that wouldn't require stitches. Because of me she was suffering, the gash must still be hurting. But now, as we walked through the forest slowly, I did my best to hide any hint of what I was about to do. I kept my expression sheer and was thankful for being able to lie. I tried not to focus on the future, and took one step at a time, compiling a believable performance.

Her hand was warm in mine, and I could feel her anxiousness. Was I a worse liar than I thought I was? I couldn't put it off any longer, I leaned against a nearby tree, the house still in vision.

"Okay, let's talk." She sounded brave, but I could see that she was cowering in her own head. I sucked in a breath, tasting her sweet scent on my tongue.

"Bella," Her name singed my throat on the way out, it hurt more than the fire raking the walls, "We're leaving." She did as I did and took in a heavy breath. She seemed slightly confused.

"Why now?" Her voice was weak, "Another year—"

" Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he is claiming to be thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." It took all of my strength to keep my expression clear, my eyes not revealing my true emotion.

Her beautiful face became confused, and she pondered over what I had just said for a long moment. Her large eyes grew agonized, and she realized what I was trying to say. She realized that I was leaving her. Completely frozen in a state of mental shock from the fierce emotional blow I had just dealt, She began to speak. " When you say we—"

"I mean my family and myself." I pronounced each word with complete distinction, as if I was talking to a small child. A hard pain cracked through my chest, and it felt as if parts of me were already falling away. I stared at her coldly, strengthening the emotional blow even more. Her head shook back and forth, and her expression went to back and forth from confused to agonized, like she was grasping it, then losing it again, repeated over and over. I watched Bella, waiting, agonizing, the few minutes she was speechless felt like an eternity.

"Okay, I'll come with you," The way she said it made me want to tell her to forget everything she had just said, Bella said it loyally, like it was so obvious that that was what she was going to do.

"You can't Bella," I said, I began to detach myself completely in my head, letting myself go on auto pilot like I always did when I lied, "Where we're going…It's not the right place for you." It really wasn't, it slightly comforted me that this wasn't all a lie.

"Where you are is the right place for me," This was difficult, this would take hours. So I used another truth, one that she would never admit to herself, one that I always told myself.

"I'm no good for you, Bella," The pain cracked right through my chest again.

"Don't be ridiculous," She argued, she still wouldn't admit it. She went on, but her tone changed from an argument to a plea, "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," I told her, another truth, which we both knew very well.

"What happened with Jasper, that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" She was screaming out the words with a weak, sweet voice. She didn't seem to realize that, though.

"You're right," I forged an agree.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

"As long as it was what was best for you," I said, the pain cracked through once more, festering in my chest, I found it harder to keep my breathing even. I took in more of her scent discreetly, savoring it.

"NO! This is about my soul isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward!" My name escaped from her lips in a strangled scream, it was nice to hear just the same because of where it came. My love. My life. My source off all happiness in the world. All of it, it was all deteriorating before me, and I was causing it. I truly wanted to die just for leading her on this far, I could tell by the way that Bella looked at me that this was going to be easier than I thought. She seemed to believe me, "You can have my soul, I don't want it without you! It's yours already!" As mine was hers. Another crack.

I took another deep breath, clearing my mind, keeping my expression clear. Staring at the ground, not seeing anything but her face, I prepared myself for the sadness on it when I looked up. I was victorious in keeping my expression the same as I saw her staring at me with a look of unfathomable sadness, and nearly grief, she believed me.

"Bella," Another crack, and then another, "I don't want you to come with me." I spoke as if I was speaking to a small child again. She absorbed the new blow, and looked at me, be wildered.

"You—don't—want—me?" She choked the words, seeming to test them out to see if they made sense.

"No." I spoke blandly, detaching myself more.

"Well, that changes things," Was she really giving up this easily? She was confused, and sad. No, not sad, grieving. Another crack trembled right through my chest, this time it felt like a piece of me broke away completely, half of my chest gone.

"Of course, I will always love you, in a way," The same way I had always loved her, with my entire existence, "But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because…I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't," she said, "Don't do this."

I just looked at her. Keeping my expression smooth I imagined her features weren't twisted with pain, and memorized her face. "You're not good for me, Bella." Another crack, another piece.

"If that's what you want," she said, but what I wanted was for her to be safe, and that. I could see what this was doing to her, it was killing her, I could see her hair dulling in its shine, bags forming under her eyes. I could practically see pain radiating in her chest like it did mine. I nodded.

"I would like to ask one favor though, if that's not too much," I said.

Then, I finally broke, I could feel the agony ripple across my face, but I composed my expression quickly, I prayed she didn't see.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I couldn't bear it if my sweet Bella was hurt. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care for yourself—for him." She nodded slowly.

"I will," she whispered. It seemed only right to give her something, after leaving her, then asking her for a favor.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I said, giving her at least one thing, "I promise that this will be the last time you will ever see me, I won't come back," Another crack through me, another piece gone, I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore inferences to me. It will be as if I never existed." She began to start shaking, her knees giving way slightly putting her in an unstable state. Again, I wanted to beg her to forget what I just said, to carry her back to the house and plea forgiveness. I didn't know how I could possibly keep my promise, but I had to try.

"Don't worry. You're human—you're memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wound for your kind, " I smiled at that, knowing that one day, she would finally heal, or so I hoped.

"And your memories?" She asked, I wanted to scold her for worrying about me after what I had just done to her.

"Well," I pondered, "I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted." I smile again, I was thankful for that, but this pain wasn't going to be forgettable. I could feel it would never stop. Another clack trembled through my chest, and an even larger piece left me, By the time this was done, I would be nothing, only a ghost. She looked surprised now.

"Alice isn't coming back," she said, shocked. She knew that Alice and Jasper went away, she didn't know they were staying there.

"No, they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I said.

"Alice is gone?" she breathed. I had not only taken her love, my love from her, but I had taken her best friend, her other family. I was a monster, but it had to be this way, so she wouldn't be hurt, I couldn't bear that. The face that I caused it made it even worse.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you," I blinked hard, took a deep breath, and spoke the words I thought I would never speak, "Goodbye, Bella." Her name crumbled through me, cracking through my entire form, it was an unbearable pain, but I kept it under control. I kept my face blank, my eyes glassy and clear of any emotion. I was better at this than I thought.

"Wait!" She sounded like she was being strangled, she stumbled toward me, arms extended. I reached back to her, but caught myself and instead of entangling her in my arms and pulling her against my chest, I grabbed her wrists. Her skin was warm and soft, I would miss it. Pinning her wrists at her side, I kissed her forehead one last time. I inhaled her scent as it burned my throat.

"Take care of yourself," I whispered against her face. Tears oozed from the corners of her closed eyes, I wish she would open them so I could stare into them one last time.

And then I ran.

I ran away from her, deep into the forest, then circled around back to her house, to where the final remnants of her memories of me stated. I ducked into the window as I always did. Grabbing the plane tickets from my parents, and the CD I gave her, I jumped out the window. And then I remembered, l the pictures she had taken. Leaping back into the house I grabbed the scrap book and pulled out the pictures, then took it all back to my house. Where I put it all in a pile in the fireplace, and struck a match. I sat there, staring at the match until it burned to my fingertips. I blew it out, picked up all of the gifts, and, went back to Bella's house. I sniffed the air, she wasn't there yet, I didn't know where she was, but I climbed to her room, and yanked up on of her floorboards. I couldn't bear to take them from her completely, and I couldn't bear to destroy them completely like I had planned to.

I walked slowly through the house, breathing in the scent of her, and slowly walked through the back door. Then I ran to the house again.

I couldn't even make it to the door. I fell to my knees on the porch. I clumped on the porch, agony rolled through me. It felt like my entire chest was gone, I had left my heart with her. I trembled like I was crying, but no tears flowed. Everything was empty, all of me focused on the pain. How could she believe me? I had told her so many times that I loved her, and only her. That I would never stop. Ten minutes and she believed me. It was torture. I deserved it though; I left her with no sense of my love. I sat there, crumpled, until they showed up.

Rosalie, even, had a face twisted with pain, but everyone else's was much worse. Esme sat down beside me. She smoothed my hair and crooned soothing things. Sometimes her maternal instincts were what I was most thankful for, other than Bella, but she was gone. I felt a little better, knowing that someone loved me despite what I just did. Carlisle got the car ready, and it idle in the driveway while everyone herd into the house. I got up, feeling my face crumple in sadness, and walked to the piano. Staring at the keys for a while, I looked up to see everyone gathered around again. Emmett was sitting on the ledge by the door; he was the only one not looking at me. His face was in his hand, and I could feel pain rolling off of him. Alice sat next to me, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Play it," she begged, I couldn't say no. I wanted to hear it too.

Esme and Rosalie walked away. Rosalie put her arm around Emmett's waist and pulled him upstairs. Jasper sat in the car outside, staring blankly through the window. Pure agony, Everywhere.

Carlisle went into the back yard, and leapt over the river to hunt before we all left. It was only me and Alice now, and I turned to the keys. Playing the lullaby Bella had inspired, the most beautiful piece of music I had ever heard.

When it was over I looked at Alice, she was practically shaking, her eyes looked glassy, like she was going to cry, that was how I felt. I remembered the smell of Bella's tears, when I kissed on the forehead. My lips felt like they were tingling as I remembered the warmth of her forehead against my lips. I wished I could kiss one more time, to lie next to her again and watch her dream.

Never again.

I sank deeper into the pain and wrapped my arms around me sister.