Well Here it is folks, hope its not too bad =p
The Song Name is: Already Gone by Crossfade
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or Crossfade songs
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I will not leave a letter nothing at all
I'm sure you won't notice that I'm even gone
I wont break this silence we've shared for so long
I will be strong
Two years...I've lived like this for two years, and now I wonder....what was the point of it? You havn't changed since the first week since I've been here...sometimes I thought you had changed, with your gentle caresses, and loving eyes, but how was I supposed to know that even they would deceive me?
I look across the living room, and see the door to your room closed, just like before. Did I do something wrong? Does it have anything to do with Kitazawa or Tohma, or is that you just have someone else to fuck? Do you realize how crushing it is to love you, but not be love back? Have you ever thought of me as something other than your toy? I sigh as the questions rush through my head over and over again...I cant deal with this anymore, I want to cry out, I want you to love me! Even though I desire those things so much, I have grown wiser over the years, and I understand that it isn't going to happen.
So many thoughts are rushing through my head, each accompanying itself with a question. I thought of when we "made love," was it the same to you as it was for me? Did you care for me when I saw something close to gentleness in your eyes? I wonder all these things, but then go angry very soon, after I see the image of you and Tohma in my head, of you shoving yourself into him, and cry as I recall that it had happened only yesterday... I notice the tears starting to fall down my cheeks, and try to hurry out of "our" bedroom as I gather the last of my possessions.
I reach the door and think again, ha-ha, you probably think I would not be able to process complete thoughts even if I gave you all the decimal numbers of Pi. This is my last step into your house, I wish so much that you would just come out of your dreams, and ask for me to stay...even ordering me would be fine! I hear myself sobbing, and think that everything would be all right if you wanted me to stay, but understand that it would not work if it were for just for your convenience. I wonder if you would even care that I left, wonder if...you even noticed I left. I wipe away the last tear and step out the door, locking it from the outside, and slipping the key under the door. This is finally goodbye, right Yuki? I would want to apologize for everything I have done, but don't think I'd even be able to without crying.
Goodbye...Yuki.
I will not leave a letter nothing at all
I'm sure you won't notice that I'm even gone
Why did I stay here stay for so long
When we're so far gone
I feel so stupid taking this fall
I should have seen it known all along
I won't break this silence we've shared for so long
I will be strong
Even after knowing that I did the right thing, I can't help but want to see you. In my heart, I know you're the only person I'll be able to truly love, but is it the same for you? Even though I'm the one who left, I want to be right back in your arms...your rare, warm embraces. Is it too much to ask for? Is it wrong that I'm jealous of Tohma, that I'm infuriated because he is closer than you than I could ever be? Its already been a couple hours since I've left, and I bet that you've probably just noticed I'm gone. I'm guessing there aren't enough distractions or noises in the house now right? I think that, but have you even gone to check? I doubt it, hah, you're probably still working on your latest novel -Cold or something- and thanking Buddha or something that there isn't any noise coming your way...heartless bastard.
Now its just me and the bench...that's right, the one in the park where we first met...would you even remember? I think about you and Tohma again, and then start thinking some more...its ironic, I never thought I would ever think this much in my life. I smile sadly as I recall all the other memories I have of you cheating on me, you never told me, but there was always a hint...the hint of lipsticks on your lips, the perfume on your clothes, the nail marks on your back... Did you think I wouldn't notice? I admit I've done stupid things in my life, but that's pretty low. I cry and wonder, why didn't you ever say anything? Did you want me to stay with you even after you continued to scar me with your actions, just to see me suffer? Wow, I cant believe all the things I've been through for you, if it was someone else, do you think they would have stayed? I'm such an idiot, I never thought about my troubles, I just thought of the happy times I've been through with you, but how long would that have lasted?
I walk as I think of the things that came out of it, its funny, although you've completely crushed my heart, there is one good thing that has come out of this. I won't live in that silly world anymore, I know my limits now. I should have learned this before, stopped loving you so I would be able to evolve faster, but that wouldn't have happened...
I gaze at the place I stopped walking too and notice that I'm in front of the airport, I though ironically that its wonderful that my body moves faster than my brain. Hmm, I take out my phone and look at the time. 12:06 AM, the airport won't open until 6... I could sleep at a hotel, or I could sleep outside the building. I nod as I tell myself to sleep outside, I don't want to lose the freezing feeling of the air outside.
Don't worry Yuki, you won't ever need to yell or waste time telling me to go away or to shut up, the Shuichi you knew, you changed him and made him leave...and he isn't going to be coming or changing back.
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Ok well, there you have it. It would be nice of you to review of course, but I REALLY want criticism! Lol, This is only one part of the song, the other will be coming out soon, for those wanting to still read it.
OH ! and the next section will be in a setting of 2 or 3 yrs later!