A/N: First Batman fic ever, and it doesn't even have him in it! This is just a little oneshot about The Mad Hatter and Scarecrow, just because I'm already working on another series, but I did leave it open for a sequel. And I'd like to give a shoutout to my friend L'ange-sans-ailes for letting me use his go-to-goons Larry and Steve…
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." Donna Roberts
The chessboard was a mess. A slender hand moved a white pawn closer to the other side of the board. In the background of the rec room, a quiet chatter of voices was dulled as a news broadcast another report of the Caped Crusader's good deeds. The lull of the game was broken by a fist going through the television.
"AGH! I shoulda used a bigger rock!" It took nine orderlies to drag the patient known as Killer Croc to the ground. In the far corner, the chess game between Jervis Tetch and Jonathan Crane carried on.
"What's he upset about now?" Jervis asked as he moved a castle to take his opponents knight.
"I think that newscast was about him," Jonathan said, studying the board as he slowly rocked back and forth. "I heard The Bat nearly killed him last time he brought the dull sap in."
"Well if you go at it the way he does," Jervis shook his head as he looked at the orderlies still wrestling with Killer Croc.
"I know you'd be using the same approach if you were that strong," Jonathan said, still looking at the board.
"I have bigger things on my mind," Jervis said, looking at his friends shaking hand as it lay on the table. "You're going through withdrawals again?"
Jonathan quickly brought his hand under the table, "It's nothing."
"Have you seen the nurse?" Jervis asked, concern lacing his voice. "Last time you had a seizure."
"I'm fine!" Jonathan quickly moved his castle, taking one of Jervis's pawns.
"You really need to get help," Jervis said quietly, turning his attention to the chess board, "Take advantage of this place while you're here."
"You know I don't trust the doctors here," Jonathan said, glaring towards the doctor injecting Killer Croc with an unknown serum, "they're a pretentious mockery to science."
"They can keep you well medicated," Jervis said, moving his remaining knight.
"They'd turn me into a vegetable," Jonathan shook his head. "This place is here to make the outside world feel better."
"It seems no one cares about us, out there or in here." Jervis said, watching as they dragged a vegetative Croc out of the room. "He would've killed either of us if we got in his way."
"Which makes sticking together all the more important," Jonathan said, leaning forward.
"Only if you can stay off that damn toxin." Jervis crossed his arms.
"That damn toxin works better than your little trinkets." Jonathan snapped, immediately regretting it when he saw the pain in his friends eyes. Jervis tipped over his king and stood, prompting a response from Jonathan, "I'm sorry, don't leave, I'm just edgy from withdrawals."
Jervis straightened his jumper and sat down. He said in just above a whisper, "If you ever plan to leave here with me, you need to overcome this."
"I know," Jonathan lowered his head, "He did this to me. It seems I can't feel much of anything without it, only fear of Batman."
"Everyone in here can say they're here because of him," Jervis motioned to the expanse of bodies in the rec room, "We're the smartest ones in here, and he beat us."
"The last time we fought Batman together," Jonathan said quietly, setting the board back up.
"So long ago…" Jervis mumbled.
"We weren't prepared." Jonathan motioned to the board, "You first."
"How does one prepare for him?" Jervis said, moving the white pawn in front of his king two spaces.
"I worked up a profile for the Joker-the man is an enigma unto himself." Jonathan said quietly, leaning over the board, "He can reinvent his personality on the fly to his advantage."
"How does that help us?" Jervis asked.
"The thin line between him and Batman is intent." Jonathan said as he brought the pawn in front of his queen to meet Jervis's piece. "Batman's intent to protect incites Joker's intent to kill."
"And vice versa," Jervis said quietly, studying the board.
"We'll need something unexpected." Jonathan said, "It would be advised to recruit some muscle; I still have some contacts on the outside that could be of assistance."
"Not more drugged up students, I hope," Jervis said, shaking his head as he looked at Jonathan, who was still rocking back and forth.
"No, no, these two are artful and low-key," Jonathan said, "They're used to the strange and unusual."
"You've been reduced to Larry and Steve?" Jervis asked, putting his hand to his temple.
"What's wrong with Larry and Steve?" Jonathan asked defensively.
"What's right with Larry and Steve?" Jervis said, a smile on his lips, then moved his rook three spaces to right.
"They're better than nothing!" Jonathan retorted.
"Was nothing an option?" Jervis snickered, "Are you holding out on me?"
"I'm just trying to plan ahead." He said simply, then moved a knight forward.
"I knew you couldn't do unexpected." Jervis shrugged, turning his attention back to the board. He decided to move his queen diagonally to edge of the board.
"I will not stand for such slurs against my character." Jonathan said, countering by moving his other knight into play. "Have you ever thought that's your problem?"
"You're the predictable fool," Jervis said, resting his chin on his hands.
"Not in the mood," Jonathan's face turned dark.
"The doctor doesn't want to be analyzed," He grinned, "You didn't even notice I have you so close to check."
"What?" Jonathan looked down at the board in shock. "A gentleman always says so beforehand."
"But a gentleman is so predictable," Jervis said as he moved his queen diagonally again, taking a black pawn, which put his queen next to his opponents king. "Checkmate."
"We're still breaking out?" Jonathan asked in a whisper, tipping over his king.
"At dawn." Jervis said, a grin creeping over his face.