"Please, Mystic Maya? Just one more little story?"
There was just no way Maya could possibly resist such pleading from her adorable 8-year-old cousin. She sighed and gave in, propping up the book on her lap. She flipped through the pages quickly, trying to find at least one which she had not yet read out to Pearl. Cinderella... The Little Matchstick Girl... Sleeping Beauty... Snow White... No, not a single new one.
Looks like I'll have to try improvising, she thought simply. Perhaps an attempt at originality might even boost my spirit medium skills. She hastily glanced at Pearl's expectant face, and cleared her throat to signify the beginning.
"Once upon a time," she spoke, pausing dramatically, "there lived a prince."
"A prince!" Pearl cried in awe. "You mean one of those sparkling ones with crowns and jewels and capes?"
Maya shook her head. "No, not really. In fact, he is a forest prince, and a gallant one at that. His name was Prince LARRY... Which stood for 'Leader Among Really Robin-like Youths'."
"Woah! You mean like Robin Hood?"
"No... He's a wolf. An orange wolf, as a matter of fact. Anyway, he is also the (self-proclaimed) prince of the forest, and he usually prances around hitting on females of other species. He also has this random blue-suited woodsman friend whom he had known since young."
Pearl nods her head intently, her eyes pure of any sort of sarcasm. "Sounds really gallant!"
"Anyway..." Maya continued. "Meanwhile, one fine day, a man who wears glasses decided to send his son into the forest to visit his granddad or something. Why he wouldn't go himself was left to the reader to ponder on. So before the little boy left, the man gave him a basket covered with a piece of pink cloth, dressed him in fine pink silk, wrapped some frilly neck-tie thing around his neck and told him some story about justice. Everyone called the boy Little Magenta Riding Hood."
"Uh-huh."
"So... right. So as Prince LARRY was prancing around the woods that day, he spotted Little Magenta Riding Hood, in all his magenta glory. And of course, Prince LARRY was very upset that day as he had not picked up any new girlfriends, and in his haste to get someone to accept him, he approached Little Magenta. The conversation then went as follows:
'Hello there Little Magenta! Where art thou going? Would you please tell me, the great Prince LARRY?'
'I have to decline. That was... declineable.'
'I guess I have no choice but to find out by myself, then!'
'Do what you wish, wolf.'
And thus, that was how Prince LARRY decided to search around the forest until he found this curious little German mini-mansion in the middle of nowhere, passing his blue-suited friend and greeting him in the meantime. In hopes of giving Little Magenta a surprise, he entered via the surprisingly unlocked front door... and...!" She paused with suspense.
Pearl pulled the sheets up to her nose. "W-What is it, Mystic Maya?"
"...Anyway, after about a minute, Little Magenta himself had reached the cottage-mansion. Upon looking inside, however... He was given the shock of his life! There and then, he felt that his entire life had been torn to shreds!"
Pearl gasped.
"Right in front of him was his father, lying on the floor dead! And Prince LARRY was looming right above him!" She swayed her arms around dramatically.
"Er... Mystic Maya, how could his father had gotten to the grandpa's cottage before Little Magenta?"
"Actually, I'm not very sure. Anyway, I shall resume. Little Magenta, shock overwhelming him, immediately accused Prince LARRY as his father's killer, and demand that he be brought to justice. Just then, as Prince LARRY looked absolutely dumbfounded and tongue-tied, in jumped the blue-suited woodsman, who yelled that he would defend Prince LARRY if it would be the last thing he did! Little Magenta threw testimonies and evidences at the woodsman from his handy basket, but the brave woodsman countered with objection after objection! He demanded that the mansion be searched for more possible suspects... and they found Little Magenta's grandfather, who is hastily looking for an escape route!"
"Woah!"
"Little Magenta's grandfather was old, but nevertheless very ruthless. He was dressed completely in blue and wore the same frilly-neck thing as Little Magenta did. Just as the woodman stood forth to accuse the suspicious grandfather, another newly inserted character came and deflected the blow! It was Little Magenta's blue-haired cousin, and she carries a whip.
'Not so fast, Mr. Woodsman!' she shouted, hitting the woodman with the whip. 'Amateur! You have to provide a suitable motive! How could my grandfather have possibly killed my uncle? He had no reason to!'
But the woodman was clever. He walked briskly to the grandfather's room and pointed to the mirror, and pulled out a tape recorder (wow, modern technology) from his pocket.
'He was clearly jealous of Little Magenta's father. This evidence clearly shows that this morning, he had asked the mirror: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who's the perfectest of them all?"
Everyone tensed for a moment, and the camera zooms in to the face of the gallant woodsman-"
"Erm, what about the gallant prince?"
"Not so fast, Pearly! Anyway, he shouted loud and clear, he brows curled!
The mirror had replied, "Little Magenta's father"!'
There was a great buzzing among the crowd, and Little Magenta's nameless cousin with the whip was horrified. Eventually she threw down the whip, stomped on it, and ran out crying like a little baby. The grandfather tried to escape as well, but Little Magenta was too fast for him! Swift as a bat, he reached into his basket of everything and pulled out a pistol, and threw it! The safety catch dislodged, and the bullet shot into the grandfather's shoulder! His scream would haunt Little Magenta for many, many years to come...
... Just then, the woodsman spoke to Little Magenta. Turns out that during the whole fiasco, his hood has fallen off his shoulders, and the spiky-haired woodsman had been holding on to it. And what follows is probably the cheesiest bunch of dialogue this story has ever had.
'I found this article of clothing, and I have decided that the one whom this fits will be my bride tomorrow morn,' the woodsman gallantly proclaimed. It fit Little Magenta perfectly, and he got extremely flustered.
'N...No!' Little Magenta blushed furiously. 'I will not be troubled by these unnecessary... feelings. You hear me, Woodsman? Don't you show your face in front of me ever again!' And he walked away.
But of course, the true culprit in the end was this old woman who was downright obsessed with Little Magenta. Yet, the main characters failed to catch the guilty party in the act... But it was not so for a bright and intelligent 17-year-old spirit medium who caught the old woman and brought her to justice-"
Maya broke off, noticing that Pearl was already asleep. She smiled to herself as she turned off the lights.
"... But well, I guess that's a story for another day."
Sleep tight.