A/N: Another epilogue from the last STAR for Brian zine.

Epilogophilia: Killer B's

Hardcastle decides to go after drug dealer Eddie Sands, whose "legitimate" line of work is producing B movies. He asks an old friend, Buddy Ebsen, to help trap Sands and has McCormick cozy up to Sands' current leading lady, Crystal Dawn. While Hardcastle and Buddy Ebsen collect evidence, McCormick gets a job with Sands transporting the drugs. All the proof necessary to arrest and charge Sands and the men in his organization is amassed, and the good guys repair to a restaurant for a celebratory lunch.

Epilogue -- Owlcroft

Sarah noticed that Mark kept breaking into a grin as he was peeling the potatoes. He'd shake his head, the grin would slowly subside, another potato would drop into the pot of water on the counter, then the grin would re-appear, wide and joyful. After the third outbreak, she had to ask about it.

"Are you finding those potatoes particularly amusing?" She suppressed a smile at Mark's chagrin, then took a modicum of pity on him and added, "I suppose it's good that you enjoy your work. When you're through, put them on the stove."

McCormick nodded, then started to speak, stopped, and finally turned to her and said, "I just can't believe I met Buddy Ebsen! I mean, we worked with him. I even had lunch with him!" He shook his head again and picked up another potato. "Buddy Ebsen."

Sarah snorted gently and turned the oven on. "Mark, this is Los Angeles. Hollywood, you know. There are movie stars everywhere. It's hard to believe you've never seen one in person before." She carefully set the chicken casserole on the bottom shelf of the oven, then turned back to the small kitchen table to start on the salad.

"Oh, sure, I've seen movie stars." Mark stopped peeling and stared off into space. "I saw Jackie Cooper once, and Ron Howard. I even picked up a can that Donna Dixon dropped in the grocery store once."

"Mmm," Sarah replied, knowing at least who Jackie Cooper was. "I remember Mr. Ebsen in 'Northwest Passage'. Now, that was good television. None of this tawdry sitcom business. A real, good, historical drama." She piled lettuce into the salad bowl and took celery and a tomato out of the refrigerator.

McCormick wrinkled his forehead and squinted through the window over the sink. "I don't think I ever saw that." He fished another potato out of the sink. "You know what I remember, though? 'Davy Crockett'! Buddy," he used the praenomen casually, then slitted a glance to see if Sarah had noticed, "was the best friend in that one. We used to watch it every week, and sing along with the theme song. My da--" He broke off abruptly.

"I see," Sarah commented placidly. She sliced celery and waited for the young man across the kitchen from her to continue.

McCormick finished peeling and set the pot of potatoes on a front burner of the stove and turned the heat on. "Remember 'The Ballad of Davy Crockett'?" He hummed a few bars. "One of the kids at school always sang it as 'Killed in a bar when he was only three'." He turned to grin at Sarah. "We thought that was a real scream."

Sarah sniffed deprecatingly and added the celery to the bowl of salad. "Yes, I'm sure you all thought it was very amusing." She reached for a red onion and added, "I do remember that. Coonskin caps were all the rage for a time. I believe his honor even bought one."

"Really? I can just picture him wearing it to court, or even better, chasing down the bad guys!" McCormick snorted in amusement.

She frowned at him and clicked her tongue. "It was a gift. It wasn't for himself," she said sternly.

Mark turned to face her and leaned a hip against the kitchen counter. "Oh." He thought about that briefly, then shrugged it away. "I never had one, but one of the guys at school did and he let us take turns wearing it."

"That was nice of him." She sliced the onion, then chopped the slices into smaller pieces. "Are the potatoes boiling yet?"

McCormick peeked at the pot on the burner and nodded. "Yeah, buckskins and bears. King of the wild frontier. Real he-man stuff. I guess Davy Crockett was one of the real heroes, you know?"

"Yes, I suppose he was. It's good for children to have someone to look up to." Sarah tossed the salad then handed the bowl to Mark, saying, "This on the table, please. And then you can tell his honor to wash up for dinner."

Mark took the bowl and pushed through the kitchen door, calling as he went, "Hey, Hardcase! Come and get it!"

Sarah sighed and shook her head in quiet exasperation, then smiled slightly. "And it's good for young men, too."

finis