I'm not adamwestslapdog and I don't own the Zelda bridged series
Episode one
Deku Tree: In the vast deep forest of Hyrule, long have I served as the guardian spirit… I a known as the great Deku Tree. The children of the forest the Kokiri live here with me. Each Kokiri has his or her own guardian fairy. However there is one boy who does not have a fairy. Because he was a sick little weirdo.
Link: Oh yeah baby take it off. Ahh a castle? I wanted to have the dream with the girls in the hot tub. This dream sucks. All right finally some chick! (Zelda rides by on a horse) How you doing baby?
Zelda: Get away from me you loser.
Link: Great now even in my dreams I'm not getting anybody. Man why does nobody love me (Link turns around) AH!
Ganon: You know you're kinda cute.
Link: NOOOOOOOOO!
jmonsterx presents on fanfiction
Link,
He come to town,
Come to save,
The princess Zelda,
Ganon took her away,
Now the children don't play,
But they will,
When Link saves the day
HALLELUJAH!
Now Link,
Fill up your hearts,
So you can shoot,
Your sword with power,
And when you're feeling all down,
The fairy will come around,
'Till you be brave,
And not a sissy coward.
The Legend of Zelda the abridged series
Deku Tree: Oh Navi the Fairy, listen to my words, the words of the Deku Tree.
Navi: Do you always refer to your self in third person?
Deku Tree: No the Deku Tree doesn't. I think it's time for the boy without a Fairy to realize his destiny.
Navi: And what destiny is that?
Deku Tree: Well to get rid of that damn squirrel that's set a nest inside me, of course. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have nuts deep inside you?
Navi: For the last time yes now stop asking me that.
Deku Tree: Whatever now just go get the boy without a fairy.
Navi: Eh whatever you big wooden idiot. (She flies off) Why does it have to be him, I bet he's not even out of bed yet. (She flies by Mido) Out off my way Jerk ***.
Girl on shop roof: Hello.
Navi: Oh hello yourself, you're probably gonna stuck up there forever. (She stops at the guy next to Mido's house.) Are you humping a rock?
Rock humper: Hells yeah
Navi: Ok got to get out of here, really fast. (She spots links house and flies really fast toward it) AHHHH! ( She hits the fence) Ow I hope no one saw that.
Rock humper: I did.
Navi: Shut up rock humper! (She enters links house) Finally this place is a real freak town. Hey you wake up.
Link: (Mumbles in sleep) no get off me you big green ginger man.
Navi: OK, ah screw it wake up I don't want to walk by that rock humper again.
Link: (Yawns) Ooh they make light bulbs with wings now.
Navi: I'm a fairy you Jack***.
Link: Hehe sweet it talk.
Navi: Right whatever, just come on the Deku tree has a job for you.
Link: Tell him I'll come when he gets me himself.
Navi: You are aware he's a tree right?
Link: Oh I thought he just had a funny last name.
Navi: Funny last name? Geh, you jack***. Just come on now or else.
Link: Or else what?
Navi: I'll kick your ass that's what.
Link: Yeah right like I'd get my ass kicked by a flying light bulb. I'm going back to bed. (link gets his ass kicked by a flying light bulb lol)
Navi: Hehe if this was prison you'd be my b***h.
Link: Shut up
To be continued…
Now the Zelda is free and now our hero shall be, Link! I think your name shall go down into history!