DISCLAIMER: I'm ashamed to say that I do not own the Animorphs. I am even
MORE ashamed to say that I DO own this story. . .
NOTE: . . .For some retarded reason my parents want me bedridden til August. So0o0o0o0o I'm getting restless. . ..and when I'm b0red, scary things happen. Like this story for example. Anyway, yeah, I know this has been done (lots and lots and lots and lots of times) but give me a break. I've already memorized "pi" up to 57 decimals, planned out the rest of the story THE ISLAND, read the 5th Harry Potter book, discovered the meaning of life, formed images with the lines on my wallpaper, AND invented new lyrics to every Good Charlotte song ever so that they involve lobsters and mustaches. I have nothing else to do, so I'm doing THIS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! **pauses to breathe** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Freak Apple - It appears to be a normal day in Cassie's bedroom, here in the nifty town of Denver, Colorado.
Cassie - What? We live in California!
Freak Apple - Noo, no one knows where you live. Derrr, Cassmeister!
Cassie - But in the last book-
Freak Apple - EH!
Cassie - K.A. Applegate said-
Freak Apple - YOU WILL NOT MENTION THE LAST BOOK IN THE PRESENCE OF THE ALMIGHTY FANFIC AUTHOR!!!
Cassie - But-
Freak Apple - EH!
Cassie - It hap-
Freak Apple - **flicks Cassie in the forehead** Shhh!
Cassie - The book happened, Freak Apple! Face it!
Freak Apple - **turns Cassie into a deoderant stick by clicking tongue and pulling earlobe** Okay, now let's try this again. If you answer incorrectly I will put you in my brother's wrestling locker. Do you want that to happen?
Cassie - **does nothing**
Freak Apple - Okay, since you can't talk I will assume you understood. Now, did the last Animorph book ever happen?
Cassie - **deoderant opens and starts to apply itself on the tabletop, writing out the word "NO"**
Freak Apple - Good. Now where do you live?
Cassie - **deoderant writes "Cali-"**
Freak Apple - Uh-uh! **threateningly reaches for Cassie**
Cassie - **deoderant quickly crosses out previous word and writes" DENVER"**
Freak Apple - Excellent! **clicks tongue and pulls earlobe, turning Cassie back to a person**
Cassie - You're insane!
Freak Apple - No, that's Marco's line!! **snaps fingers and Marco appears in Cassie's room**
Marco - What the-
Freak Apple - Say I'm insane.
Marco - Why?
Cassie - **whispers** It's Freak Apple.
Marco - **eyes widen** Oh n-
Freak Apple - BACK TO MY STORY!! **snaps fingers and Marco disappears** So, Cassie is alone in her room here in DENVER, leafing through a magazine titled "Let's Examine Owl Vomit!"
Cassie - I think that was an article, not a whole -
Freak Apple - SILENCE!
Cassie - **whimpers**
Freak Apple - She is doing this absently, because she is considering breaking up with Jake.
Cassie - WHAT!?
Freak Apple - You heard me. Now stop talking to me, you can't talk to me I don't exist in your world.
Cassie - Why would I break up with Jake!?
Freak Apple - **rolls eyes** Okay if I show you, will you stop interrupting me?
Cassie - **Nods**
Freak Apple - **snaps fingers** look out the window.
Cassie - **looks down to see Jake shirtless on top of Melissa Chapman** OH MY GOD!
Jake - **gets up, confusedly** What the - I was playing video games. . .
Freak Apple - No you weren't! You were purposely cheating on Cassie to get back at her for taking care of that 3-legged squirrel that you thought was possessed by evil monkey-witches!!
Cassie and Jake - . . .what??
Cassie - **whispers** it's Freak Apple.
Jake - **looks startled** Oh, my go-
Melissa - Who are you guys talking to? And why am I no longer playing with my cute-yet-annoyingly named cat,
Fluffer McKitty?
Cassie - **in a really creepy possessed-like tone** HERR. . .! **points at the ceiling**
Freak Apple - She's not major enough in the series for me to put in my fanfictions, for now. Be gone, inferior character!! **snaps fingers and there is a loud BOOM and a bolt of lightning**
Melissa - **sits on ground, hair fried and skin charred** I'm still here. . .
Freak Apple - Hmm, I wonder why that didn't work? **tries again and there is another clash of lightning and bolt of thunder**
Cassie - Wait you got the thunder and lightning mixed up.
Freak Apple - **turns Cassie back into deoderant**
Jake - It didn't work. **points at the pile of ashes on the ground**
Freak Apple - Ah well. Anyway, as I was saying, Jake and Cassie are about to get into a heated argument while discussing their futures. Cassie does not feel she is able to forgive Jake for cheating on her.
Jake - But YOU made me-
Marco - **slams through the door and is panting like a fat dog on a hot day** You guys!! Freak Apple. . .she's here. . .**gasps for breath**
Jake - Duh.
Freak Apple - And Marco bursts in to stop Jake, who is so engulfed in despair that he wants to morph a tiger a eat himself.
Marco and Jake - What?!
Marco - **Grabs Jake's shoulder** Dude, don't do it.
Freak Apple - **cackles** all is going according to plan. . .
Rachel - **busts in Cassies room** Hey Cassie, let's go shop. . .. ping **sees Jake shirtless, Marco clutching his naked shoulder, a pile of ashes, and a suspicious looking deoderant that goes on clear and doesn't stick.**
Cassie - Wait, if I go on clear, how was I writing earlier?
Freak Apple - You be quiet. Deoderant can't talk.
Rachel - Holy crap, is that Freak Apple!?
Everyone - **nods**
Rachel - Oh no. . .
Freak Apple - WILL PEOPLE PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY STORY!? **snaps finger and Ax appears, holding the blue box. Tobias is perched on his shoulder**
Ax - Ellimist?
Marco - No, Freak Apple.
Ax - Oh n-
Freak Apple - Oh shut up. Now, Ax had arrived holding the Escafil device for no apparent reason.
Ax - Why would I-
Freak Apple - But then, in a EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT-BUTT-SLAPPING PLOT TWIST. . . **snaps fingers and a teenage girl walks into the room. She has dark blond-brown hair, stoned-looking eyes, and looks amazingly like. . .**
Jake - Is that. . .FREAK APPLE!?
Freak Apple the Fanfic Author - Yep, that's me.
Rachel - **Looks back and forth between the Freak Apple character and the Freak Apple author.** Oh crap. . .
Marco - This is insane.
Freak Apple the Author - **slaps Marco's back** that's my boy!
Freak Apple the character - Hello I'm new. I'm just innocently walking around this strangers house looking to be involved in something dramatic. Hey, what's that blue cube?
Freak Apple the Author - Ax, who is holding the cube, tries to hide it, but he fumbles because of his weak Andalite hands.
Ax - My hands are NOT-
Freak Apple the Author - **slaps the box from Ax's hands and it falls to Freak Apple the Character's feet**
Freak Apple the Character - **picks up the box, unknowingly gaining the power to morph** Whoa, I feel as if I have just been unwillingly dragged into something much larger than myself!!
Marco - NOOOO!!!
Rachel - WHAT THE HELL, THIS IS A SELF-INSERTION FIC!?!?!
Jake - MARY SUE ALERT!!
Freak Apple the Author - Uhhh. . . .what will happen next?? Stay tuned for the next chapter of THE UNEXPECTED!!
Tobias - Hopefully I'll have more lines in the next one. . .
Freak Apple the Author - Don't count on it.
Tobias - Whyyy?? **whines**
Freak Apple - Hawks are scary.
Cassie - **sits and does nothing because she is a stick of deoderant**
Ax - What is this? Is this food? **reaches for Cassie-oderant**
- - - - -Yeah, yeah, flame me who cares. I just had to get this out of my system. **reverts back to serious mode. . . .and giggles** Hehe, right. . .like I have a serious mode. . .
NOTE: . . .For some retarded reason my parents want me bedridden til August. So0o0o0o0o I'm getting restless. . ..and when I'm b0red, scary things happen. Like this story for example. Anyway, yeah, I know this has been done (lots and lots and lots and lots of times) but give me a break. I've already memorized "pi" up to 57 decimals, planned out the rest of the story THE ISLAND, read the 5th Harry Potter book, discovered the meaning of life, formed images with the lines on my wallpaper, AND invented new lyrics to every Good Charlotte song ever so that they involve lobsters and mustaches. I have nothing else to do, so I'm doing THIS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! **pauses to breathe** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Freak Apple - It appears to be a normal day in Cassie's bedroom, here in the nifty town of Denver, Colorado.
Cassie - What? We live in California!
Freak Apple - Noo, no one knows where you live. Derrr, Cassmeister!
Cassie - But in the last book-
Freak Apple - EH!
Cassie - K.A. Applegate said-
Freak Apple - YOU WILL NOT MENTION THE LAST BOOK IN THE PRESENCE OF THE ALMIGHTY FANFIC AUTHOR!!!
Cassie - But-
Freak Apple - EH!
Cassie - It hap-
Freak Apple - **flicks Cassie in the forehead** Shhh!
Cassie - The book happened, Freak Apple! Face it!
Freak Apple - **turns Cassie into a deoderant stick by clicking tongue and pulling earlobe** Okay, now let's try this again. If you answer incorrectly I will put you in my brother's wrestling locker. Do you want that to happen?
Cassie - **does nothing**
Freak Apple - Okay, since you can't talk I will assume you understood. Now, did the last Animorph book ever happen?
Cassie - **deoderant opens and starts to apply itself on the tabletop, writing out the word "NO"**
Freak Apple - Good. Now where do you live?
Cassie - **deoderant writes "Cali-"**
Freak Apple - Uh-uh! **threateningly reaches for Cassie**
Cassie - **deoderant quickly crosses out previous word and writes" DENVER"**
Freak Apple - Excellent! **clicks tongue and pulls earlobe, turning Cassie back to a person**
Cassie - You're insane!
Freak Apple - No, that's Marco's line!! **snaps fingers and Marco appears in Cassie's room**
Marco - What the-
Freak Apple - Say I'm insane.
Marco - Why?
Cassie - **whispers** It's Freak Apple.
Marco - **eyes widen** Oh n-
Freak Apple - BACK TO MY STORY!! **snaps fingers and Marco disappears** So, Cassie is alone in her room here in DENVER, leafing through a magazine titled "Let's Examine Owl Vomit!"
Cassie - I think that was an article, not a whole -
Freak Apple - SILENCE!
Cassie - **whimpers**
Freak Apple - She is doing this absently, because she is considering breaking up with Jake.
Cassie - WHAT!?
Freak Apple - You heard me. Now stop talking to me, you can't talk to me I don't exist in your world.
Cassie - Why would I break up with Jake!?
Freak Apple - **rolls eyes** Okay if I show you, will you stop interrupting me?
Cassie - **Nods**
Freak Apple - **snaps fingers** look out the window.
Cassie - **looks down to see Jake shirtless on top of Melissa Chapman** OH MY GOD!
Jake - **gets up, confusedly** What the - I was playing video games. . .
Freak Apple - No you weren't! You were purposely cheating on Cassie to get back at her for taking care of that 3-legged squirrel that you thought was possessed by evil monkey-witches!!
Cassie and Jake - . . .what??
Cassie - **whispers** it's Freak Apple.
Jake - **looks startled** Oh, my go-
Melissa - Who are you guys talking to? And why am I no longer playing with my cute-yet-annoyingly named cat,
Fluffer McKitty?
Cassie - **in a really creepy possessed-like tone** HERR. . .! **points at the ceiling**
Freak Apple - She's not major enough in the series for me to put in my fanfictions, for now. Be gone, inferior character!! **snaps fingers and there is a loud BOOM and a bolt of lightning**
Melissa - **sits on ground, hair fried and skin charred** I'm still here. . .
Freak Apple - Hmm, I wonder why that didn't work? **tries again and there is another clash of lightning and bolt of thunder**
Cassie - Wait you got the thunder and lightning mixed up.
Freak Apple - **turns Cassie back into deoderant**
Jake - It didn't work. **points at the pile of ashes on the ground**
Freak Apple - Ah well. Anyway, as I was saying, Jake and Cassie are about to get into a heated argument while discussing their futures. Cassie does not feel she is able to forgive Jake for cheating on her.
Jake - But YOU made me-
Marco - **slams through the door and is panting like a fat dog on a hot day** You guys!! Freak Apple. . .she's here. . .**gasps for breath**
Jake - Duh.
Freak Apple - And Marco bursts in to stop Jake, who is so engulfed in despair that he wants to morph a tiger a eat himself.
Marco and Jake - What?!
Marco - **Grabs Jake's shoulder** Dude, don't do it.
Freak Apple - **cackles** all is going according to plan. . .
Rachel - **busts in Cassies room** Hey Cassie, let's go shop. . .. ping **sees Jake shirtless, Marco clutching his naked shoulder, a pile of ashes, and a suspicious looking deoderant that goes on clear and doesn't stick.**
Cassie - Wait, if I go on clear, how was I writing earlier?
Freak Apple - You be quiet. Deoderant can't talk.
Rachel - Holy crap, is that Freak Apple!?
Everyone - **nods**
Rachel - Oh no. . .
Freak Apple - WILL PEOPLE PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY STORY!? **snaps finger and Ax appears, holding the blue box. Tobias is perched on his shoulder**
Ax - Ellimist?
Marco - No, Freak Apple.
Ax - Oh n-
Freak Apple - Oh shut up. Now, Ax had arrived holding the Escafil device for no apparent reason.
Ax - Why would I-
Freak Apple - But then, in a EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT-BUTT-SLAPPING PLOT TWIST. . . **snaps fingers and a teenage girl walks into the room. She has dark blond-brown hair, stoned-looking eyes, and looks amazingly like. . .**
Jake - Is that. . .FREAK APPLE!?
Freak Apple the Fanfic Author - Yep, that's me.
Rachel - **Looks back and forth between the Freak Apple character and the Freak Apple author.** Oh crap. . .
Marco - This is insane.
Freak Apple the Author - **slaps Marco's back** that's my boy!
Freak Apple the character - Hello I'm new. I'm just innocently walking around this strangers house looking to be involved in something dramatic. Hey, what's that blue cube?
Freak Apple the Author - Ax, who is holding the cube, tries to hide it, but he fumbles because of his weak Andalite hands.
Ax - My hands are NOT-
Freak Apple the Author - **slaps the box from Ax's hands and it falls to Freak Apple the Character's feet**
Freak Apple the Character - **picks up the box, unknowingly gaining the power to morph** Whoa, I feel as if I have just been unwillingly dragged into something much larger than myself!!
Marco - NOOOO!!!
Rachel - WHAT THE HELL, THIS IS A SELF-INSERTION FIC!?!?!
Jake - MARY SUE ALERT!!
Freak Apple the Author - Uhhh. . . .what will happen next?? Stay tuned for the next chapter of THE UNEXPECTED!!
Tobias - Hopefully I'll have more lines in the next one. . .
Freak Apple the Author - Don't count on it.
Tobias - Whyyy?? **whines**
Freak Apple - Hawks are scary.
Cassie - **sits and does nothing because she is a stick of deoderant**
Ax - What is this? Is this food? **reaches for Cassie-oderant**
- - - - -Yeah, yeah, flame me who cares. I just had to get this out of my system. **reverts back to serious mode. . . .and giggles** Hehe, right. . .like I have a serious mode. . .