Speak Now:
Chapter 1:
Nina's pov
It's been 4 years since we broke up. I should be over him, but I'm not. I think about him every day, and it's starting to interfere with my life. I need to find him and see if he will forgive me. I need to feel his arms around me again. I need him to know that I'm sorry and that I never meant for this to happen.
Flashback:
"Nina, it's not what you think, I swear!"
"Tell me Fabian, how you kissing your ex girlfriend could be something else?!"
"Nina, please just let me explain! I love you and I would never-"
"But you did Fabian! You can't deny that! If you loved me you wouldn't have done it in the first place!" I yelled at my boyfriend, tears streaming down my face.
"Why can't you just trust me?!"
"I did trust you! And you just shattered that trust! I love you more than I love myself... But it looks like you don't feel the same way. You cheated on me, and if you do that, I don't think this relationship can last."
"So are you breaking up with me then?" he asked, tears starting to form in his eyes now.
"I have to go Fabian. Good-bye." and with that, I left his apartment and never came back.
I ignored every text, every call, and every letter from him. I was so mad, and I never gave him the chance to explain himself. I realize now that maybe there was more to it than I thought. I wish I hadn't left him, he was really all that I had. I'm now living in an apartment 2 hours away with only a cat to keep me company.
It's pathetic.
Last week I decided enough was enough. I couldn't focus at work anymore because my mind kept wandering back to the days we spent together. I couldn't buy groceries because I found myself buying everything HE liked, rather than what I liked or needed. I can't even sleep anymore because I lie awake imagining how things would be different now if I had let him explain.
So now, here I am. A lonely, hungry, sleep deprived young woman with no social life except for a friendship with her cat. That's why I'm headed back to the city to find Fabian.
I'm currently aboard a coach bus on my way to Atlanta, Georgia. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I knew so well.
"Hello?"
"Hey Amber, it's me."
"Oh my god! Nina?"
"Yeah."
"What's up? How are you? What's been happening? Where have you BEEN?"
"Amber."
"What?"
"Can you please calm down for just a second?"
"Yeah."
"I'm calling because I'm currently on a bus headed for Atlanta. I just realized that I kinda need a place to stay. Are there any cheap motels around your place?"
"My goodness, shut UP Nina! There's no way you're living in a crappy little motel for who knows how long! You HAVE to stay with me! Mick won't mind, he misses you too!"
"Oh right, you moved in with Mick over the summer. I forgot about that..."
"Yeah, it's great actually! Our relationship is going so well! Everything here is absolutely perfect!"
"That's great Ambs, I'm really happy for you! Anyway, I'll be arriving at the airport in about 45 minutes, do you think you could pick me up?"
"For sure! See you soon Neens!"
"Bye Ambs."
Though I wasn't so confident about finding Fabian, I WAS pretty excited about seeing my friends again. Patricia, Mara, Amber, and Piper had all been so upset when I left. They'll be glad to know I'm back. It'll be nice to hear from Eddie and Mick again also. And I guess I'll see Jerome and Alfie too, because they're still dating Mara and Piper.
It's real nice having every one of your friends in a relationship but you. Just great! Not.
It's nothing but a reminder of my failure.
I arrived at the airport in time to find a squealing blob of pink flying towards me at great speed.
"Ninaaaa!" the blob screeched.
"Hey Amber!" I said as she engulfed me in a tight hug.
"I've missed you so much! Come on, let's get going, we have so many things to talk about!" she exclaimed, pulling me out the door and towards her car.
I threw my bag in the trunk and pulled myself into the passenger seat. Amber pulled out of the parking garage, blabbering on about a whole variety of different subjects.
"Anyway, so you came JUST in time because Fabian is having this little get together party for no obvious reason! Now you can come too! It will be all of us from Anubis house! You, me, Mick, Jerome, Mara, Eddie, Patricia, Piper's coming with Alfie, and Joy!" Amber said enthusiastically.
Fabian was having a party? Guess I wasn't invited... Though I guess Amber's inviting me now. Oh and how lovely, Joy, the girl who ruined my life is attending! Wonderful...
"Will you come Nina? Please please pleeeease?!"
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure Fabian wouldn't want me there..."
"Oh please, after you left, his place was a mess! He had photos of you guys everywhere, and I found one of your shirts under his pillow! That's called 'not getting over someone. EVER.'"
"But Amber, that was 4 years ago. I'm sure he's moved on by now. Realized that I wasn't worth anything anyways..."
"Love doesn't die Nina! Never!" and with that Amber parked in front of her small house that she shared with Mick, and quickly hopped out. She grabbed my luggage from the trunk and ran swiftly to the front door. Amazing how she can carry so many bags... Must be from all her shopping.
I followed her up the steps as she unlocked the door.
"Mick!" she yelled.
"Yeah Ambs?!" Mick yelled back from, I'm guessing, upstairs.
"I have someone here you MIGHT want to say hi to!"
"What do you mean?" Mick replied appearing behind a railing on the next floor. "Oh my god! Nina?" He said, shocked to see me.
"Hey Mick" I said, waving awkwardly. He disappeared from behind the railing and came running down the main hall towards us.
"Nina!" he exclaimed, crushing me in a bear hug.
"Can't breathe Mick!"
"Sorry.." he said, letting go of me. "I'm just so happy to see you! It's been so long!"
"Yeah... Sorry about that..." I responded with a timid laugh.
"No problem! It's just so great to have you back Neens!" Mick was absolutely beaming. I gave him a small smile, hoping it would pass as genuine.
"Awww!" cooed Amber, "I can't wait to see everyone else's reaction when they see you! Anyways, we have some unpacking to do, as well as some serious catching up! Follow me Nina." she waved for me to follow her as she started down the hallway. We went up a flight of stairs and turned left into the upstairs corridor.
"Here it is!" she said, as she pushed open the door to a cozy little bedroom. It had a double sized bed in one corner adorned with beige-white sheets and a comforter. On the other side was a window with a view of the front yard. There was a large dresser on the wall between the bed and wall with the window as well as a small closet beside the door.
Amber walked in and put my luggage down in the middle of the room. She took a breath and looked around.
"It's not much," she said. "But it's something. I think it's pretty nice... Feels welcoming, don't you think?"
"It's perfect Amber, thank you." I replied, a smile forming on my lips. A new found confidence arose in my chest. I was back in Atlanta, and by the way Amber and Mick reacted when they saw me, I was sure that everyone else would also be happy that I was here, hopefully including Fabian!
Amber and I talked for a while, mostly about what I'd been up to, and how she's been doing. It was a nice conversation, but eventually, the topic appeared that I was hoping not to talk about.
"Nina," Amber said.
"Yes Amber?"
"Why, after 4 years, did you decide to come back? Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that you're here! But we all thought you had left for good. What made you return?"
I took a deep breath. I really didn't want to tell anybody why I was here, but this was Amber. She was my best friend since high school back in England, the one who was always there for me when I needed her. I could tell her, right?
"I regret leaving," I began as I folded a shirt and placed it in a drawer. "I wish I had stayed and listened to him. He told me there was more to what happened, that I didn't know the whole story. I was too upset to see past anything, so I left. I realized when I was gone how stupid I was. I should have let him explain, there could have been more to what happened than I thought. Finally I decided that I had to come back. I needed to forgive him and more than that, I needed him to forgive me. I know that he's probably moved on, and I'm probably wasting my time, but I just need to apologize. It's been driving me crazy, the way I walked out on him without letting him say anything. I have to set things right." I said, Amber clinging to every word.
"Awwwww!" she squealed. "If Fabian heard that he would dump Joy faster than... Uh... Something really fast!"
Great... So Fabian was with Joy now... I mean, I knew he'd have moved on already, but with Joy?! He told me he hated her! But then again, it was her that I caught him snogging on the day we broke up.
"I doubt that Amber. He loves Joy, he always has. I was just nothing to him..."
"Nina. He loved, correction, LOVES you! I'm telling you, he never got over you! He just went with Joy in an attempt to forget you because he missed you so much! Trust me, I know these things." I rolled my eyes.
The phone rang and Amber went to get it, leaving me alone in my new temporary room.
No matter what Amber said, I couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't care about me anymore. I know that he loves Joy, he has to! It's what makes sense... But then again, I also feel like there's still hope for us. I guess I'll find out at his party next week.