Disclaimer: I do not own the anime series "Hareluya II Boy" or any of it's characters or content. Neither do I own Batman. They are property of Umezawa Haruto and DC Comics respectively. No profit is being made from this story. It is written purely for enjoyment.
Author's Note: This story was inspired by Atop the Fourth Wall, particularly Linkara's joke that Batman hates rock and roll.
Bruce Wayne had taken a trip to Tokyo to oversee testing of a line of robots developed at Wayne Enterprises Japanese branch. The robots had been designed for law enforcement but Bruce fully intended to appropriate them for his own use as Batman.
One evening, in need of some action after a meeting with the stockholders had left him bored out of his mind, Bruce had donned his costume and gone out to patrol the city.
It's been an hour and I haven't seen anything, not even a jaywalker he thought as he crouched on a rooftop and brooded. Maybe I should head back and…
Then he heard it. The thing he despised more than anything else.
Rock and roll!
With a snarl of anger Batman fired his grapple gun and swung off in search of the source of the hated sound. He soon tracked it to a concert hall with a large sign that read "Live House Dali." He touched down on the rooftop of an adjacent building and began studying the area through his bat-binoculars.
In the main hall three guys were on stage, two guitarists and a drummer. The auditorium was empty except for two spectators. There was an open window through which the music drifted.
Just a small-time band rehearsing Batman thought. Good. If I'm to rid the world of rock and roll I need to eliminate the next generation before they can begin to spread their madness.
He reached down and pressed a button on his utility belt, sending out a remote control signal. Several miles away a concealed hatch opened and the batmobile's engine came on. It drove out of the hidden garage and began cruising through the streets.
Unaware of the terrible danger lurking nearby Ichijou continued playing his guitar as he sang, his blue eyes wide with the imagined sight of crowds of fans. He was dressed in his usual guitarist outfit, a black leather jacket with red cuffs, blue jeans and black shoes. A red and white bandana covered his forehead. He twisted his head from side to side, sending his bright red shoulder-length hair in all directions.
Watching him and his bandmates, Shiina and Amamiya, as they played were his two best friends Hibino Hareluya and Yamana Michiru. Well, Yamana was watching, Hibino was playing a handheld video game. But it was clear from the way he was bobbing his head that he was still listening to the music and that was what mattered.
Yamana applauded as the song finished. She was a beautiful girl, lean and slender with gold-brown hair that came to her shoulder blades. Her light brown eyes gleamed as she smiled. She wore a school uniform consisting of a maroon top, a grey skirt, white socks and brown shoes.
"That was so cool!" she exclaimed. "Wasn't it cool Hibino?"
"Hmm? Oh yes, great" he replied absent-mindedly, not looking up from his game. He was a tall, strongly built teenager with spiky black hair and brown eyes. He wore his blue school uniform and black shoes.
She took a deep breath, ready to yell into his ear but Ichijou came over and tapped her on the shoulder.
"It's okay" he whispered to her. "It's a relief to not have to put up with his heckling for a change."
She nodded in understanding and he smiled. "I appreciate the thought though" he added.
"You're welcome" she replied.
Just then there was a sudden crash of breaking glass. Everyone looked over to see three metal orbs come flying through the broken window. They hit the floor and began spewing out thick clouds of white mist as they rolled along.
Hibino, Ichijou and Yamana hurriedly withdrew into a corridor before the smoke could fill the hall. Amamiya and Shiina however were not so fortunate and were quickly engulfed. They immediately began coughing and choking. Despite that they managed to call out from within the cloud.
"What's going on?"
"Ichijou where are you?"
"Over here! Follow the sound of my voice" he called back.
Neither of them replied. Coming to his senses Hibino looked down at the game in his hand and his eyes bulged.
"My new high score! Ruined!"
Ichijou ignored him. "I'm going in!"
"Wait Ichijou" said Yamana anxiously.
"I've got to" he repeated as he charged into the smoke and disappeared from sight.
Hidden by the smoke screen Batman leapt through the broken window and swiftly knocked out the first two rockers. When the third came running in he too was taken down. Batman hastily took each one back outside and began loading them into the back of the batmobile.
Back inside Hibino and Yamana were peering into the smoke cloud, wondering what was going on.
"We have to help them" said Yamana firmly.
"Leave this to Ore-sama" said Hibino. He reached behind his back and pulled out a battery-powered electric fan. With a push of a button the blades roared as they began spinning. He held the fan in front of him and used it to blow the smoke out through the window. As it cleared he saw what was going on outside.
"Oi!" Hibino yelled. He raced forwards and leapt outside, with Yamana right behind him. Batman ignored them as he got into the batmobile and drove off.
"Damn it! Ore-sama's bike is at home" Hibino complained. He started to chase after it but stopped as he saw a taxi come around a nearby corner. Yamana covered her ears just in time as Hibino bellowed at the top of his lungs, "TAXI!"
The cab pulled to a halt and they quickly got in. Hibino pointed at the batmobile and snapped, "follow that funny car."
The driver was startled but obeyed, driving after the batmobile. They followed it through the city for several miles, with Hibino glowering at the odd-looking vehicle and Yamana watching it with concern.
Finally they came to a warehouse. As Batman approached an automated door swung open and he drove through, the door closing behind him.
"Stop" said Hibino. The driver parked and they both got out. Hibino handed over some money to the cabbie and muttered, "keep the change." The cabbie accepted the money and drove off immediately.
Wow, he must really be worried about Ichijou and the others Yamana thought.
He cracked his knuckles. "That guy will pay for wrecking Ore-sama's score."
"Hibino!" Yamana exclaimed crossly.
"Yes, we'll save Ichijou and the other two while we're at it" he added dismissively.
She sighed. "Come on, let's find a way in."
"You don't need to tell Ore-sama twice."
"Uggh" Ichijou groaned as he sat up and pressed a hand to his aching head. He recalled charging into the smoke cloud to try and help his bandmates, his eyes stinging and his throat burning as he looked around for them. Then something had hit him and he'd lost consciousness.
He looked around and saw that he, Shiina and Amamiya were all laying in a small, empty room with a grey floor, ceiling and walls. The only exception was the wall in front of him which looked to be made of glass. Through it he could see another plain wall, although this one looked like concrete. There was no sign of Yamana or Hibino. He hoped they were all right, wherever they were.
Ichijou checked on Shiina and Amamiya. They were okay but still out cold. Satisifed with that, he stood up and went over to the transparent wall. He pressed a hand to it and tapped it.
Not glass. Some kind of clear plastic he thought. He looked through more closely and his jaw dropped. What's going on here?
They were inside some kind of storage facility. A metal staircase led up from the ground to the clear wall which he now realised was a door, the only way in or out of the cell that he, Shiina and Amamiya were in, which was over ten feet off the ground. There were several large steel containers and wooden packing crates arranged throughout the chamber. Strangest of all was a bank of computers against a wall. A single figure stood in front of the computer bank, typing at a keyboard.
The figure was a tall Western man wearing a bizarre costume. It consisted of a grey tunic and leggings with blue boots, gloves and a cape with scalloped edges. His head was covered by a blue cowl with pointy ears that left only his jaw visible. Around his waist was a bright yellow utility belt and on his chest was a matching yellow emblem with a black bat symbol in the middle. Over his grey leggings was a pair of blue underpants.
"Hey!" Ichijou yelled as he slammed his fist against the plastic wall. "You! What do you think you're playing at?"
Batman looked over his shoulder. Seeing that one of the punks was awake he pressed a button that turned on the intercom. He then picked up a microphone and spoke into it.
"Shut up punk!"
Ichijou jumped as the gravely, raspy voice boomed inside his cell but he quickly regained his composure. "Who are you and what are you doing?"
"I'm Batman, and I'm here to stop you and your evil music."
"What? Our music isn't evil" Ichijou said.
"Wrong!" Batman barked. "You're punks! And punk is nothing but death… and crime… and the rage of a beast."
Ichijou was so stunned by that he couldn't speak.
Batman went on. "I'm going to launch you into space onboard my bat-rocket. In space no-one can hear rock and roll music."
"You're crazy!" Ichijou yelled.
"No, I'm Batman." With that he pressed the button again, switching off the intercom. Ichijou pounded futilely on the wall while yelling in rage.
"Now to finish programming the bat-rocket's flight path" said Batman as he resumed tapping keys. There was a sudden beeping from the console and he looked over at a nearby monitor.
"Intruders."
"Hibino, look there" Yamana called. She pointed to an air duct grill.
"Good job" said Hibino. "Ore-sama will go first."
He dragged over an empty crate and climbed onto it. Seemingly from thin air he produced a screwdriver and used it to remove the grill.
"Be careful" she called as he clambered into the air duct.
"Ore-sama will be fine" he called back. With that he began crawling through the rectangular duct. It was surprisingly clean, the metal surfaces glinting faintly in the ambient light.
Good. If Ore-sama had gotten covered in dust then that guy would really need to be taught a lesson he thought. In just a few moments he found another grill.
"Ha! Ore-sama's perfect sense of direction never fails" he crowed. "Yamana, there's a grill leading in on the left" he yelled back down the duct.
"I'm on my way" he heard her reply.
It was a fairly tight fit in the duct but Hibino was able to turn enough to put his foot to the grill and push it off. He dropped to the floor and stepped forwards, ready for any attack but none came. Behind him he heard Yamana jump down and land lightly on her feet as he took in the scene.
In the middle of the chamber was a blue rocket the size of a bus with a yellow and black bat emblem painted on it and a pair of bat-like wings at its base. Just under the nose cone was a clear section and inside it was Ichijou. He was hammering his fists against it with a furious look on his face. Directly in front of the rocket was a platform with a metal staircase leading to the floor.
Batman turned away from the bat-computer and glared at them. "You made a big mistake in coming here" he growled.
Hibino began laughing at the top of his lungs. After a few seconds he managed to get a hold of himself enough to say, "W, what is with that costume? It's the silliest thing Ore-sama's ever seen! And that voice! It just…" His words trailed off as he lapsed back into laughter.
Yamana didn't laugh but she couldn't help smiling at how absurd the costumed figure was.
Batman scowled. "That's it punk! You're mine!"
He charged in to attack, as did Hibino. As they got in range both of them threw simultaneous punches that collided and sent the other flying backwards. Both hit the ground and sprang to their feet.
Hibino smirked and rubbed his jaw. "Not a bad punch cape guy."
"I'm Batman."
"Ore-sama doesn't care."
Batman came at him with a fast series of blows. Hibino managed to block the first few but then Batman landed a left hook followed by a right cross. Hibino took a step back, shook his head slightly and smirked again.
"Not bad at all."
Batman was shocked. Those were two of my best shots and they barely fazed him.
He threw a spinning hook kick but Hibino ducked under it and threw an uppercut that launched Batman back through the air. He flipped around and landed on his feet.
"You're going down punk!"
He drew a batarang from his utility belt and hurled it at his foe. Hibino grinned broadly as he pulled a baseball bat from behind his back and swung it, hitting the batarang and knocking it out of the air. Batman flung another batarang and it was also knocked away.
"Ore-sama likes bats too" said Hibino smugly.
While they were fighting Yamana ran up the staircase to the platform. Ichijou stopped hitting the wall as he saw her.
"Hold on" she said reassuringly.
On one side of the hatchway was a control panel with two buttons, one green and one red. She pressed the green button and the hatchway slid open with a hiss.
"Are you all right Ichijou?" she asked,
"I'm fine but Amamiya and Shiina are still out cold" he replied. "Quick, give me a hand."
"Okay."
Ducking under a punch from Hibino, Batman glanced over at the bat-rocket and saw that the rockers had gotten out. It was time to step things up.
He back-flipped over to the computer and pressed a key. "Bat-bots activate!"
Ichijou and Yamana had just gotten the unconscious Shiina and Amamiya to the ground when two containers hissed open and a hulking metal figure emerged from each one.
The bat-bots were over two metres tall with their limbs and heads painted black and a yellow Batman emblem painted on their steel-grey torsos. Each sported two pointed ears, three backwards-curved blades on each forearm and two glowing yellow optics on an otherwise featureless face.
Ichijou and Yamana stared at the robots in disbelief while Hibino grinned.
"Bat-bots, stop them!" Batman ordered.
With a whirring of servos the robots moved to attack, one going after Ichijou and Yamana, the other going after Hibino.
"Get Shiina and Amamiya out of here. I'll distract it" said Ichijou firmly as he set Shiina down on the floor.
"Ichijou…"
"I'll be fine." He darted away and the Bat-bot followed him.
Hibino laughed again as the other Bat-bot approached him. "That clunker won't stop Ore-sama" he boasted.
It doesn't have to, just stall you for a bit Batman thought as he ran over to a crate and began unpacking the contents.
Hibino easily dodged a few blows from the Bat-bot's fists and then swung his bat. His first blow knocked aside its arm and his second crumpled the robot's metal head like a tin can. It toppled over and fell onto its back. The whirring ceased as the robot shut down.
"Ha, that was easy."
"The fun stops here punk" said Batman.
Hibino looked over and saw that his opponent was now clad in a gun-metal grey suit of armour, including a helmet that left only his mouth visible. The helmet's eye-pieces glowed a bright blue-white.
"Now you've had it! I'm prepared for anything! In my bat-armour I'm invincible!" Batman proclaimed.
"We'll see about that" replied Hibino as he tossed his bat to the floor.
Ichijou wasn't having as much luck. He had managed to evade every attack from the Bat-bot, but now he was being backed into a corner and was fast running out of maneovering room. He seized a wooden crate and threw it but the robot smashed it with one blow.
Yamana was dragging Amamiya away from the battle when she spotted something. On the floor was a mop and bucket.
"That's it" she said.
She picked up the bucket and ran over just as Ichijou's back came up against a wall. The Bat-bot turned to face her and she threw the bucket's contents over it. Soapy water splashed all over the robot's armour. Blue electricity flickered over the Bat-bot as it short-circuited. Its arms fell to its sides and the glow of its optics faded as it ceased moving.
Ichijou wiped his brow. "Thanks."
"It's okay" she replied.
Hibino and Batman were still battling fiercely. To Batman's shock Hibino was still able to take every hit he landed, even with the bat-armour. He landed a head-butt that staggered him briefly but Hibino shook it off almost immediately and responded with a right hook that broke off the helmet's chin-guard.
"It's impossible. You're not human, you're a beast" Batman ranted. "A beast of rock and roll! I must destroy you!"
"Wrong. I'm Hibino Hareluya and Ore-sama is going to rule the world" Hibino replied.
Batman lunged at him but Hibino sidestepped his punch, lifted Batman over his head with ease and hurled him into the computer banks, smashing them flat. As Batman pulled himself up from the wreckage Hibino leapt at him and landed a flying knee strike to his vulnerable chin. Batman went down and stayed down.
"Ha, loser" Hibino said mockingly. He stared down at his beaten foe as Ichijou and Yamana walked up and stood beside him.
The next day the three of them were back at Live House Dali, as were Amamiya and Shiina. Ichijou was studying a newspaper.
"Check this out. This Batman guy has been wanted for crimes against rock and roll. He's destroyed memorabilia stores, equipment suppliers, terrorised concerts…" He shook his head, barely able to belive what he was reading. "When the cops took him away he was screaming "rock music is evil! Kill the beast!""
Hibino snorted. "What a loon."
"I'll say" Yamana agreed. "I can't believe he wanted to launch you into space just for being rock musicians."
"Yes. Even Ore-sama doesn't think your music is that bad" Hibino added. "Still that guy got one thing right."
Ichijou and Yamana looked at him curiously. "What was that?" Ichijou asked.
"Building a rocket ship of course. When Ore-sama rules the world he will have his own rocket built and then he will go on to rule the universe!" He stood up and punched the air exaltedly.
"I'm starting to wonder if I'd have been better off in space" Ichijou muttered. "At least then I wouldn't have to listen to this."
"Don't worry Ichijou" said Yamana kindly. "You don't need to be in space to be a star."
He smiled. "Thanks."
"Him, a star?" Hibino scoffed. "Never. Maybe a dwarf star."
"What was that?"
As Hibino and Ichijou continued bickering Yamana smiled and went over to where Ichijou's band-mates were shaking their heads.
"I'm afraid they'll be at this awhile" she said apologetically.
Amamiya sighed. "I'll make us some tea."
"Yes please."
Author's Note: The line "punk is nothing but death… and crime… and the rage of a beast" is from "Batman: Fortunate Son" and Linkara's review of it.
The bat-rocket is based on the one shown in the "Super Friends" cartoon, the bat-bots are based on the deluxe Bat-mech figure from the animated movie "Batman Unlimited: Mechs vs. Mutants" and of course the bat-armour is based on the one from "Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice."