Can't Speak Up

A/N: My writer's block is getting really bad, I have no idea when Error will be updated, and I have no clue if I can even finish anyone of the one shots I have started. Anyway, here is Fear of Dying. Apologies for the OOC if you feel it is there.

Song: Fear of Dying by Jack off Jill

He still wears the hat, it still sits atop his head, a perfect little blue thing on top of silky black hair. He still flips everyone off, he still sounds like a monotone robot. All of the girlfriends he has had have told him the same line of things. "Will you take off that ratty old hat?" "Seriously? Again, how many people do you have to flip off? Some teacher is going to notice you know?" "Do you even care about what I am saying? You sound like a robot."

Oh I had heard them all, standing there complaining, tugging on his arm like he was some sort of toy, pulling at the hat he held onto. I saw them all stalk away with a flounce, their pretty blonde hair slapping him in the face. He had a thing for blondes, I don't think I have seen him with anyone else. But all the blondes in this school, all the girls in this school, they are all bitches. Thinking that they were special enough to change him. Hah. How wrong they all were, if I wasn't afraid of speaking up I would tell them that it was no use, that them trying to change Craig would be a failure. But if I could do that, I could tell him that I love him, that I want him to be mine. God, I wish I could speak up.

He is with Bebe at the moment. She clings onto him with perfectly manicured fingers, a smug look on her face. Oh yes, she believes she has claimed some sort of prize, all of the girls in the school want to be with Craig. I have seen girls fuss over their hair, trying to dye it to the colour of blonde he likes. If I had the courage to speak up to them, I would tell them that it was hopeless, that craig only liked natural blondes. But I don't, I would say this is because of the fact that I cant speak up, but I find it funny, watching them all try in vain to get close to him.

"So Craig, I was thinking maybe we should go catch that new movie, you know the one where the man goes to find his true love by travelling all over the world."

"I don't want to go see a chick flick."

Here it goes, the conversation, or maybe it are the few words that she says, the ones he'll do anything for.

"We can go back to my place afterwards, you know," she leans forward to whisper in his ear, it is so quiet but I know the words off by heart "my parents aren't home."

I watch as he grunts, and mumbles a fine. There we go, there is his afternoon gone, just for that bittersweet taste of adulthood. He admits he doesn't feel proud of doing it, of going over to girl after girl's houses. But you know during the moment he is having the best time of his life. I can't blame him he is a guy, that is all, or what I think we all think of. I can't say I know, I can't take an interest in females, not when there is Craig around. I would prefer to look at him, than the girls around me. Not that they take interest in me either, who wants to date Craig's twitchy puppy. Craig's twitchy puppy. My nickname amongst the girls. They call me clingy, attached, they say I should get a life. Oh but they don't care about me, they just care about themselves, and the fact they can't get to be around Craig as often as I can. They are so pathetically see through.

I'm Craig's best friend. He even said so himself. We were at Token's house, and while Token and Clyde slept, he whispered it so softly. "I like you the best." Then he fell asleep, and as he slept I saw how angelic he was. He was smiling for once, cheeks a perfect rosy red. Those girls will never see that innocent beauty of his, it was a moment mine.

"Hey Tweekers, you wanna catch a movie with us?"

"What? Craig, don't just ask him, this is a DATE, not a casual hangout."

"Sure Craig."

I knew it, he really doesn't want to go to this film. When he doesn't want to do what they want, he invites me to come along with them. You can see the literal fire in the eyes of the girls. They don't want their precious little date to be accompanied by an extra.

"But, no! I don't want him coming."

"I want him to come."

She sighs, and gives up in defeat. They all do it, too afraid of losing their little prize they give up and allow him to do whatever he wants. I think he realized this, seeing as I saw how Annie ended up with piercings all over her face, Craig them, you can tell. He was smirking the whole day.

And sure enough the movie was boring, the movie however, well, we had an interesting time. There was a question always on my mind why Craig dated blondes when he could easily have any girl he wanted, with any hair colour. And it wasn't like he was Cartman who had an Aryan superiority thing going on. It wasn't a question any of the girls thought too much over, they just wanted to be the girl with blonde hair.

"Tweek," he whispered, right into my ear, his hot breath on my neck. "I don't like her."

"I know."

His hand is on my leg, he moves it from the knee, to my thigh, with one long feather like stroke. His eyes are on me, with a look I never saw, a look of absolute feverish feelings, the places which he stared were burning hot, hotter than anything I have ever felt.

"I like you Tweek."

I lick my lips, his hand moves to my crotch, I bite down, his expert hand working its way down my pants, into my boxers. God. His hand takes a hold on my penis, I start to shake, god, what if someone sees.

"Tweek." His lips are on my ear, his tongue licking the lobe, his hand moving faster and faster, my breath hitches, he is smiling, smirking, I don't know, but he leans closer, so close I can feel his heart pound. Or, or is that my heart, I don't know, everything it getting hazy as I reach an orgasm. His steady pace starts getting frantic.

"G-god." I am sure someone has noticed. Hell, someone must have noticed. I finish, he pulls his hand away, and kisses my cheek softly, the movie is over.

"You're the reason I like blondes so much."

A/N: Well that may have been crap, and wasn't how I managed it going, I was just thinking about doing another depressing story, but I guess it just doesn't go that way. Hah, I hope you liked it. Sorry if it was bad.