Chapter One- Eyes Open
Quentin Fields was a basketball player. He was also a son. A brother. Somebody's teammate. Somebody's friend. I never knew Quentin Fields and I guess now I never will. Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love. I didn't know Quentin Fields but I'm jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them. And I know he was loved. People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player. Graceful. Fluid. Inspiring. They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly. And now he can.
Everybody's waiting
Everybody's watching
Even when you're sleeping Keep your ey-eyes open
He reached for her hand and clutched it tight, he didn't ever want to let go, not now, not after everything that had meaning seemed to disappear.
Brooke gripped Jamie's hand and watched as her friends walked away weighed down by grief. She had not known Quentin personally but from what her friends had told her he was a great kid, misunderstood and guided by the views of his peers but a great person. He was amazing at basketball and Brooke could sense that his presence would be dearly missed by everyone by the turn-out to the young boy's funeral. Everything about those last three words were wrong, no young child should have to die, when they have not yet lived to their full potential. No young child should have to suffer through the loss either, not understanding properly what was happening, not completely grasping why they can't go out and see that person again. But it wasn't just the children she felt sorry for it was everyone. Yes everyone dies at some point in their life but they should die when they have lived their life to the full potential, loved to the full capacity of their hearts and viewed the world through ever single colour. A person should die by natural causes and not because a sadistic person with a twisted view on life decided to break the law and got caught. Quentin's life had only just begun and Brooke felt deeply for her friends who had only just started to watch the young boy grow.
The tricky thing Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers, Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score
Keep your eyes open
"Thanks for coming Brooke, you didn't have to, we know how hard it is with our mother right now." Haley said coming up to Brooke with a glass of wine.
"Anything that can help you, just say the word." Brooke promised her friend who thanked her.
"He was just a young boy." Peyton spoke up from her seat beside Lucas on the couch. She was nestled in wrapped underneath her fiancée's arm and Lucas was snuggled in tightly beside her. Looking around the room, Brooke noticed that all of the sad and lonely had someone to hold on to, someone to comfort them. Lucas had Peyton, Haley had Nathan, Jamie had his parents, Skills had Deb and even in Omaha, happy and content, Mouth had Millie. But who did she have? A few days ago, Brooke could have said that she had Peyton, Millie and Mouth, she would have said that Angie was enough for her and that the baby kept her happy. But where was Angie now, sleeping soundly with her loving parents watching over her? Now Brooke had no-one, she was sad, lonely and dealing with her pain alone.
"He didn't deserve to die." Lucas's voice cracked at the end and everyone could feel his pain, wallow in it to hide their own grief.
"One out of every five hundred people gets assaulted all rape. There were over 30,000 aggravated assaults in our state alone last year, 7,000 robberies, 3,000 murders and 600 rapes. It's official, life sucks and then you die." Brooke stated bitterly, looking regretfully down at Jamie who had heard every word.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please excuse me." Brooke ignored the worried looks people were giving her and brushed past her friends on the way out, ending up by Nathan and Haley's pool.
After five minutes had past, Brooke decided it was safe for her to go back in, venturing past the living room doors she was met with pitiful looks.
"Come sit over here, B Davis and take those sunglasses off." Peyton patted the free seat beside her which was now vacant because Lucas had decided to go over and talk to his godson.
"Thanks Peyton." Brooke said quietly as she slowly sat down on the cushioned couch.
"Let me see your eyes, Brooke tell me what you're thinking." Peyton asked, wanting to know what had caused Brooke's sudden outburst.
"I'm thinking that P Sawyer has a slight obsession with my eyes." Brooke's raspy voice was unusually gravelly, Peyton noticed, like something was wrong with her throat.
"Hey Brooke, what's with the change of voice."
"This is how I speak Peyton."
"No, it's different." Peyton said.
"Look, Peyt, we're at a funeral for a young boy who's died, we can focus on me later." Brooke sighed, not liking the inquisitive questions.
"Alright, but if something has happened, you can come to me."
"I know P Sawyer, you're my best friend."
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Once most of the guests had dispersed including Skills and Deb (Something about making him feel better) then did Brooke find herself peppered with questions about her earlier speech.
"Brooke, Quentin dying, that's going to be a pretty prominent thing in our lives for a while, but that doesn't mean you can't come to us with your problems." It was Nathan's turn to tell Brooke words that she had heard from all her friends.
They all said that they were here for her, that they would be there for her but whenever the time did arise that she needed someone the weren't there and that had helped to crumble Brooke's trust and dependency on others. She believed in being independent and doing things on your own, she didn't like to burden others with her problems.
"I'm fine really."
"That sounds like something I would have said."
"Honestly Nate, my problems are easily dealt with, I can handle them, but right now your family is grieving, I don't need to burden you with my unimportant issues."
"None of your issues are unimportant Brooke, but if you say your fine and you can handle them then it's all good. I hope that's true and maybe it is but the thing is, the two of us have been down very similar roads, we were in the same cliques first, we both felt the same pressure, the same expectations. Our parents were children and we both grew in to kind of bad versions of ourselves way too fast. So I think you know, I get it.
"They never gave us a chance did they? our parents?"
"They didn't know how, look the thing is, you've made your dream happen, alright? And even though didn't quite get there, when it was taken away from me, dealt with it alone. That was stupid and selfish and wrong. So if your mom tries to take your dream away from you and you feel the same pan I did, I've sorta been there okay? And I'm going to be kind of pissed off it you don't come talk to me about it."
Brooke nodded "Thanks Nate, but don't worry I can deal with Victoria, right now what matters is making sure you, Haley and Luke are okay."
"Thanks for coming today Brooke, it means a lot. I know you didn't know Quentin, but it doesn't surprise me that you're thinking of other people when all this stuff is going on with you. Come here." Nathan leaned forward to give Brooke a hug, but she flinched away from him.
"Sorry Nate it's just I-I fell down the stairs yesterday after getting caught up in the sheets and it-it hurts to hug right now."
"Ouch, I'm sorry Brooke, now what do you say we go back to the others and make sure they're ok too."
Brooke smiled, grateful that Nathan hadn't pressed on the subject and went over to the corner to speak with her godson, she knelt down to his level and apologised for her words earlier.
So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you
But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open
"I'm sorry Jamie, for what I said earlier, I was just angry and upset."
"It's ok Aunt Brooke, we all are sometimes." Jamie gave his Aunt a pat and his expression showed hurt when she recoiled from his touch.
"Is this like the bruises?" Jamie asked wisely, having spotted them during Brooke's break-down at the coffin.
"Yeah Jamie it is, I fell down the stairs yesterday and I'm just a little sore." Brooke said sadly.
"Are you going to get better?" Jamie didn't want to lose another person, especially not his Aunt Brooke.
"It will take some time, but I'll get better James Lucas Scott, just as I know that soon you won't feel so sad anymore." Brooke nuzzled his nose with hers.
"How did you know I feel sad?"
"Because we all do, and because Quentin meant something to you, and when you lose something that meant a lot to you then it hurts, and you feel sad and you cry."
"Did you lose someone Aunt Brooke?"
"Why would you ask that?"
"Because you were crying earlier." Jamie pointed out.
"No J-Luke, I'm just a little sad and lonely."
"I'll make you feel less lonely Aunt Brooke." Jamie snuggled in close to his aunt careful not to touch parts of her body that hurt, which was hard because it all did.
"Jamie, it's time for your bedtime." Haley crossed the room.
"But I'm making Aunt Brooke feel less lonely."
"It's okay J-Luke, I'll be fine, now you need to get your beauty sleep."
"Can I help you feel less sad tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure buddy, and I'll return the favour."
With one last look at his favourite aunt Jamie left the room closely followed by his mum who sent Brooke a thankful look as she exited.
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes
"You ever going to take those glasses off, and that coat aren't you hot?" Peyton asked her friend who was still bundled up.
"I'm fine, I should be leaving anyway." Brooke stood, ready to say her goodbyes.
"Stay." Those were the first words that Lucas Scott had said to Brooke all day.
"Please, just so that we can all be together again, at least for a little while, it might make us feel better."
Nathan nodded in agreement with his brother and so Brooke retreated back to an arm-chair curling herself up in it.
"I'll take your coat." Nathan held out his arms to the brunette who shook her head.
"I'm a little cold, it's better if I keep it on."
"Come on Brooke it's still really humid out and the temperature's around 80°"
"I'm just…a little embarrassed." Brooke said.
"Why have you come out in some weird rash?"
"No, it's just…my bruises…from falling down the stairs."
"Oh, honey, you fell down the stairs?" Peyton asked, concern masking her voice.
"I just…got tangled up in a bunch of sheets and fell headfirst." Brooke lied.
"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry." Peyton was about to hug her but Brooke stopped her.
"I'm still a little sore."
Slowly she slid off the over-sized black sunglasses that had been masking her face revealing the large black and blue bruises that surrounded her eyes. She was thankful for the foundation that she had applied to hide the rest of the bruises on her face as gasps went around the group.
With shaking hands, Brooke unbuttoned her coat too and the others soon saw the purple bruises that lined her arms and chest.
"Are they on your legs too?" Lucas pointed to her legs covered in opaque tights, Brooke nodded, not giving away the information that they were worse down there, and that she also had a few knife marks and some nasty scrapes.
"What happened?" Haley appeared at the entrance to the room having put a worn-out Jamie to bed.
"I fell down the stairs." Brooke told her friend who came rushing over.
"Oh I'm so sorry Brooke. Is this why you've been aloof and upset all day?"
"I'm sorry if I made the mood worse."
"I don't think that could've happened!" Nathan recalled the looks of anguish and distress upon the guests of the funeral and his friends.
"I can't believe he's gone." Lucas stared out in to the garden.
"I don't know how to make sense of it, I had to go to school yesterday and tell his classmates and if I at twenty two years can't make sense of it, then how the hell are they."
"We've been through this before and we got through, we can do it this time, together." Brooke told them, making them think back to the death of their beloved Keith.
"He's really gone, isn't he." Jamie stood near the door, holding a toy Brooke had bought him and dragging a blue blanket behind him.
"Jamie, you're supposed to be in bed."
"I can't sleep, what if you go too?" A tear dribbled down Jamie's cheek and Brooke felt her heart go out to the poor child.
"Here let me take him to bed." She stood, not caring about the intake of breath from her friends.
"Your bruises." Jamie traced the ones around Brooke's neck with his fingers as she bent down beside him.
"Now, come on, you need to go to sleep, I promise you that we'll all be here tomorrow."
"You promise." Jamie yawned as Brooke gathered the young boy in her arms, ignoring the looks from her friends that read 'Your injured, I'll carry him' and carried him to his bedroom.
Laying her godson on his bed, Brooke tucked him in and kissed his forehead.
"I promise, Jamie." She crept out of the room, flicking the light switch as she made her way back downstairs.
"I'd better be going." She announced, taking her coat off of the staircase and slipping it on.
"Let me know how your meeting with the board goes." Peyton called to her as she murmured quietly with Lucas.
" I will, love you guys."
"We love you too Brooke."
She shut the door to the 'Naley' household and with soft footsteps made her way down the path towards her car.
Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open
Getting in, Brooke scanned the area and once she was sure it was all clear, unlocked her car and got in.
Quickly she started the engine and drove down the road that her friends lived on. As she entered down, Brooke took a de-tour, making sure that Clothes Over Bro's was not on the route back to her house.
Once she arrived she again made sure the coast was clear before getting out and opening her front door.
Closing her front door Brooke double locked it and sank down on to the floor.
She had promised Jamie that she would still be here tomorrow but Brooke didn't know if all of her would. She felt as if pieces of her were gradually breaking off and Brooke didn't know if she was strong enough this time to survive.
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open
Keep your ey-eyes open Keep your ey-eyes open