It's more difficult to come up with something to put on a card then Cloud thought it would be. Especially something to put on a Valentine's Day card. It's the first one he's ever made. He's always told Zack that he wouldn't make him a card, that it's too girly, but this year is different. Granted, it's only the second year since he and Zack even recognized Valentine's Day together. The first year hardly seemed to count anyway. At least it wouldn't seem to count for anyone else.
It was a cool day, and Cloud had just gotten home and changed into some comfortable clothes. Zack knocked on the door, and Cloud accused him of following him home. Zack couldn't really argue the accusation. Cloud was tired, but Zack was there, dressed in a black sweater and snow boots, even though there was hardly any snow. Something about Zack made Cloud unable to say no to dinner, which was promptly offered after a drawn out stare. Cloud had worn a blue turtleneck and a red scarf, which Zack tugged on from time to time as they walked. It was a quiet day, and Cloud's drowsiness fought his ability to hear past the sound of the two pairs of boots treading along the ground next to each other, closer than most people walk, closer than just friends walk. It had been almost a month since he and Zack first kissed, and he hadn't seen much of Zack since. It felt more empty than it should have felt. Cloud had barely seen Zack more than twice a month before they noticed each other. He talked to him from time to time, but it was never a big deal. It was never as big as two pairs of boots walking side by side.
The quiet remained for a while, even for a little while after they took their seats in the quiet restaurant. It didn't feel like an empty quiet though. Zack was there. It was almost startling when he spoke to tell the waitress his order. Zack's voice was a nice sound to be startled by. It was a boyish and calming voice, and soft, especially while he was relaxed. Cloud had shivered a bit when he heard it break the silence. He had never been affected by anyone's voice like that. That would have been something he'd be troubled by, if it wasn't Zack's voice. Somehow, Zack made it okay. He wanted to hear Zack's voice again, so he talked. Cloud broke the silence, and Zack broke the silence, until there was any more silence to break. They talked about their work, and their lives, what they did last week, and what they planned on doing tomorrow. They talked about everything other than the kiss, but somehow, that was okay too. Zack was there. And when the silence came back, Zack exhaled, pushed his drink with his finger, and finally, he looked up and said; "You know, it's Valentine's Day."
Cloud remembers that day as his scissors cut through construction paper in the shape of a feather. He remembers how they kissed for the second time that night, and how they never only saw each other twice a month after that. Cloud places the second of the feather cutouts down on his card to be. He feels silly, like a little girl with a crush, but all he can remember is Zack trying to tell him to do this. "It's not silly!" Zack would say. Then Cloud would tell him that there were plenty of girls that he could get to make him a Valentine, to which he would respond, "You're the only person I want a Valentine from, Cloud!" and then Cloud would be without words, because Zack was there, and Zack could do that to Cloud. He was the only one who could do that to Cloud. Then Cloud ended up promising that he'd make one for him... someday. Because Zack was the only one who could make him do that too.
Cloud pastes the final feather in a bouquet on the card, and begins to cut the last item. He never thought that he'd ever be cutting a heart out of paper for someone. He cuts the heart his own way; almost like a reverse tear drop, and places it down among the feathers. It isn't much, he thinks, and looks sort of like something a kid would make, but that's probably something that Zack would like. He writes on the pages inside, and folds the card closed. He slips on his boots, even though there isn't much snow, and wraps a scarf around his neck. The same scarf he wore the last year. Walking down the same paths this time of the year brings back memories, except this time, there is only one pair of boots. Cloud smiles at the card gripped in his hand as he walks, careful not to let it bend, and pictures another set of shoes next to his. He breaks from the path he once walked to the diner, and takes another road. It's a little cooler this year, he thinks. Then he walks onto the grassy field, takes a long breathe, card in hand, and moves on with a smile.
"Hey, Zack." He lets a pause go by as he fidgets with his card, "I made you one this year." He stands there in silence for a moment, as a zephyr blows through the cemetery. His eyes close, and he holds the card close to his body, not to lose it to even a gentle breeze. The wind dies down, and he lowers himself to his knees to touch the gravestone and trace his fingers over the Z on the name. "See?" He says, his smile both weak and strong, "You always said that you liked feathers. They were liberating... right?" He lets his eyes fall, examining the front of the card and letting his fingers run down the stone. After a moment, he slowly opens the card. "It says, no matter what, your dreams live on through me, and I live on through them. As long as I continue to dream, you'll always be with me, and that's all I need. You've made my life special, in a way that only you could." Cloud's smile cracks with his voice, and he swallows the pain in his throat, "Zack... I love you." His voice drifts off, almost like it's taken by the wind, and one sharp inhale lets a tear fall from his eye. But he still smiles. Because Zack isn't there, but he's still there. Because Cloud can't wrap his arms around a stone and be embraced in return, but the ground here feels warmer than the rest. Because Zack would want him to smile.
He touches the side of the grave one last time, and sets the card down beside it. "Goodnight, Zack." he says, holding onto the pause that follows, and then he stands up and leaves. Leaves the stone behind with its card, and with a warm red scarf tucked in around it. And as Cloud fades from sight to live his life for himself and Zack, the wind tugs at the scarf, and Cloud feels warm again.