Here's a drabble about Renji, as he reflects on his feelings for Rukia. I thought the title was fitting for Renji – he could be swinging on a star (Rukia), so to speak, if he just told her how he feels about her. I hope you enjoy this tribute to one of my favorite pairings in anime/manga.
Rate T for language. I can't write as Renji and not swear.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters (If I did, Renji would have confessed already! XD)
I don't know what it is that she does to me. Maybe it's her way of understanding people. Or the way she pummels me when I tease her. Or those enormous eyes. I don't know. But whatever it is, it messes with my head and I can't function when she's around. Lucky for me, I'm good at pretending.
We've known each other since we were children and I've never been honest with her about this. Hell, I don't think I've been honest with myself half the time. Even now, I'm sitting next to her, trying to read something while she plays with Ukitake-Taicho's koi fish, and she has no idea how happy I am just being beside her. I watch her dip her tiny hand in the water, she's leaning over my knee and I can feel the warmth of her body. Does she have any idea what this does to me? Fuck!
If I wasn't so chickenshit I'd grab her and pull that tiny body into mine. I'd tell her everything, tell her how I feel about her, what she's meant to me my whole life. I'd kiss her... good God, I would kiss her. But I'll just end up sitting here, watching her feed fish while hoping someday she'll read my mind like I always do. Besides, she'd probably kick my ass if I tried to kiss her anyway.
She's just so... perfect. The way her black hair shines in the sun. How she can sit up so gracefully? Nobody fucking moves like that! I love how she turns her head so serenely, like a true noble. And that bang that sits perfectly between her sparkling eyes. She even looks lovely when she scowls...
"What are you gawking at, Renji?"
"Uh...er...I, uh... nothing."
Dammit! Just tell her, asshole! I really am a no good dog... Pathetic!
Ichigo would laugh at me if he could see how stupid I'm acting. Like he's one to mock me. Although, if that thick idiot can see what Rukia means to me, maybe there's hope that someday she'll see it too. Will she feel the same way? I sure as hell hope so. She's done feeding the koi now and is resting against the tree we've been sitting under, her shoulder leaning against mine. I put my scroll down and rest my head against the tree trunk, looking at the clouds in the sky and thanking the powers that be for this moment. She may not know I love her, but I'm ok with that for the time being. Right now she's next to me. I couldn't ask for more than that.