A/N: This is completely different to anything else I've ever written. I wouldn't even know what to categorise it in to be completely honest, but that's just me. It's just a short drabble of what could entail of Chuck and Blair's relationship if they had stayed together and gotten married some time later on in their lives. It's apparent in the story that they weren't possibly at the best stage to get married and were maybe a little too young to get themselves into such a commitment, but I'll let you read. Reviews mean the world to me. The characters of Chuck and Blair do not belong to me, nor do I own the magazines Vogue and Elle. I don't own the song "Cycling Trivialities" by Jose Gonzalez either, this is where I gathered my inspiration.
cycling trivialities
This is what they both were completely terrified of; falling into a pattern, a pace of motion where they weren't aware of the consequences which entailed them. This pattern had been apparent for some time now, flashing in and out of their frightened minds at different times. Sometimes in the morning, she would lie – on her side of the bed – and mindlessly think about the routine they'd fallen into. She'd look over, watching his buttoned-up-silk-covered chest rise and fall as the sunlight gently blazed through the curtains and just silently studied him; so sweet and innocent, it would have almost been impossible to comprehend if he hadn't have been laying there. She'd turn over, in the opposite direction of his numb body and stare at the wall, secretly contemplating the thought of life without him.
Sometimes in the late afternoon, she'd sit at the dining room table with a cup of steaming hot green tea and pretend to read the latest issue of Vogue or Elle when really she was staring through the pages, eyes glazed over in a content but perplexed way. He'd have promised to come home early to spend some much needed time with his wife; he'd walk in, kiss her head and leave straight to his office. She'd slowly lift her head and catch a glimpse of his office door closing. It was no different him being at the office, at home or in another country. They'd grown apart in time, like the continents of the world slowly breaking apart; no one knowing any difference. Maybe they'd rushed into things too soon. She'd sit, sipping the coffee and go over every little situation that could have made this heat-filled relationship so... lifeless. Was it her? Was it him? Had they ran dry? Not one word would be exchanged.
He'd seemed to take notice of the change in her, in himself and in their relationship, but hadn't had the time to give it his full and understanding attention. He was too busy creating plans for a new hotel, a club or – his latest discovery – a private school for children who were interested in the business industry. Since he didn't have an heir to his company, he had to have some hopeful children to take over his business, and what was better than choosing the perfect candidate out of twelve hundred budding students? This hurt Blair the most; although it wasn't retaliation from Chuck's side, he was desperate for a child and she was unable to give him one.
Sometimes, they wouldn't even see the arguments building up. It was like lightning; sometimes you see it, realise and wait for the thunder to cause its trouble but other times you don't get a warning, you're not looking for the cause but you receive the abrupt table-turning consequences that you deserved.
They needed to fix this but they didn't know how to, they'd never been in a situation like this before unless it counted when they were young and too naive to understand it all. In reality, they were still teenagers at heart. They didn't know how to comprehend everything. They needed to repair their selves before taking the step to help each other into the loving relationship they used to know. Every nip and every bite turned into blood, shedding tears of hate and lust of before they'd married. All they'd worked for in the past was gone, turned into something they'd never thought they would meet. It was all a dream, a fantasy of what they wanted, of what every couple wanted in a healthy relationship. The hardest thing was knowing what they needed and what they wanted for this to work. The only thing that they thought could bring them back together was a child and since the passing of that child and a batch of test results, their relationship had withered further into oblivion.
But they finally decided that it was time – time to get over some of the feelings they'd been keeping locked inside for a long time. They needed to release the angered energy they'd kept cooped up for the next hundred arguments. They needed to talk, to take time for themselves. They needed to forgive, forget and move on because the world was spinning without them, the worst thing they could do was get dizzy. The pattern they'd fallen into was something they'd gotten used to the past couple of years, something they couldn't imagine living without and it had become part of their lives as husband and wife. There were no needs for the games anymore; they didn't need to keep a hold of each other. The love was clearly apparent in their relationship and they needed to embrace it.
Everything that had happened was unimportant. They were anxious of falling into the cycle of trivialities, becoming inconsequential and frivolous to other people. It was a fear of both of theirs, so combined, it exploded. The cycle didn't end and it wouldn't. It was a sign of self consciousness, a normality of life itself.