Awfulness On April First

Chapter One: Mix It Up

Disclaimer: Lilo & Stitch is not mine, but I don't really regret that. You probably don't, either.

Author's Note #2: Experiment 379, otherwise known as Chlemyra (rhymes with "Elvira"), is mine.

Author's Note #3: Gigglyn and Christine are Mona's experiments. (Thank you for letting me use your experiments, Mona!) I just read about Gigglyn in an e-mail, and I thought: She would be perfect to write a fan fiction about. I then began to plan the following story in my head. Here it is.

Stitch bounded out of bed and leapt down to a wall calendar. He was excited to the point of near-hysterics. Today was March thirty-first. April Fool's Day was tomorrow.

Scratching an X on the square for March thirtieth, Stitch remembered what Lilo had told him about April Fool's Day.

"April Fool's Day is on April first. It's a day when you get to play tricks on people, and it's legal. Except that the tricks have to be pretty harmless, like putting salt in somebody's coffee. You aren't allowed to hurt people. I learned that the hard way."

That meant that Stitch had to destroy the nuclear weapons and similar items that he had saved for the occasion, but it was a small price to pay.

In Gantu's ship, Experiment 625 was also thinking about April Fool's Day.

"Hey, Gantu!" he yelled to said person while making a bologna-and-cheese sandwich. "Tomorrow is April first. You know what that means, don't ya?"

Gantu was assembling a mosaic. "Well, I've heard that—"

"Wrong!" 625 interjected, not allowing to Gantu to finish his sentence. "It means that you'd better watch out for any nasty surprises, 'cause April first is when people play pranks on each other."

"How is that different from any other day around here?"

"I'll do it more often on that day," 625 grinned.

The experiment container disrupted the conversation. "Experiment Four-Oh-One activated," the container said, projecting an image of 401. "Primary function: mischievous tormenting."

"Wow. Talk about your opportune plot devices," commented 625.

Far away from either of the aforementioned homes, there was an abandoned church. Well, it used to be an abandoned church. It had been reconstructed into something quite different.

This was where Experiment 379 did her work and play. Actually, it wasn't necessary to use a conjunction between these two words. For Experiment 379, work and play were one and the same.

Her activation was the stuff of urban legends. 379's green pod was accidentally placed on a plate of communion wafers. One Sunday morning, a worshipper had picked up the pod, dipped it in the wine goblet, and had found himself to be face-to-face with the most unusual creature he had ever seen. The torches and pitchforks didn't hurt 379 very much, so the horrified evangelists soon gave up. Ever since then, the church had been abandoned.

379 preferred it that way.

Her physiology was bizarre. She had ears and a nose like a cat's. Her legs, feet, and greenish-purple tail resembled those of a rooster. She had two red horns and curved yellow eyes, similar to what a demon might have. She sported two five-fingered arms with sharp claws. Her stomach fur was pale pink, and the rest of her fur was dark gray.

379's talent was making potions. She was created because Jumba had made several potions before, but he wanted to bestow that ability upon an experiment, which would give him time to invent other things.

It turned out to be a huge success. In fact, the other experiments often said that 379 was better at making potions than Jumba was. Jumba didn't appear to like hearing this statement, but he never denied it.

She turned the church into her laboratory. (It looked more like a dungeon, though.) This was 379's home, where she was free to create and test her potions. Alchemy was her life. She couldn't have been happier.

At that moment, 379 was working on a paralysis-inducing potion, and she noticed a red pod on the table beside her. She squirted it with a solvent, and Experiment 401 appeared.

401 was an interesting sight. Her very thin fur was white on her arms, face, and feet. On her chest, stomach, and legs, her fur was striped red and black, and was slightly thicker. Black patches circled her striking green eyes. Instead of ears, her head was adorned with a three-pointed, striped-red-and-black object that had silver bells on the ends. In short, she looked like a Harley Quinn jester, except for her black, three-toed, flipperlike feet, and her ratlike, light purple tail. She carried a green staff with a small, skull-shaped object at the top. She cackled hideously.

"I'm Experiment Four-Oh-One, and you'd better be careful! I'm a trickster!"

"I know," 379 said calmly. "I remember you. You were a joker and a sadist." Her lips curled into a wicked smile. "My number is Three-Seven-Nine, but don't call me that. I have made a name for myself, and that name is…Chlemyra."

401 blinked a few times. "Ohhh…I remember you, too. You mixed potions."

"I still do. This is my laboratory, where I live. You are going to live here, also—at least, for the time being. But you need a name." Chlemyra paused and tapped her finger on the side of her chin. "Well, you laugh when you play jokes on people. So your name is Gigglyn."

Gigglyn snickered in delight, clapping her hands once.

"I will assist you, Gigglyn," said Chlemyra. "My magical potions can make your pranks all the more cruel."

"Oh, how do they do that? Tell me!"

Chlemyra took out a suitcase and opened it. "These are twenty of my nastiest potions. I was saving them for special occasions, and I guess this is a special occasion."

Indeed. Fifteen seconds after that statement, Stitch came bursting in, capturing Gigglyn. Not a word was spoken.

Unfortunately, Stitch didn't see that Gigglyn had grabbed the suitcase.

How did you like that? I came up with Chlemyra on a whim, but I'll probably use her again.

NEXT TIME: Gigglyn is introduced to the Pelekais. She begins to wreak her havoc on the poor family. What will come out of it?

(Wouldn't you like to know…)