Rock-a-Bye-Baby

By Dan'yu

Vegeta was horny. That's right. The Prince of the Saiyans was in a very sad state of sex deprivation, and seriously needed to get laid. With the lovely and talented Bulma Briefs as his mate, this was not usually a hard situation to rectify, but with their brat wailing like a sire down the hall, his wife was unresponsive and frigid as an Antarctic tundra.

"Vegeta," she said, her voice deceptively soft, "Go take care of your son."

Deciding the woman was insane, he leveled his best death glare, the kind that had left lesser men in spasms for months afterward, in her direction. "Give me one reason why I should do such a ridiculous thing."

The reason she gave was very good incentive to drag himself down the hall to their son's room.

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In a huff, Vegeta slammed open the door, his eyes furiously scanning the room before locking on the object of his rage, his six-year-old son, who in his current state, would have been adorable with his lavender hair mussed against his forehead and his fire engine pajamas in disarray, but as we all know, the veggie-headed prince was immune to such things involving cuteness and cuddle-worthy Trunks.

"Brat! You're worse than your banshee of a mother! What could possibly be so wrong?"

Trunks blinked, his tears forgotten, as he stared wide-eyed at his irritated and possibly homicidal father. "I had a bad dream. The world was taken over by a little lizard man and a big pink blob that turned everybody into candy. I was scared."

Vegeta blinked as well, deciding the brat no longer got sugar before bed, and with that decision, grabbed the boy by the collar, tossed him onto the bed, scowling him into submission. "Enough nonsense! Because of you, I'm not getting any! So shut up and go to sleep, brat."

Needless to say, Trunks was inevitably scarred for life, Vegeta was a happy saiyan, and Bulma was happily clueless to her son's evident powers of premonition.

Years later, Vegeta supposed it was for the best, because if he had told her about the boy's dreams, they might not have had practice that night in making his daughter. Of course, there were minor setbacks, such as his turning evil and the destruction of the earth, but in the end, it turned out all right.

And Vegeta wisely kept quiet, knowing he would have been permanently couched otherwise.

Owari