He would leave her behind back when she was still just a girl.
"Sam! Why can't I go?! I want to!"
"C'mon, Leah, it's dangerous. I don't want you getting hurt."
"If cliff diving's so dangerous, then how come you're doing it?"
"Well… we're… boys. It's different."
"That's bullshit! You stupid, sexist—"
"Lee-lee! Please? It's just going to be the guys. I'll call you when I get home. We'll go see that movie?"
"Fine."
He showed up at her house later with wild flowers he'd picked on the way over, and all was forgiven.
He can't get rid of her that easily now. (She wishes he could more than he does.) She throws herself off the cliff again and again and again, hoping, maybe this time it'll hurt.
But it doesn't. The cuts and bruises are gone in minutes. Her fractured arm and leg are healed by the time she's dragged herself back to the top to do it again.
She wishes her heart mended as quickly as the rest of her. Maybe then life would be easy. Or maybe she wishes her body didn't heal so fast. Maybe she wishes she had scars she could see, instead of just feel.
She really isn't sure anymore.