"We could short sheet his bed," said Garth hesitantly.
"LAME!" pronounced Tyrone.
"There's this great chemical reaction, makes huge amounts of foam. We put one reagent in the toilet tank, another in the bowl, when he flushes it mixes the two and in about five seconds there's foam everywhere!" said Jenni with a gleam in her eye.
"No," said Clint quickly. "The custodians would have to clean it, and Missy just got back from maternity leave. She doesn't need to deal with an extra mess and she's the custodian on our hall."
"You take all the fun out of pranks," complained Erik, throwing an empty can into the trash. Clint shrugged, unconcerned, and stole a pepperoni off of Erik's plate while he wasn't looking. Otter threw an olive at him, but he just caught it in his mouth and grinned at her.
"Get him a subscription to some porno magazine?" suggested Mark. "Something really embarrassing?"
"I'm paying for porn, I'm readin' it," pronounced Clint. This wisdom was met with nods. "Really, guys? I come to you for help and that's all you've got?"
Mark sat up. "Tyrone, how many zip ties do we have?"
Tyrone frowned. "I dunno, a few bags, each one has a hundred."
Mark grinned maniacally. "So what you're saying is that we have a few hundred zip ties. Okay, here's the plan…"
Two days later, Rick Halpern stormed into his quarters after yet another annoying day with County Boy Barton and his stupid bow and arrow, only to stop short.
His dresser drawers were zip tied to each other. His closet doors were tied together. His bed was on its side and secured to some heavy duty hooks that had been newly installed in the wall. Each of his magazines had been neatly rolled and tied. His CD case was locked shut, and the CD player was wrapped in zip ties to prevent it from being opened.
The TV was on, and a Dukes of Hazzard episode was playing, loudly. His TV remote was attached to the ceiling. The blanket from his bed was wrapped around the controls for the TV and secured in place, so he couldn't shut it off. The VCR was tied so he couldn't eject the tape. The dresser was attached to the wall with some more newly installed hooks, so he couldn't move it to unplug the TV or the VCR.
His chair was attached to the desk. Both desk drawers were locked together. The mouse was attached to the chair leg, and the keyboard was zip tied to the back of the chair. The monitor was attached in the seat of the chair, a shirt protectively wrapped around it (and zip tied, of course).
Through the open bathroom door, he could see that his toothbrush and toothpaste had been attached to the installed metal holder. The shower curtain was secured to the rod. A plastic cup had been tied over the tub faucet, so that any water that came out would hit the cup and rebound up. The soap had been wrapped with two perpendicular zip ties, like a demented ribbon on a package, and those had been used to attach it to the soap dish. The towels were tied around the sink faucet and handles, rendering it useless. The floor mat was attached to the towel rod. The toilet lid was secured to the seat, which was locked around the bowl so it couldn't be opened.
And like a final, gift wrapped "Up Yours," hanging from a bright pink ribbon, in the middle of the room, were a pair of scissors. The handles had been zip tied together.