Obviously standard stuff applies; I don't own anything blah-di-blah. I like reviews - I haven't written anything in years so constructive criticism would be nice. I haven't got everything perfectly worked out for this story but I do have most of the second chapter worked out already so maybe this time I'll actually keep up a story. Lets see shall we? Enjoy.
Jesus Christ Almighty, when did just looking at her start to send shivers down my back? I could stare at her all day.
I think sometimes I do.
I catch myself sometimes, when I've looked for too long. I can feel my face heat up when she glances at me and I have to pretend I was just distracted, I have to pretend I'm not trying to map her every expression; keeping a log of every movement her muscles make. I know exactly what she looks like when she's angry, how her face hardens, how her eyes go cold and turn a shade greyer than before. God, her eyes, I stare at them most of all, and I still couldn't tell you what colour they are right now. That cold grey when she's angry, sparkling with greens and blues when she laughs, warm honey when she smiles that beautiful smile that makes me melt, I can't help but smile back when I see it. They turn into the darkest brown when she's puzzling over something though, I think thats my favourite. I remember the first few times we shared the greenhouse- she learnt so quickly how to work with the plants and flowers in there, and I can tell how much she cares for them. That quiet brown comes into her eyes when she works and I know it's safe to stare then- she wont notice when she's concentrating that much. I hope.
I don't know why I stare, I still don't fully understand my obsession. I know I love her, but I can tell myself that I love every member of this Coven, they're my family. I tell myself that I may even love my Mother. It doesn't feel right, to stare at her the way I do, like a foolish teenager with a crush. It's inappropriate. She deserves so much more than this. I don't know what it is she wants, but it's more than me. I've realised this, and it's okay- I know I'm not for her, and she's not for me, but it doesn't stop me watching her. It doesn't change the fact that in reality, I don't love all this Coven the way I used too, I don't honestly think of them as family, but I do think of her that way. I'd do anything to keep her safe and make her happy.
I don't know her history, I don't know how she grew up, what her parents were like. How can I make her happy if I don't know who she is? I probably don't need to make her happy, she's stronger than I could ever be and she doesn't need me trying to force a smile onto her face. I know she was burnt at the stake, I know she loves animals, and I know she is the kindest soul I have ever met. I know enough to love her from a distance, but never enough to be anything more than a friend, a mentor. As if I am capable of ever mentoring her. She's not like Zoe and the others. She knows her powers, she controls them readily, and she doesn't constantly think to gain more power because she is content rather than power hungry. She's happy in the swamps with the gators. Thats enough for her, and I think thats beautiful, to find peace so easily. I love her because she is not like the others, but it makes it so much harder for me to be around her. My Mother, and Madison, Marie, these are the people I understand, but happy emotionally-mature women who aren't out to hurt others for their own gain... That is beyond me.
Misty is unlike anyone I've ever known before.
If things were different, If Hank hadn't been...
If my Mother wasn't so...
If she didn't call me Miss Cordelia and if she didn't want me teach her new things about the plants she already cares for more tenderly than I ever could...
Maybe then I would be allowed these feelings, maybe then I could stop being Cordelia Goode or Cordelia Foxx and start being myself.
"Miss Cordelia? Could I, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be any trouble to you, I just" Misty trailed off, looking panicked at the thought of interrupting the older blonde "I'm sorry, are you busy? I ah, I just thought, it's gettin' on and I, I mean, no one's really seen you today so I thought I should maybe remind you to eat" She smiled sheepishly and raised the hand she was using to hold a brown paper bag of take out "Di'nt know what y'all ate so I got a bit of everything for you, thought maybe you might be trying to avoid your Mama so take out seemed the best option 'stead of getting something fixed in the kitchen with everyone else"
She stayed still, hovering in the doorway as Cordelia let her mind process the moment. Fixing a mental photograph; Misty Day, food in hand, a small, kind smile lingering on her lips. Tousled blonde hair falling down her shoulders, a pale blue shawl loosely wrapped around her, the floral pattern standing out against her long cream dress. She had to force herself to smile, and stand, reminding herself she couldn't just stare. You can't just sit around staring when your friends are talking to you, and Misty had fast become her best friend. Her only friend, really.
"Mist, thanks, you didn't have too, thats, really-" She smiled, thinking to herself that it really wasn't too bad having only one friend if that friend was Misty. "Thats probably one of the kindest things anyone's ever really done for me. Sorry, I didn't even notice I'd been sat around so long. Did you already eat with the others or will you come and keep me company for dinner?" She'd spent the whole second half of the day lying in bed reading, actual novels for a change instead of something to do with magic. Having the Supreme around caused enough drama that the girls in the school hadn't been having anything even resembling lessons for a while so her teacherly duties had been going ignored. Pushing the books that where strewn across her bed into a haphazard pile she sat again, moving across to make room for Misty to join her. The Cajuns smile grew as she moved forward into the room, holding the food out to the woman she'd grown to respect and care for. Probably the only witch she wasn't scared would someday try to kill her off or something.
"Aww shush, don't feel too special, it was the perfect excuse for me to get myself something good an' greasy for dinner" She gave Cordelia her trade mark easy grin "I got fries an' a burger for you too, and a bean burger and salad too, in case you'd rather have that, and there's chicken in there somewhere an' all" Cordelias stomach growled at the thought of food and she realised she hadn't bothered with food since breakfast. She groaned at the list Misty reeled off, opening the bag to reach for the fries at the top, grabbing a handful before passing them to the blonde next to her.
"jesus these are good, do you have any idea how long it's been since I ate real junk food? God Misty, you are an actual Angel I swear down" She rummaged through the rest of the bag, pulling out all the containers and laying them on the bed to share.
The younger blonde laughed at Cordelias reaction "I always knew it, but I'm glad someone else finally realised" a hint of sarcasm was in her tone but the smile never wavered "Just thought it was about time you got some food in you, can't have tha boss of tha house starving to death now can we?"
"I doubt any of the others would mind, the girls would be happy to not have their teacher on their case and my Mother probably wouldn't notice." She spoke the truth, but she wished it had come out with the same playful tone Misty used, she didn't like how sorry for herself she always sounded. She smiled again, and tried for a lighter tone "Not for a while at least. 'Sides, I'm pretty sure she's the boss of the house now, Supreme beats Headmistress right? And if starving myself leads to you bringing me food, I could probably be persuaded to hide out in my room more often"
Misty snorted with laughter and lent forwards to reach for one of the burgers "Don't get too used to it now Miss Cordelia, I might punish you for leaving me alone with the rest of them all day with a microwave meal or somethin' next time"
"Still worth it I think, and it's Delia, Misty, please. Miss Cordelia makes me feel old, and it's weird to call friends 'Miss'"She nudged Mistys hand out of the way to steal some fries now that her own box was emptied "I'm only a few years old than you, 'Miss' makes me feel like, I don't know, like I'm the next door neighbor who's all age-ed and bakes cakes and shouts at you when you make too much noise" her face scrunched up at the thought.
"Okay, Delia, seeing as we are official friends, I guess I can stop with the Miss. Only if you promise you wont leave me alone with them all day again though. You know Fiona don't want us wandering around getting killed or nothing so all day I had Madison and Zoe arguin' about who Kyle likes more and Queenie glaring all day tellin' me how I aint gonna be supreme cause she is sooo much stronger than me. Like I'd even wan'a be in charge o' them?"
Cordelia had to laugh at what sounded like an oh-so-average day at Miss Robichaux's Academy "You could be though, you're probably the strongest candidate, you have so much power in you" Cordelia smiled softly as she spoke, she meant every word. She was astounded by how Misty truly didn't see her own strength, how could she not know what an amazing witch she was? They were both quiet for a while as Misty seemed to think on Cordelias words. They sat in silence, enjoying the company and food until Misty spoke up again.
"I don't want that, I like me as I am"
Me too, Cordelia thought to herself. She didn't dare say it outloud, she knew she couldn't say it without Misty knowing everything. She'd see how Cordelia stared at her, and she'd hear the quiet 'me too' and she'd know, and then she might leave. Instead, she smiled again, "It wouldn't change who you are, and for all I know maybe you aren't meant to be our next supreme, but if you are, I have no doubt that you'd be an amazing one. It might not hurt that you already hate half the coven, hell knows it'd be nice to have a supreme who wants everyone to behave better- Fiona doesn't care if they kill each other over a boy, and if she were more business minded she'd have started a pay-per-view channel for all the in-fighting in this Coven. You and Queenie'd make her rich, you'd kick her ass"
"Hell yeah!" Misty laughed, and Cordelia got to stare for another second, trying to catch the glints of colour that lit up her eyes when she laughed. "I don't outright hate them, but they're not my tribe. I thought Zoe was, and I know you are, but... This isn't my family, I'm not here for them y'know?" She shook her head as if clearing it, before taking another bite of her food. Cordelia nodded, trying not to react to the warm feeling filling every inch of her insides at the thought of Misty calling her 'her tribe'. "I mean," Misty spoke around her mouthful, swallowing before continuing "like, I don't want to be supreme here, but I don't think I could be really, 'cause there gotta be more to being in a 'coven' than just having magic, right? Otherwise whats the difference between us the the voodoo queens downtown? I mean, why aint we all one huge all-together coven? Magics magic, don't matter where ya get it from does it? There musta been other witches than just the ones at Salem, and how'd ya know where y'all are from that far back? I don't even know ma grand folks" They both where quiet for a moment, leaving Cordelia to think on Misty's questions while Misty pulled another take out container towards them both.
"Honestly, Misty, I don't know." Cordelia tried to sound so smart and headmistressy all the time, it was difficult for her to admit that the history of her coven, her family, was patchy at best. "I suppose yes, there are going to be witches out there who aren't from Salem, it would be foolish for me to believe magic started there. The legends say that our magic came from the slaves there, and it has always been assumed that it originated in Africa. Our Coven has historically been racist, to be honest with you, so I have no doubt that there are gaps in our history which where filled with lies in order to hide that part. The Voodoo witches downtown will tell you we stole our magic, and I hope it's not true, but I know it's entirely possible." She sighed, wishing she had better answers "There are no other Covens in America that we know of, in times of old we would travel far and wide to find our sister witches and bring them home, to Salem, I suppose, and then here to New Orleans. I think, given that you grew up here your whole life, the likeliest scenario is that you are one of us, a descendant from the Salem witches. It doesn't mean you have to stay with us though if you do not wish it. That's your choice Misty." Cordelia remembered her own wishes to leave and find another Coven when she was younger, always trying to escape her Mother as much as she could. She'd wondered about other witches, surely they were out there? But there were no books written about such things, and she had no way of ever knowing for certain where to look. She'd considered herself lucky to have a decent home, and Myrtle looking after her. She hadn't ever been brave enough to throw that away and hunt down something, or someone, new the way she imagined Misty might one day.
"I'm not leaving just yet Miss Cord- I mean, I'm not leaving just yet Delia" Misty gave a lopsided smile as she spoke, obviously making an effort to hold to her earlier promise of using Cordelias nickname. She had finished her burger a while ago, and now moved to start tidying the remnants of their food up.
"Good" Cordelia replied, nodding to herself and standing to help the younger witch tidy. She didn't add that she was overjoyed at the news, because the thought of Misty choosing to leave made her heart break a little. She didn't add that she understood that Misty didn't need this Coven, but that her Coven desperately needed Misty.
"I best be getting on now though, you'll come out of your room tomorrow though?" Misty looked up, a playful smile on her lips, and a hopeful shine to her eyes.
"I promised you didn't I?" Cordelia replied, throwing the last of the rubbish and the uneaten salad back into the bag. Misty reached over and took it from her hands.
"Okay, well, I'll throw this out on the way to bed, g'night, Delia. I'll see you in the morning" She waved slightly as she turned and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her and Cordelia was left looking at the door she'd left through.
"Good night Misty" she whispered to herself, before she took to her bed again to sleep, dreaming of easy smiles and ever changing eyes.
Please go easy on me- This is the first thing I've written in god-knows-how-many-years, and I don't have a Beta so if there are mistakes anywhere please do let me know and I'll sort it. Thanks for reading.