Pain

By Bara-chan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Tenchi other than a couple of tapes and a Ryoko key-chain.

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I was silent. I knew that the others were worried about me. But they wouldn't understand. How could they know how it feels to know that the person you secretly care about died because of you? Even if they could know what I was feeling, I know that they would ask so many questions that I would not be able to answer. They would want to know why I didn't tell them or why didn't I do something sooner. That last question would kill me. I know that now. It's been asked before and I've brushed it off but I can't do that now. I know what he feels like now, I know that I'm just like him in ways and that he's just like me in other ways.

Akeru… my brother. The person who has been trying to kill me since I was old enough to hold a sword. I know he loved me when we were children and I know what changed him. I wish I knew before we started fighting.

I have a secret. Ryoko doesn't know nor does anyone else other than my family. They have the same secret. My friends don't even know I have a family. They really are naïve. They think that because I say that I'm an orphan means that I have no brothers or sisters. I have an older brother and a younger sister. My brother and sister share my secret, they are just like me. We are dolls. Living dolls. An experiment that our 'parents' were doing. I know that they were creating dolls. Beings that have no spirit, no free will, but are technically living. Were we mistakes? Or did our creators intend to make us with souls? I'll never know.

I love my brother. I've always loved him, I guess. When I was eight, our creators tampered with him. Within an hour, the only person in the world that I could talk to without feeling like a freak wanted to kill me and my sister. I still loved him after that. I thought I hated him but I found out the other day that I didn't. The day I killed him.

Everyone was in town when he came. He had been chasing my sister, who had decided to come to me for help. I tried to help him. I really did. I tried to use one of my machines to reverse what our 'parents' did to him, but he fought it. The machine couldn't take the resistance and short circuited. I tried to stop it, but it shut down and took my brother with it. Now he is like every other doll our creators made: dead.

After this happened, I basically shut down. The soul that my creator put in me was defective. It had come with very few emotions. I had learned a few on my own, but the amount of pain that I had to deal with was too much. It was like when my husband left me. I vaguely remember my sister bringing me and my brother into the lab. She left me in the medical and brought our brother somewhere. Later she would tell me that she buried him in my garden.

I managed to bring my emotions down to a safe level before everyone came home. I can't talk though. Something much have been damaged when my body shut down.

I'm so grateful my sister was there that day. After taking care of me and burying Akeru, she went and got my husband. Yes, I have a husband. I never told the others about him. Nor did I tell them that he is Ryoko's father. I have enough trouble getting her to consider me her mother. He and my sister have been taking care of me since Akeru died. Today is the first day I've been out. I wish I could make up an excuse or something, maybe something about a failed experiment, but I can't.

I guess I'll just have to try to get over my guilt and accept his death. I think it my be the only way I'm going to regain my voice.

The End

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Author's Notes: I know I took WAY too many liberties with Washu's character, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.