ONNA=ONI
Tori: Welcome to my humble abode…
Kegawa: Mi casa su casa!
Readers: *take a good look at the apartment, spotless except for Tori's computer area*
Tori & Ke: *sweatdrop as readers walk away mumbling about upkeep and authoresses*
Ke: Anyway…
Wu Fei: Silence, animal!
Ke: …who invited the misogynist?
Tori: *studies ceiling*
Ke: Ah, today's "Infatuated with Fei Day" right?
Tori: There's one for every day of the week!
Ke: Except for Saturdays where you glomp the first pilot you-
Tori: *steps on Ke's furry little head*
Wu Fei: Achem. I believe this onna writer promised me a fic without the other pilots?
Tori: Hai.
Wu Fei: *blushes* …can you make an exception? *cough*
Tori: *smirk* …anything for Fei-fei… Today's his special day… What is it?
Wu Fei: Can you get Duet?
Tori: *facefault*
Wu Fei: *pulls stick out of floofy-pants hammerspace and pokes Tori*
Duet: *appears asleep on the couch*
Wu Fei: *decides the authoress isn't that important and pokes Duet until she wakes up*
Duet: Nnn… Milliardo…
Wu Fei, Tori, and Ke: O.o
Duet: …these are real handcuffs… what are you doing…?
Wu Fei, Tori, and Ke: O.O*
Duet: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Wu Fei: *shakes Duet awake*
Duet: *clings to him, panting and wide-eyed*
Ke: *looks up at Tori* …isn't going the way you planned it, ne?
Tori: *shakes head* …it never does…
Duet: *relating dream to Wu Fei* Oh, it was horrible! I was so afraid…
Tori: *snaps fingers and everyone looks up*
Wu Fei: Oh. Yeah… Okay, I'm ready. *pulls on lab coat, glasses, and wheels out a chalk board*
Tori, Duet, and Ke: *sit in desks, which just, um, magically appeared in my office*
Wu Fei: Now, for my fic, I would like to discuss a certain topic: Onna.
Tori and Duet: *sweatdrop*
Wu Fei: In my studies, I have come across another word with many similarities.
Ke: Uh-oh…
Wu Fei: …and that word is oni. [demon or monster; sometimes a three-eyed ogre]
Tori and Duet: *fall out of seats*
Wu Fei: *scribbles on board* Not only do the words sound vaguely alike, but they can also be synonyms! Both are volatile, cruel, pathetic, unjust, disgusting-
Tori and Duet: *tackle Wu Fei*
**five minutes later**
Wu Fei: *tied to chair and gagged*
Duet: *in lab coat* Now, the word otoko not only sounds like otaku, but also ousutoraria!
Tori: *with glasses and chalk* Australia? That's a stretch…
Duet: *nods*
Tori: But while Fei means the action 'fly' in Chinese, hae is the dirty, ugly little insect!
Wu Fei: Mmmph!
Tori: That eats garbage and dog poo!
Wu Fei: Hmmph!
Duet: *whips out haetataki* Taste my Fly Swatter of Doom! *hits Wu Fei with it*
Wu Fei: Mmmph!
Duet: *hits him again, and again, and again*
Ke: Okay, she's having too much fun…
Tori: Welcome to my humble abode…
Kegawa: Mi casa su casa!
Readers: *take a good look at the apartment, spotless except for Tori's computer area*
Tori & Ke: *sweatdrop as readers walk away mumbling about upkeep and authoresses*
Ke: Anyway…
Wu Fei: Silence, animal!
Ke: …who invited the misogynist?
Tori: *studies ceiling*
Ke: Ah, today's "Infatuated with Fei Day" right?
Tori: There's one for every day of the week!
Ke: Except for Saturdays where you glomp the first pilot you-
Tori: *steps on Ke's furry little head*
Wu Fei: Achem. I believe this onna writer promised me a fic without the other pilots?
Tori: Hai.
Wu Fei: *blushes* …can you make an exception? *cough*
Tori: *smirk* …anything for Fei-fei… Today's his special day… What is it?
Wu Fei: Can you get Duet?
Tori: *facefault*
Wu Fei: *pulls stick out of floofy-pants hammerspace and pokes Tori*
Duet: *appears asleep on the couch*
Wu Fei: *decides the authoress isn't that important and pokes Duet until she wakes up*
Duet: Nnn… Milliardo…
Wu Fei, Tori, and Ke: O.o
Duet: …these are real handcuffs… what are you doing…?
Wu Fei, Tori, and Ke: O.O*
Duet: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Wu Fei: *shakes Duet awake*
Duet: *clings to him, panting and wide-eyed*
Ke: *looks up at Tori* …isn't going the way you planned it, ne?
Tori: *shakes head* …it never does…
Duet: *relating dream to Wu Fei* Oh, it was horrible! I was so afraid…
Tori: *snaps fingers and everyone looks up*
Wu Fei: Oh. Yeah… Okay, I'm ready. *pulls on lab coat, glasses, and wheels out a chalk board*
Tori, Duet, and Ke: *sit in desks, which just, um, magically appeared in my office*
Wu Fei: Now, for my fic, I would like to discuss a certain topic: Onna.
Tori and Duet: *sweatdrop*
Wu Fei: In my studies, I have come across another word with many similarities.
Ke: Uh-oh…
Wu Fei: …and that word is oni. [demon or monster; sometimes a three-eyed ogre]
Tori and Duet: *fall out of seats*
Wu Fei: *scribbles on board* Not only do the words sound vaguely alike, but they can also be synonyms! Both are volatile, cruel, pathetic, unjust, disgusting-
Tori and Duet: *tackle Wu Fei*
**five minutes later**
Wu Fei: *tied to chair and gagged*
Duet: *in lab coat* Now, the word otoko not only sounds like otaku, but also ousutoraria!
Tori: *with glasses and chalk* Australia? That's a stretch…
Duet: *nods*
Tori: But while Fei means the action 'fly' in Chinese, hae is the dirty, ugly little insect!
Wu Fei: Mmmph!
Tori: That eats garbage and dog poo!
Wu Fei: Hmmph!
Duet: *whips out haetataki* Taste my Fly Swatter of Doom! *hits Wu Fei with it*
Wu Fei: Mmmph!
Duet: *hits him again, and again, and again*
Ke: Okay, she's having too much fun…