I decided to write this new Homestuck fanfiction because I felt that there is more to write for homestuck because of the easy flexibility. I am able to write this story as the summer holidays are coming up and I will NOT have to revise during all of it so I can actually write. So on with the show and see what will happen.
*You see a bedroom with the windows the windows covered in white from the outside and you see a young man(most likely a teenager),with light Brown hair, wearing a dark blue unbuttoned trench coat(most likely to let it flow in the wind) with a red t-shirt with a black gear on it underneath it, heavy jeans and big boots with these items mostly covering his body he has snow goggles on to both protect and hide his eyes and gloves for the same reasons,,standing in the center and it looks like he is looking at you despite the fact you are not physically there but you disregard that with a "whatever" and continue reading the story*
Today the 15th August is NOT this young man's birthday no his was the 21st June totally not today, that was almost two months ago, today is not even that important but in 7 days counting today it will be his "Friend's"/ leader of this team of theirs birthday and he needs to finish his presents, send them and get ready for that new game coming out on the same day called "SBURB" how do you even pronounce that, it must be suburb must be some internal joke or pun or whatever by the madman who made it.
.=== Name this Kid
You decided to name him, Horr...
Oh he cut the cursor in half ,with hey where did his weapon go oh nevermind, and damaged your computer, good job idiot, whatever you were planing on calling him, probably something offensive to him would of not worked as he was already chosen his final choice for his name on his 13th birthday and it is now forever written on Honorary Placronym(He too has no idea where this name came from) meaning it can never be changed NEVER.
You decide to look around for his Placronym to find out his name and find a clue to his age and what the hell this story will be about.
You find the Placronym on a worktable near the heavily damaged fourth wall of this room, it says Dimitri Dezhnyov and at the back of the table you see 4 letters all wishing Dimitri a "Super happy birthday our good and lovely friend" you see him gag when he looks at these letters, you then see a 5th letter that is covered in both nice and hateful language and is wishing him "A happy 16th wriggling day you ass" and you assume this means 16th birthday,hmm he looks kinda short for that age and he is once again glaring at you, stop breaking the 4th and 5th walls, and start to think why it calls it wriggling day you start to think of other weird words on the letter before...
Being interrupted by Teh Awesomeness of (EMPRAH)Dimitri monologuing.
Your name is Dimitri and you are currently in your room and the reason you can't see out of the windows is because of all the SNOW, really what do you expect living in ALASKA but you are used to it having lived here all your life and being part RUSSIAN(really the name gives it away you can just hear the COD players hating on me). Your house is all alone just beside a road that leads to the highway (breath) that leads to ANCHORAGE you used to have to hitchhike to get there to buy anything not can not wait to be delivered but as of late a car would just slow you down. Your room is covered with your interests, to one side is your TV and GAMES consoles with right beside them your MOVIES, you believe you have a good taste and judging by the reviews you have seen you have good taste you have them organized from your favorite to the worst with the top ones being comedies such as Saw and Postal (your "friends" say they are horror movies not comedies but really have they seen that torture they have no idea what good torture is, really that place you go to when you dream has far better torture). On another side you have your BOOKS with subjects such as war, the military, war/military strategy, weapons, history and war and weapon history and pretty much any thing based on conflict you like these subjects so much your PESTERCHUM HANDLE is based on them. On the last side not token up by your bed and opposite the door is the glorious COMPUTER, LAPTOP and WORKTABLE side(It is so beautiful it might bring a tear to your eye if you did that sort of thing) you use your computer to make the PROGRAMS that you sell to make money(really if they knew a teenager make some of the best programs there are oh that would be hilarious), though that money is just to buy luxuries since you were the HIER to your grandpa wealth that he made over the years and that will last a long TIME ,and for your games, you use the laptop for you and your friends heavily modified pesterchum and to soon play this SBURB on it as you were told my the know it all in your team that you have to move around alot and your work table is for all the MODIFYING of your WEAPONS(thank sweet mercy that grandpa was part of the state troopers or else you would not have all these weapons) and sometimes your teammates ones because really the guy who knows all about weapons and FIGHTING, knows how to WEAPONIZE FETCH/SEARCH MODI and all the tricks to STRIFE SPECIBI(thanks grandpa for all the lessons) on how to change your specibi to a more flexible version(you don't use that but some of your "friends"do especially the Detroit Limey), compression of a specibi into a specialized kind to make your ability to use it improve faster(you use this and combine it with the next one to exploit for the lols) or your ability to use 1 weapon from your non-mains (2xBLADE and (SNIPER)RIFLEKIND) you can use all conventional weapons and some non (why are umbrellas' weapons.) Also along the table are some of the MECHANICAL LIMBS that your robotic engineering friend sent you to program to interact properly with a humanoid body in case of a loss of any of limbs within the team(sounds grim but it happened before). And(oh if your English friend knew about this bad grammar here oh boy) lastly on some parts of the table and around the room are your projects on CLOTHES since you modify all your clothes to be trench coats and to make your teams light and yet armored clothes, oh you want to make fun of me for working on clothes *points at his weapons* try me you son o...
.===
Oh he broke your computer pretty badly and will now rarely work, you are such an idiot (Insert name here), but since I can read your mind I can do it for you, you were going to say "Make this kid do something, he is talking too much" ok then he does that alot, this monologue would have gone on for 1000 more words other wise, really as you will be told later thousands of times do not get him started, especially on weapons.
Oh you are doing that thing again were you monologue for quite sometime and talk in a way that makes you think someone else is with just remembered that you were supposed to get all that stuff you left in your kitchen in order for you to give your report to your leader, better go down there now.
You add your weapons to your strife specibi because you expect a fight before you can complete this mission.
You open the door and look around the this floor, one of two, there is your room, your grandpa's room, the bathroom and the old storage room... these are not important now and you rush down the stairs to the kitchen table to pick up your reports.
These notes contain all the info that you and the know it all Englishman collected from your dream planets, him from the horrible Prospit and you from the amazing Derse and you two are the only ones that can "wake" there the rest never get up there, they also contain all the conventions about the planets and this game SBURB, which your teammates believe are connected with no proof but still got to trust them, you collected,from a weird but trustworthy source, that are normally common within these "sessions" and you laugh at how many you guys have already broken such as how Prospit dreamers make their beds and Derse don't, you make your bed and one of the Prospit dreamers does not and another one is well an obvious one they are all the same species(lol). You get ready to go back up to your room when
A massive bear appears and by that you mean he walked in. Oh it's just your pet Kodiak Bear Kennedy or Ken for short. He has been your guardian since your grandpa died 6 years ago to that ""Green bear" or a first guardian as cue ball head says.
He seems to want to have a strife, well you can't resist either and you start playing My united states of whatever song for the battle because you need to make a reference and that guy that does not exist kept saying whatever.
*Strife begin*
As that familiar opening starts and the reader is expecting an epic fight between man and bear the music ends with Dimitri on the other side of the room and Ken has wounds along his arms, Dimitri is happy that he decided to teach himself the flash step really who knew that going at the speed of light was so useful (EVERYONE), cause it turned these practice fights into quick one hit wonder fights as the battle is until one of them can't use their arms anymore. As Ken leaves he lightly hits Dimitri and he flys across the room and hits the sink. Woh he really is fragile glass cannon speedster he can deal some of best hits in the team and at very fast speeds but he can take the least(weird since he exercises and for two of the other 5 use magic and weak weapons and are not meant to be hit yet they can take it better.)
He goes up to his room in a FLASH(both a reference and a pun sweet Joke x2 combo)
When he gets to his room he sees his pesterchum is flashing, he knows what this means, mister I am better than all of you cause I am an alien from an advanced species despite the fact I barely out tech you and I am the only member on this planet, is trying to contact him for the report. He takes off the snow goggles and gloves(better not talk about that with him he is angry enough already) so he can see the text and write better, as he looks at the lime coloured text calling to him he looks at his hands and at the colour of his own text and remembers how this "troll" hemotypes(types in his blood colour)and how the other 4 eye colour type while he looks as the black coloured text with the right side oulined in dark blue and the left with human blood red(how did I even program that to be typed oh yes if the number of this sentence is odd then make dark blue if even then red.) yeah eyes can't be that colour yeah I am totally not mutated hahahaha, well need to focus to handle his typing quirk and remembering to type his own.
deathVagrant [DV] began trolling hannibalBellum[HB]
DV:DImItrI when yOU get back tO yOUr cOmpUter please gIve me yOUr repOrt my dear sweet HOrrIble asshOle.
HB:Oh my stop with the love(AHHHH) and HATE hitting on me really as I told you a thousand times I AM A AROMANTIC ASEXUAL, you limey mclime who lives in a city of CRIME. Also I feel like I was almost called that earlier today. (Deja Vu, Raiden get in there) also you still have an IOU thing?
DV:I knOw and I stIll fInd fInd the Idea Of sUch a thIng stUpId, stOp dOIng that thIng where yOU descrIbe us In a stUpId way, the chances Of that happenIng are sO lOw that yOU are the One wIth the mOst chance for It tO happen tO, well can yOU stOp wIth the cOnsant Use Of all caps vIOlent words and references tO thIngs nOw stOp delayIng and get On with the repOrt.
HB:Ahh ok MOM(also get on with it, yeah get on with it) Prospit is horrible and I will skip it and Derse is an amazing perfect place with great agents.
DV:... DO It In the way I tOld yOU tO and stOp sayIng Derse Is nIce yOU vIOlent pyschOpath.
HB:... Al-grey said that prospit is still preparing for the WAR with derse and providing support for us and that they will protect him, you and Aus-Sum. Derse is also doing that and the agents who will thus forth be refered to as the midnight crew are still helping me plan for the queen's ASSASSINATION and still refuse to tell me in a straight forward way what is their greatest FEAR is and I am preparing for my,Sam-D and Ub-Co's safety , and I am preparing for the logical impossibility of double-sleep for the next 7 days in order to talk to another old player or better yet cue ball head in one of those bubbles for more information.
DV: StIll tOO lOng and why the hell dId yOU refer tO OUr teamates UsIng shOrtened versIOns Of theIr names Oh nevermInd yOU have yOUr reasOns, gOOd and gOOD, I know bUt yOU are the Only One Of yOU twO that can dO it and yes the nOt sO gOOd dead evIl dOctOr Is better and fInally dId you start playIng that very Old Earth sOng.
HB:... No (I HATE a moral coward, one who lacks a manly spark)
DV:grrrrr dO yOU have any addItIOnal InfOrmatIOn.
HB:Yes would you like me to start our glorious psychic alien leader who can hit me from anywhere by using his powers to modify the path of the bullets.(I just DETEST a man afraid to go home in the dark)
DV:YES NOW PLEASE.
HB: Yes sir dvd.(I always spend my evenings where there's women,wine and song(no I don't))
DV:GRR I HATE YOU SO MUCH IN THAT WAY YOU UGLY BEAUTIFUL SON OF A DEROGATORY WORD FOR A FEMALE HUMAN BASED ON THE NAME FOR A FEMALE DOG.
HB: WHAT THE HELL,well ok then time to give my extra report.(but like a man,I always bring my little wife along(no I don't))
HB:The giant space god alien squids (DAMN that makes no sense even in context) have told me 2 other titles and 3 other aspects beside the one they always call me THE HEIR OF TIME.(I'm a member of the midnight crew(they said they would consider it))
DV: GOOd, yOU knOw whO they are assIgned tO?
HB: No, but they are Knight an OFFENSIVE class where you use your aspect to deal DAMAGE(hit the weak point for massive DAMAGE).(I'm a night owl, and a wise bird too)
HB: And Seer a passive class where you can see things based around your aspect.(Home with the milk in the morning)
HB: and the aspects are Light based around luck.(Singing the same old song!)
HB: Rage what it says on the tin high physical damage no matter the class.(Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun)
HB: and heart based around the soul(dun dun dun.)(Early to bed, and you'll miss all the fun)
DV:COUld Of dOne wIth OUt the explanatIOn but gO On tell me abOUt your One to pass the tIme, thOUgh you type all yOUr sentences In a secOnd because Of that traInIng.
HB: YESSSS. Heir is a class with both passive and ACTIVE parts it means you are protected by you aspect in both ways one where it does it for you and one you lean to use.(Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you(yes it will))
HB:While time is so obvious there is no need for explanation(I got this info from red sweater who talks a bit too much and cue ball head.)(Make her a member of the midnight crew)
DV: I knew that nOw dO yOUr jOb.
HB:Yes sir I will get(Back to work) and get my sleep schedule ruined again.(The fun it doesn't stop 'til 12 on happy old broadway(I wish))
hannibalBellum[HB] ceased leering at deathVagrant [DV]
DV:I hate yOU.
You take your sleeping pills to keep your real self asleep and wake up on Derse. You check up on the agents and after you see Jack hate snogging the queen(why does he want to kill her if she is his kismesis or whatever) you go to sleep AGAIN and end up in a dream bubble.
You see a huge area of the bubble is taken up by some rainbows and a bunch of people some flying, looking at it causes you to have a headache and you focus on your memory of dead doc scrach(he says he looks the same as before he died as he has no eyes to turn white) to go there instead and you think what happened there with the rainbows, WILL NEVER AFFECT YOU LATER AT ALL NO EFFECT AT ALL.
*End of chapter one*
So the first 6 chapters each take up one day for each of the characters introduction and these chapters will be based of each characters personality this effects the length of the chapter, their monologue and other things such as the writing style of the chapter(Try to guess the personalities).
Next will be the leader of this team(oh look the leader is NOT the first one introduced, another convention this team is breaking that is not needed for the game to function properly.)