Hey, hey, hey! You people may not know me because I live in the GrimmIchi fandom. o.o But, uh, recently I've been getting really into One Piece, and I noticed that Zoro and Sanji is most likely the most popular pairing! I can see why. They're very interesting together. Anywho~! Usually I choose a Seme and a Uke and stick to that. But I think both of them as top and bottom is much more interesting. I mean, they're both bad-ass, hot tempered, passionate about their abilities, no nonsense individuals! I also quite like the idea of a love triangle between them and Luffy, except with Luffy as the bottom because I just don't see him as a top! Plus, he's rubber; he can take it!

I shall stop rambling now. o-o

This was just, um, random. o.o And it's my first attempt at their personalities. I hope I didn't do too bad. It's gonna be OOC. Sanji definitely isn't gay, so...

Warnings: Smut. PWP. SanZoSan in that order.

Pairing: Zoro and Sanji (Look up).

Summary: (There isn't really a plot, but, oh well). The crew got back from their fight against a group of marines and are ready to eat. Sanji prepared them food and as he was cleaning the dishes, Zoro came down for a spot of water in nothing but his boxers. Sanji gets turned on thanks to his raging hormones, and Zoro proposes something that will benefit them both.

FINAL WARNING: OOC. Zoro is very blunt in this. I imagine him to be a no-nonsense person, anyway! Also, I'M SORRY IF YOU HATE THIS. *runs and hides*

You Scratch My Back And I'll Scratch Yours

It had been a long day and all the crew just wanted to get some rest. Sanji, however, had to cook dinner for the rest of them because it was his duty as the cook. He didn't mind cooking for them, either.

Luffy grinned broadly, hands over the back of his shoulders. "What are you gonna make for us, Sanji? I want meat!" The captain said childishly, licking his lips at the thought of food.

Sanji gave him the finger. "You'll eat what I cook – and you won't waste a drop, got it?" A menacing gleam appeared in the cook's eyes. Luffy nodded in agreement, taking a seat at the deck while he waited. Ussop groaned, tired from their most recent fight with a group of marines.

"If I hadn't hit that last guy with my awesome shurrikens, you all would be dead by now! HA! Me, the great Ussop saved your lives! Bow down to you-" his gloating was silenced by the hilt of Zoro's white, with golden carvings sword. His nose bled and he fell to his knees on the floor. "Zoro, you jerk! You didn't have to hit me!"

"Quit your whining. I'm tired. I don't want to hear this crap, okay?" The green haired man announced and sat with his back against the wood, arms behind his head, ready to sleep. Nami shook her head.

"Oh, no you don't! You've got to work on your sword fighting! You were useless in that battle!" She admonished, glaring colourfully.

Zoro narrowed his eyes, "I was only useless because that idiot decided it was a great idea to shoot oil all over my swords! So, excuse me if they just slipped through everyone!" His eyes bored holes in Ussop's left cheek, the smaller man cowering in fear, tears trailing down his face as he begged for forgiveness. Scoffing, the swordsman closed his eyes and slept.

"You lazy-ass swordsman!" Nami exclaimed, exhausted with the actions of all these idiots. Sanji was an acceptation in this case because he did his job and did it well. Also, it wasn't bad that he was head-over-hills in love with her, which meant she got the best food of the lot.

The cook listened to their bickering as he prepared their food, glad that he had found a place on the Going Merry, glad that he had joined the Straw Hat Pirates. One day he was going to find The All Blue, and then he would go back to that restaurant and show his old cooking partners what The All Blue had to offer. They would finally see that his dreams and ambitions weren't just for nothing. They had purpose.

A few hours later, Sanji had finished preparing the food and called everyone to the table. "Here you go, my gorgeous Nami! Smoked Salmon, Octopus and Prime rib all for you! It amazes me how you can eat this much and still keep that spectacular figure, my love!" Nami rolled her eyes. She felt a little sorry that she had been stringing him along all this time, but the benefits were just too much to end it now.

"Thank you, Sanji," she replied huskily, rubbing the tip of his chin with her finger while smiling seductively, "Make sure next time you stock up that you get my favourite, won't you?"

Sanji's face exploded in red, love hearts taking over his eyes, the cigarette between his lips sizzling from the intake of breath. "OH, NAMI! YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL! I'LL MAKE SURE TO GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED, MY SWEET!"

"Good boy." As she started to dig into her food, Sanji's expression dropped while he handed out the rest of the meals to the other crew members.

"Here you go; enjoy your food. Waste a single crumb, and I will kill you!" The plates were dropped in front of hungry faces; the three of them not wasting a moment before they dove right in.

Not long after everyone had finished, Sanji was cleaning the dishes when Zoro strolled into the kitchen with nothing but a pair of boxers on, rubbing the back of his head and yawning. "You still cleaning the dishes, Sanji?" He asked – not really interested, but just to be polite. Sort of a way to say thank him for the meal.

"Yeah. Why the fuck are you half naked! NAMI COULD WALK IN HERE ANY SECOND NOW!" Zoro ignored the anger-lines on Sanji's face and stepped past to get a drink of water from the tap. "What are you doing? I don't want your filthy lips on the tap!" Again, Zoro completely ignored him. Sanji became uncomfortable at the close proximity. Zoro's butt was almost touching the crotch of his black, suit pants.

It had been a long time since Sanji had gotten any action. He never really got any while he was a chef at the restaurant; only a few one-night-stands, here and there. Plus, he was nineteen – the age where all guys had raging hormones. Zoro was nineteen, too. But he seemed to have a heck of a lot more control when it came to women.

Nevertheless, the fact remained that Sanji hadn't had sex in a large amount of time. This... Shouldn't, however, bring images of him pounding the swordsman into the floor to the forefront of his mind. And it definitely shouldn't cause a stir in his pants.

"What's the matter with you?" Zoro questioned, finished drinking from the tap and now wiping his mouth. Sanji couldn't believe he'd never realised how ripped Zoro was. He, himself was as well, but he never took his shirt off. The swordsman must have no shame to walk around in nothing but a colourful pair of boxers that hung low on his hips.

"Nothing. Get out of my kitchen," Sanji demanded, pointing at the door to above deck. When he did the dishes, his suit jacket came off, revealing a blue dress-shirt with black stripes all around. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the first two white buttons were undone.

"Don't be so hasty, Cook," Zoro's voice was deep for his age. He sounded much more like a man than a nineteen year old. That was for sure. Sanji's had more of a rasp because of the amount he smoked a day. All the crew knew it wasn't healthy for him but said nothing. Luffy didn't seem to care either way. He never really cared about anything so trivial. "You've been acting weird for a while. I thought by now you would have made a real move on Nami."

"You shut your mouth! Nami is a delicate little flower! I don't care how long it takes, I shall wait for her to approach me with love and affection!" The hearts were back in his eyes, a wide, goofy grin on his face.

Chuckling, Zoro put his hands on his hips and smirked, "I hate to break it to you, Sanji, but only other girl pirates sleep with pirates, and even then, when two pirate ships clash, it's a war, not an orgy. Looks like your date will constantly be your hand unless you make a move on her," Zoro explained coolly, a daring look in his eyes.

"Why, were you planning to make a move on her? I'll KILL YOU!" The cook sprung forward and launched a ferocious kick straight for Zoro's jaw. Before it could reach, though, Zoro caught it with his bare hand. Drawing back, Sanji placed his hands on the floor and twisted his hips, rotating his legs around and attempting a slam to the green haired pirate's unprotected stomach.

Zoro saw the attack coming and jumped into the air, landing on the blondes outstretched legs. Using the momentum of the attack, Zoro pounced forward, tackling the cook to the floor. Thinking quickly, the larger man added weight to his lower back muscles to force Sanji's hips down, immobilising him. Zoro knew that Sanji wouldn't attack with his hands because he didn't want to ruin them.

"Get the fuck off me, Zoro! You fucking dumbass!" The smaller man raged with annoyance. Scowling down at the blonde, the green haired man tightened his hold.

"Shut up, Cook! I'm trying to do you a favour here! Now, are you listening?" Sanji reluctantly nodded his head. "This may come as a big surprise to you, but I'm not in to women. Yeah, thought that might shock you. So, here's what I propose. You've heard the saying, 'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours', right?" Again, the blonde nodded. "Before you say anything, I'm not in the least bit attracted to you. I don't like you, either. But you're the same age as me, and I respect your abilities."

Shock couldn't even begin to describe how the cook was feeling right now. Flabbergasted may be a better word for it. Truthfully, he really couldn't begin to think of one this minute. Zoro was asking – Zoro the swordsman, ex-pirate-bounty-hunter -, him to have sex with him. This had to be some kind of sick joke! There was no way he was going to fuck, or be fucked by a dude. No matter how fucking hormonal he was! Although... There was a problem in his pants already. Zoro's ass was brushing against his arousal.. Meaning, in some way, Sanji was turned on by this.

Playing it cool, the blonde stared straight into the larger man's eyes. "What do you want me to do?" He asked in boredom.

Zoro grinned. "Simple. You're gonna fuck me. Then I'm gonna fuck you."

A scowl was the response. "You actually want to be fucked? I thought it was a whole dominance thing with gay guys?"

"Look, man – a prostate is a prostate. I can imagine it being pretty fucking difficult for me to hit my own with my fingers while fucking yo-"

"Shut up! I get it," Sanji snapped, embarrassed.

"If you're worried about being fucked, don't. Like I just said; a prostate is a prostate. You'll love it, either way." Zoro announced.

Sanji bristled. "If you love it so much, why do you have to fuck me?" He couldn't believe he was saying this. It was as if he wanted to fuck Zoro to begin with... Well.. His arousal was answering that question for him. Damn his fucking hormones!

"You'll enjoy it. And the ass is tight; especially a virgin ass like yours," He stated confidently. Sanji grumbled. Zoro looked about as passionate as he was when he practised his sword fighting. He really must be horny.

"What, so no romantic crap? Just fucking?" The blonde had to know what he was getting into. He didn't think kissing would enhance the sensations, so he'd like to avoid it if possible.

"Kissin' is for sissies. But you're welcome to suck my dick if you like, Cook." Oh, how he wanted to kick that smirk off his face.

"Forget that, fucking swordsman! Let's just get this over with." He sighed and crossed his arms. Zoro just smirked and wiggled his butt on purpose. Sanji gulped; it felt good. Really good. It hadn't even started yet! What the fuck was the matter with him? Was he sick in the head?

Ignoring the obvious panic in the cook's eyes, the swordsman slid further down until his face was inches from the smaller man's crotch. In seconds, his suit-pants were tugged down past his ass, along with his white boxers. Zoro chuckled deeply at the visual. Sanji was hard.

Without missing a beat, Zoro engulfed the head in his wet orifice, enjoying the noise that tore from the blonde's throat. "What are you doing, Jerk?"

Rolling his eyes, the larger male released the stiff cock from his mouth. "Don't be an idiot. If I just force myself on it with no lube, it's gonna fuckin' hurt."

"So?"

"So, dumbass, I can't guarantee I won't shout and alert everyone! You don't want Nami coming down here and seeing us, do you?" Sanji shook his head furiously, glaring.

"We could just use cooking oil!" A few seconds passed, Sanji's fair-skinned cock still clutched in Zoro's left hand. As if a light clicked on in the swordsman's head, he rubbed his chin in thought.

"Oh, yeah. That'll work."

Sanji face-palmed, cursing the green haired pirate to hell and back. Zoro released his shallow grip and rummaged around for the cooking oil, Sanji's forehead twitching every time the loud man made a noise. He really didn't want the rest of the crew stumbling upon something like this. That wasn't the only thing bothering him, though. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Zoro's ass. Curiosity was burning inside him. Thoughts of plunging deep into that tight orifice, thrusting resolutely. Why were these thoughts plaguing him? Even one's of him receiving Zoro's dick. The crotch shots he had witnessed while the man was standing had offered him a good idea of how big he was.

"Found it!" Zoro exclaimed, smirking widely. Setting the bottle down on the floor, the green haired man removed his boxers, kicking them off to the side with no effort at all before snagging the bottle again. He poured some of the contents onto his hand and bent over the sink, lathering the liquid over the crack of his ass. Sanji watched with bated breath, unable to stop his hand from stroking his cock. Zoro inserted a finger into his hole with ease, twisting and pulling, adding a second and stretching the walls. Finally, he secured a third in himself, curling the digits gently. His facial expression didn't change. No pain emanated from him; he almost looked like he was digging for buried treasure in there.

A grunt came from the man. It sounded guttural, almost held back. Zoro had found his G-spot, stroking his digit across the soft area, relishing the waves of ecstasy setting his veins alit with pleasure. "Well, what're ya' waiting for? Slick up your dick. I don't have all day," Zoro was growing impatient. He probably wouldn't slip in his control if he didn't tease his prostate for so long.

"Shut the fuck up! You act as if I'm the one that suggested this, fucker!" Sanji rebuked, narrowing his eyes and doing what he was told. Not because Zoro told him to do it; that display was hot to him for some reason. Quickly, stripping himself of his clothes, the cook grabbed the bottle of cooking oil and squeezed a fair amount on his hand before stroking the fluid onto his penis.

"Quit your complaining, Cook! Would you rather not release some of that frustration?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Want me to just stick it in and go, or do you need time?" Any outsiders looking in would think this was a dare they both had to do because they forfeited from something much more intense. It also appeared like Sanji was a male prostitute, since he had to ask what the other one wanted.

Zoro clicked his tongue. "The lube is to loosen it up for you, dumbass. I've taken bigger than you, so don't flatter yourself!" With that remark, Sanji pressed the head of his cock against Zoro's prepared entrance, using tanned hips as leverage before driving in.

Heat instantly sent his dick soaring to the heavens and back. This is... Tighter than a vagina. Holy shit! Sanji thought, confused by the gaping amounts of pleasure rippling passed his cock and into his body, sending messages of delight straight to his brain. This was unbelievable! He didn't think he would like it... The tightness wrapped around his member... The tingling sensation erecting the hairs on his body. It was all so strange.

"Heh... Ya' look like you're enjoyin' yourself," Zoro murmured, one eye shut from the pleasure, the other glancing back at him with the use of his neck. "What's the matter? Didn' 'xpect to like it?"

"Shut your face, Swordsman!" The venom in his words only made Zoro's smirk grow, a challenging look in his one, open eye. Sanji accepted the wordless challenge, reversing back before raging forwards, his thighs colliding with Zoro's own, his testicles clapping against round, tanned globes of meat.

That had felt good for the cook. So good. He didn't care if he wasn't gay, or if he was. It didn't matter right now. He was having fun. And he hadn't felt this good in a long fucking time. Zoro encouraged his new found interest with a grunt, folding his arms in front of him and resting his forehead on top of the appendages; eyes closed – mouth still stretched. Taking the hint, the cook picked up his pace, tightening his grip on the green haired man's hips while slamming into him, over and over.

Heat was starting to pool in Zoro's groin; his member finally awakening. Like he had stated before, he wasn't attracted to Sanji, so his dick didn't jump to attention the minute he saw him. And while he was prepping himself earlier, it hadn't been enough to make him hard. After all, it took quite a bit to satisfy the master swordsman.

He hated to admit it, but the cook wasn't doing a bad job for a guy that had never fucked another man. Then again, the method was all the same as it was with a girl, men just have one hole and not two. Zoro could hear their sweaty skin slapping against each other, and the ragged breathing of the blonde behind him. He hadn't relented in his thrusts, either; a good thing. Zoro's member hadn't fully risen yet. No, he would need more satisfying before that happened. It might help if Sanji stroked his cock in unison to his thrusts... But the green haired man didn't see that happening. Ironic how he doesn't mind fucking Zoro, but touching his cock is an absolute no.

Well, soon enough he'll have to take the larger man's cock up his pale ass. Sanji was thinking the same as he bucked then tried rotating his hips to see if that would make a difference. Just as he did that, he was rewarded another masculine grunt, the ex-bounty hunter pulsing forward and catching his breath. "Ahh.. Shit! Ya' found it, Cook!" Sanji smirked and did the same again, grinding slower this time. "Fuck... Slow is, ah, great and all, fucker, but this isn't a gentle-fuck. Don't you dare go easy on me, 'cos I'm not planning on showin' you any mercy when it's your turn, got that?"

"Shut up," Sanji grunted, snapping his hips forward at a respectable rate. Zoro grinned, much more satisfied with the pace; the buzzing sensation in his cock proving that it agreed as it stood stiff and proud.

The swordsman shivered as he focused on the feeling of Sanji's dick sliding past his walls, curving ever so slightly, and then jabbing into his prostate. He arched his back, gnawing on his bottom lip. "Fuck, Cook, you're not half bad." Realistically, Zoro didn't expect him to be terrible since Sanji has fucked girls before, and so he knows where to put it and what to do with it; but some amateurs actually thought there was a difference in the two, and would spend much longer getting into it before anything good happened. Luckily, Sanji's doesn't-give-a-fuck attitude was guiding this one.

Sanji rolled his hips again and again, aiming to stab Zoro's G-spot repeatedly. Some part of him was enjoying Zoro's struggle not to cry out in pleasure. It was interesting to see as his face tensed up a little, his back muscles flexing and his arms tightening to suppress it.

"Fuck!" Zoro exclaimed, unfolding his arms and pushing himself, holding his weight with his hands and feet. Sanji took advantage of the new position and gripped Zoro's right shoulder with his right hand, sliding his other up the length of his back.

"You sure do curse a lot," A backward glare was all the blonde received. He simple arched a brow and pierced the man once again. He noticed from this angle that he could lean back slightly to add more power to his thrusts by going to sit then propelling forward.

Zoro choked on his own air, fisting the counter top and throwing his head back. "Ah, fuck! I can't fucking wait to fuck you!" Oddly enough, that only made Sanji smirk. If the swordsman was enjoying himself this much, the cook didn't really have a lot to worry about. Also, it looks as though Zoro has experience fucking other guys. He was actually kind of looking forward to it.

"Che..." But the blonde didn't want Zoro to know that he was anticipating it, and so he pulled all the way out and slammed back in. Immediately, he did the same. One after the other. Zoro gasped after the third one, lowering his head and pushing back onto the appendage.

"Ngh, okay..." Zoro elbowed Sanji in the stomach, the man falling out of him and to the floor with a thud. "Your turn."

"What? But I didn't come!" Sanji grumbled.

Scowling, the swordsman snatched the bottle of cooking oil and threw it at the blonde. "You can either prep yourself, or I can do it for you. Either way, you're getting fucked. Besides, you are not comein' in my ass!" Zoro grimaced at the thought.

Sanji reminisced about how Zoro had prepared himself, beginning to imitate the actions. First, applying the substance to his entrance before slipping the first digit in. Adding a second finger, the smaller man stretched his hole, grunting at the low amount of pain, while Zoro jacked his cock at the spectacle, now even more fired up to be buried inside the cook. Not to waste any time, Zoro got to work on slathering his member in the golden liquid as Sanji inserted another finger into himself. He was making pained noises here and there, possibly wondering how Zoro had done it so effortlessly. That would be because he had experience; Sanji would understand that later.

"Ready?" Zoro asked, disinterested.

Sanji scowled up at him. "Why do I have to look at your face?"

"Turn over then?" Zoro suggested, impatient.

"Whatever."

"So, you're ready?"

"Yes." Sanji replied, annoyed. He was really curious to know how Zoro had handled him with such ease. When he had been prepping himself some moments ago, the stretching had really hurt! Now he was glad the green haired man told him to prepare himself. And he was thankful that Zoro encased his dick in cooking oil.

That reply was good enough for Zoro. He crouched down in front of the blonde and lifted fair-skinned legs over his shoulders, positioning his cock at Sanji's prepared entrance. Without warning, he accelerated his hips and breeched Sanji's insides, smirking as his large member was gripped snugly. Yes! Sanji's ass was virgin tight and felt amazing!

Sanji's eyes slammed shut at the pain, a gasp tearing from his throat, fists clenching on the floor, muscles tensing and throat constricting. Is this what Zoro felt when he fucked him? Why did he seem to be enjoying it so much?

"Why the... Fuck do you... Do this if it... Hurts so much?!" The man exclaimed, annoyed that Zoro didn't give him a chance to adjust before brutally pounding him.

"Just relax, idiot... Do you really... Think that I would... Have let you fuck me... If it hurt?" Well, he had a point there. "You'll enjoy it soon... So just quit your... Whining... Lie back and shut up!" Proper sentences were beginning to be an extremely difficult task for the horny green haired male. All he wanted to do was go faster and harder, but Sanji decided now was the best time to talk. He hadn't complained, so why the fuck should the blonde have the right to? Besides, it won't be long now until he finds Sanji's precious gland.

Instead of grumbling in his head about whiny cooks, Zoro grabbed Sanji's thighs and bucked forwards. His luck levels must have been high because Sanji lurched forward and cried out, Zoro's hand quickly muffling his pleasured scream.

"Mmmphpgmjjerrmphhhgreemphgre tyymph!"

"What?" Zoro questioned mid-thrust, confused by the words ricocheting off his hand. He removed it and waited for Sanji to speak, not stopping his fast-paced pounding. One of the things about sex that he enjoyed so much was the sound their skin made when it collided. If there's no sound, you aren't going fast enough. Or you're weak.

"You could... Have...SHIT... fucking warned... Nghh.. me, jerk!" His complaints went unheard as Zoro drove into him again, long and hard, opting between leaning forward to get in deeper, or forcing the blondes legs to lock around his waist. He chose to do both in the end, placing his hands at the sides of Sanji's shoulders and leaning forwards, seductively rolling his hips, knowing that his dick was deliciously massaging the cook's special gland. Sanji's facial expression told him he was right about this. His eyes had drooped to half-mast, his mouth open slightly and head tipped back.

Yeah, Zoro was doing a great job of royally screwing the slightly older male. Sanji could now see why the green haired ex-bounty hunter enjoyed this so much. The new sensations frolicking through his being were so unknown, yet so welcome to him. It wasn't just the pleasure that he liked, either. When he had been the one giving, watching Zoro, a domineering man stifle moans and suppress how much he was loving being fucked had been amazing. He was sure that the larger man thought the same right now. The control was something you wouldn't understand until you, yourself had done it. They are completely at your mercy, except in this case the control was handed over. A switch up; flip-flop. And the man even delighted in being controlled, because he knew how it felt. It's the power. The respect. The knowledge that you're controlling their actions, that you're the one bringing them pleasure; satisfying them. It makes you feel like you're on top of the world.

"Fuck!" Sanji cursed. He didn't usually curse this much – he had manners, but there was something about the lust-driven craze that was throwing his respects out the window.

"You sure do curse a lot," Zoro mocked with a sickening gleam in his eyes. He was offered a roll of the eyes in return for his mockery. Sanji didn't take it personally. He was too far gone, soaring on cloud nine to even begin to care. Zoro caught onto the fact that he had lost the cook for now, continuing to assault the cook's ass, noticing that Sanji was tightening around him. This meant that he was close to coming.

"Hey, idiot," After a few more thrusts, Zoro realised that he was close to his limit too, pulling out of the smaller male. He was briefly mesmerised at the sight of Sanji's entrance contracting and relaxing. "Jerk your own dick."

Sanji shook his head from side to side and scowled – just now realising that the pleasurable pulses had halted and Zoro was no longer erratically thrusting into him. Ignoring the mumbling inside his head about how much he was enjoying that, Sanji gripped his member and tugged resolutely. He was so close to breaking point, and he knew it was going to be a big load.

Zoro fell back onto his butt and did the same, furiously stroking his dick, eyes tightly closed and teeth gritted. Their expressions matched as they gave a few, final jerks to their cocks before bucking forward and releasing onto their abdominals, and chests. Sanji even managed to get some on his neck, while a few streams of Zoro's settled on his shoulder. Luckily, none of it got on the floor.

Their breathing was heavy as they tried to come down from their sex-induced-high, both giving a few, last strokes to their dicks to get the rest of the spunk out. As they began to come down from their high, they fell back onto the floor, arms out, stomachs rising and falling, and expressions like they were in nirvana.

"Hey... Swordsman..." Sanji called, turning his head to the side.

The green haired man did the same, arching a firm eyebrow. "What.. Is it?"

"If you're up for it... We could do this.. Again, sometime?" The hope in his voice was just barely hidden, but the ex-bounty hunter picked up on it anyway, chuckling lowly.

"Sure thing, Cook."

Not my best work, just so you know. o.o... This was so rushed. I can't believe I wrote it. x.x

Um...

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this random one shot. o-o You can make a request for something if you wish (I'm very open to them), but I don't think anyone would want to after reading... This. XD

Until next time~

-Kieran